Surrender and Joy in the Pursuit of Excellence
There are many beliefs – myths – on the concepts of success and greatness; and even around something as simple as making an honest living. For most of us, these revolve around struggle, competition and lack.
It makes sense, then, that lack and struggle just make this earth a worse place for everyone living on it. I cannot say if these old beliefs are right or wrong – they have been ingrained deeply in me as well – but I have been considering an alternative, and I want to share my thoughts with you.
Struggle, grit, and competition
What are some of these common myths? Many of us believe the only way to make a decent living is through struggle. Hard work – blood, sweat, and tears!
Others believe they have to step on others during their upwards journey, stealing customers, or ruining the reputations of others. This mindset is so deeply entrenched that even many otherwise kind and loving people seem to have multiple personalities – Jekyll and Hyde at their best.
They call these mindsets business savvy, street smarts. It’s just the way of the world, they say. Sometimes it gets a bit more subtle; they might try to be selfless in their work. But deep down inside, struggle and competition still exist. They are still looking around – “Is anyone noticing how selfless I am being, how giving and compassionate I am?”
And here’s the kicker: It is definitely possible to achieve certain goals through competition, backstabbing, struggle, sheer grit or cunning. The problem arises when we think that these are the only ways to get “there”.
What I want to offer is a different perspective, a total turnaround in the way we do things.
Joy and Enthusiasm
“Riches, when they come in huge quantities, are never the result of HARD work!”
~ Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich.
The first concept I want to discuss is struggle. In the seminal millionaire’s bible, Think and Grow Rich
But in the rest of the book, Hill goes on to espouse persistence, telling stories of people who have taken years to get what they want. It confused me initially. “Doesn’t that clash?” I thought. “Doesn’t that already mean hard work?”
But it doesn’t. Hard work has nothing to do with the time, quantity. It implies struggle, a lack of joy. And we have discussed this in part one: success simply means bringing quality into the present moment, the step we are taking right now.
Bring joy and enthusiasm into your work. Though it might be tiring, let it be playful. Forget all thoughts of the past, the future, and of others – and quality is the natural result. Without enthusiasm, there is no quality – how can anything good come of that?
Make it a point to ask yourself: What is my inner state? Am I doing this from a state of joy, or resistance?
Burning the seeds of suffering
“Nobody wants to suffer, but we carry the seeds of suffering within us.
The whole point of working on ourselves is to burn those seeds.”
~ Osho
If you are a long-time reader, you will probably notice until recently, almost every article has been chronicling an inner journey, a focus on suffering and its removal, of cultivating happiness and compassion for others.
This journey was not by choice, it was out of necessity. Before I started it, I struggled in many other areas of my life, finances and relationships, but my efforts never made much a difference. It was only when I went to the root of my dis-ease; that was when everything else began to fall into place.
What does that have to do with achieving our goals? What does that have to do with finding quality? Everything.
When we have burnt anger and resentment at the past, when we have cut out anxiety over the future, our mental space is so much clearer. Our thoughts and attention are no longer being focused on all the garbage, the mess in our heads; and we can focus them on bringing quality into our work. It is hard to bring joy and enthusiasm, even for a job you love, when you are simply not happy.
Is it just fear?
Naturally, our external situation has a big part to play. Riches never come as a result of hard work – which means that it will be twice as hard to find riches in an endeavour you dislike. Find a job you love, and work will become play – and tackling your list of tasks begins to feels like fun.
Yet this is easy to say; so hard to do! “We live in the real world,” you might think. “It’s not always so easy. Wouldn’t we all love to play at work? What if we can’t?”
And I can’t deny it – very often it seems like everything is against us. Lack of opportunities; bills to pay; families to support!
But if you look closely; are your circumstances really as limiting as you think it is? Often, it is not. Everyone uses excuses and self-deception, covering up a lack of courage, a need for external security or approval. “What would my parents think? What would my spouse say? What if I fail? What if, what if, what if?”
This is another reason for internal work, emotional mastery – I have