UrbanMonk.Net Frequently Asked Questions
Are you enlightened / a guru / ascended master?
I am truly grateful, honoured and humbled that my readers see me like this. I’m not being sarcastic – I really am honoured. But at the same time I don’t want to be a fraud – I am not and never have claimed to be a spiritual guru who holds all the answers. I know I make a lot of jokes about starting my own cult, but that’s all they are – jokes.
I have no formal spiritual or religious training. I am a psychology student who found the spiritual path the best to escape his own suffering. All the things I write about are tested on me and a few friends only. Please don’t believe anything I have to say – put it to the test, and decide for yourself.
I don’t walk around all blissed out everyday. I don’t levitate. My farts don’t smell like strawberries. I have days where I am overflowing with confidence and days where I doubt myself. Some people think I’m the best thing that ever happened to them. Others think I’m a total retard. Sometimes I feel sad. Sometimes I feel like a Calvin Klein underwear model.
In other words, I am just like you. I have my ups, and I have my downs – it’s part of the game of life, and I just want to enjoy the ride. The only difference is that I’m on this side of the screen, and you’re on the other.
An additional note on gurus: There are enlightened gurus out there, but there are many more frauds. Use your common sense, and do some research before listening to any of them, or following what they have to say.
Are you affiliated with Urbanmonk.com, or any other variants?
When I created the blog, I spent days agonizing over the name, and in the end I fell in love with Urban Monk title, even though urbanmonk.com was taken. I decided it wasn’t that big a deal and bought the .net extension, which is something I regret now. There is a lot of confusion and possible lost readers who might type in urbanmonk.com or something.
I have also contacted the owner of urbanmonk.com, hoping to purchase the domain name, but they said they will be using it soon for their own publishing company. If / when that happens, please remember that I am not affiliated with any of the other variants of the Urban Monk name - UrbanMonk.Net is the only site I run so far. I have a joint venture with two good friends and fellow bloggers coming up, but the name will be something totally different.
Could you help me with my specific problem?
I really welcome all feedback and questions, and I try to answer them as best as I can. I love suggestions for future posts, as I know I am providing value if I am answering reader questions.
However, as mentioned in the contact page, I am not a trained professional (yet) and don’t claim to be one. I am a psychology student, yes, but I’m not certified yet. There are many people who email asking me for solutions to their problem, and some of them I am not qualified to answer. All I can write on are my own experiences, and what has worked for me. I have held nothing back in my articles.
Please continue sending me questions and feedback, but please understand if I can’t help sometimes. I feel a bit guilty when I get emails from people who are obviously in distress and all I can say in return is please read this post here on so-and-so, or perhaps find professional help. Also, the amount of emails has been sharply increasing and it’s getting increasingly harder to find the time to reply.
What religion do you follow?
I don’t know. I was raised as a Christian, but recently I have been exploring various religions in my free time. So far, certain branches of Buddhism (like Zen) take my fancy, but it’s only because I haven’t gone in-depth into the others. Taoism is my next area of exploration. I’m a big fan of non-duality, although I’m not really qualified to write on it as I haven’t experienced it (yet). However, all these are more philosophies, or ways of looking at life, or schools of thought (not sure what you call them) rather than religions. I don’t know if I’m a religious person.
You mentioned being depressed. How did you find the courage to snap out of it?
I don’t know either. I was so upset, angry, self-hating and miserable for many years. I came out of it naturally a couple of times, and then certain things would trigger a fall back into depression. However, one of these falls was different - this time I thought “Oh no! Oh no! Never again!” and decided I would fight it with all my might. After a few days of being miserable I found the courage to pick up the phone and call a counsellor. There’s no shame in seeking professional help, despite the social stigma.
Around the same time, my interest in spirituality developed from a hobby into a full-grown passion, and that was the start of the whole journey.
Why do you put in dirty jokes / talk about sex so much?
I don’t know (again). It’s more fun that way I guess, and that’s the way I speak among friends. Since the blog came out of pre-launch in late April, I’ve finally developed my own writing voice, and I think this is a good balance. I initially intended the blog to cover a wide array of topics including more “urban” stuff like social skills and so on, but somehow it developed down this path and built a reputation as a blog on the inner world.
I don’t see anything wrong with sex and a bit of dirty humour; although I admit it might be out of place in a blog like this and therefore I have toned it down as much as I could.
A big thank you to my beloved big sister, though, who acts as my editor although she lives in a different country. If it wasn’t for her constant emails to “be more professional!” and “take out that dirty joke!” you would be reading a very different blog 
.
Writing about myself
This is more a statement rather than a question. Whenever I read a book, I get a bit irritated if the author constantly talks about himself and his life experiences. As a result, I try to leave out my own stories as much as I can, although sometimes I have to – many of the things I write about are a result of my own experimentation and therefore I have no other way of illustrating it.
Many readers feel the opposite way, though – they enjoy the personal stories, and so I’ll continue to throw them in. If any one gets sick of it, please let me know. Please try to understand that I don’t write about myself because I enjoy it, but it’s a necessary evil to further a point.
UrbanMonk.Net provides comprehensive articles for your personal development - modern life, entwined with ancient spirituality.
Get the latest posts free via Email or RSS.(What does Subscribing / RSS mean?)
15 Comments , Comment or Ping
sof theo
**edited out as a few people were attacking sof theo for the way he reported his feedback**
Sep 21st, 2007
Albert
Hi sof, thanks for the comments. No I don’t mind any feedback at all, I don’t moderate them except for spam and so on. Feedback taken on board
. Thanks for stopping by!
Sep 21st, 2007
Never the Same River Twice
As always, Albert, I appreciate your humility and honesty. And I again vote for the inclusion of personal stories! Of course if you’re not comfortable don’t share, but I’ve found the stories you have told very helpful in increasing my understanding of your content.
Sep 22nd, 2007
Albert
Thanks for that, vote noted and appreciated too
Sounds like I’ll keep throwing them in then.
Sep 22nd, 2007
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker
Albert, you know that I agree with Never the Same River Twice (great name, by the way) about your personal experiences. You also know that my blog is definitely about my personal experiences because I use them to pass on information to other survivors of abuse.
I appreciate the humbleness by admitting you are not a guru. Ha, Ha!!! Just throwing in a little humor. You can’t please everyone, so as the song goes, please yourself. You are doing a great job with your articles.
Sep 23rd, 2007
Albert
Heh, humor is always welcome, especially given the subject matter of the blog sometimes. Thanks for the compliment and the vote, and good to see you around again - you’ve been a big voice of support for a long time, and I appreciate that =)
Sep 24th, 2007
Mark
Thanks for sharing very honest and interesting responses.
Sep 25th, 2007
Albert
Thanks for stopping by Mark! Glad to have you here.
Sep 25th, 2007
Tina Su - Think Simple. Be Decisive.
Hi Albert,
Just a note to let you know that, I’ve added you to my list of tags to join in Alex Shalman’s “Caring Compassion Charity”.
The idea is for you to write about a cause you feel strongly about.
You can find my article post here: http://thinksimplenow.com/happ.....eart-sing/
I hope you to hear from you about your cause.
Love, Tina
Oct 20th, 2007
Albert
Hey Tina, I don’t know why, but I just saw this comment just now. For some reason I didn’t get an email notification of this comment. But I’ve participated in the meme anyway
. Sorry for the late reply.
Nov 5th, 2007
Jonathan Evatt
Hi Albert,
I read this bit with interest:
——
Writing about myself
This is more a statement rather than a question. Whenever I read a book, I get a bit irritated if the author constantly talks about himself and his life experiences. …. (snip)
—–
If I am writing what is it I can most authentically offer to my readers? The same applies if I am talking, what can I most authentically offer to those who care to listen?
In my experience it is just that, my own experience is what I can most authentically share. All else is just a vicarious idea, thought, or perhaps a belief. That’s not to suggest one can not be authentic is sharing the story of another person, yet again at the end of the proverbial day is it not only MY perception of that person’s story which I can share?
In the second book I am writing I explore the notion of “The Word as Law”. Part of that exploration looks at the use of “I-statements”. I’ve noticed in English speaking cultures (it may exist in other languages but I don’t know as I only speak English) that the majority of people make “you-statements” most of the time, even when they are specifically talking about themselves!! It is so common that I suspect you will about now be wondering just what it is I am on about. Most people, when I first introduce them to this observation, are a little perplexed about what I mean. Over the next few days pay particular attention to people talking and you may notice how often they use the word “you” when they are in fact referring to themselves.
“Hey Joe how was your day?”
“Oh it was okay, but like always you’ve always got too much to do. You get up in the morning, there’s hardly enough time for your coffee, and then it’s off to work doing something you don’t even enjoy…”
It almost looks odd to read when spelt out like this, yet in my experience this is the norm.
I have found that when I introduce people to I-Statements a few common things happen. 1. People gossip less. 2. People become less dictatorial and more communal toward others, 3. I also feel very different using I-statements, because I am actually taking ownership of my experience of life, and with this ownership comes the possibility of responsibility. I cease being such a victim to life because it is no longer (psychologically) a “you” out there doing things to me but rather and “I” right here and now choosing (consciously or unconsciously) to experience and perceive reality in a particular way. Anyway… I could say much more yet I have other things to get on with.
So in conclusion, I encourage you to explore the power and nature of I-Statements and to use them as much as possible in what you are sharing here at Urban Monk — it is, after all, entirely YOUR perception and experience of life you are sharing. Right?
Many blessings,
Jonathan
Dec 18th, 2007
Albert
Thanks for that Jonathan! I really appreciate this - your insight is amazing.
I guess I wrote that comment simply because of personal preference - as mentioned I do get annoyed when people keep talking about themselves. So I decided not to do it too much
. That’s the only reason. I hope all my readers know I’m just sharing my opinion in all my articles, even if I use a different story.
Regarding the I statement, could I offer a slightly different perspective? I’ve found in myself and the people around me that those who use the word I a lot tend to take things more personally, pick fights for no reason, see insults where none were intended, and just in general, are more highly strung and selfish - sometimes to the point of being obnoxious. I tried the opposite, using less I statements, and found myself more pleasant in general. What do you think?
I’m not disagreeing, or anything, you’ve raised some awesome insights, but this is just what I’ve experienced and I would love to know what you think.
Blessings in return!
Dec 18th, 2007
P.G. Smith
Comment about the site design: I don’t mind it. I like the white space, I find it calming. In fact, I think your site could use a bit more white space, as I find some of the ad links on the left side of the screen a bit distracting. I know ads are part of making a blog work, but the placement of them is a bit of an art.
Also, thank you for publishing your blog. I have been struggling with a lot of the same questions and challenges, and it is good to find a fellow traveler. I found your articles on compassion/false compassion especially helpful.
Jan 25th, 2008
Albert
Hey there PG. Thanks for the support. Yes I know what you mean about the ads, it was a struggle finding the right balance between making things look good and still making some sort of income from what I do. Sof’s comment referred to an old 2 column version of my design, I’m always changing my baby around
And thanks for the compliment. It’s words like yours that make it all worthwhile.
Jan 25th, 2008
suicidalsam
i think sof theo is just being an idiot, very ungrateful of him. why does he have to come to someone else’s blog and tell him that he has no life experience? I think you are insecure , thats y you have to put that in and show the whole world just how cool u r.
Mar 10th, 2008
Reply to “ UrbanMonk.Net Frequently Asked Questions ”
DoFollow. Due to all the spammers, comments are now only Dofollow after a secret number of entries.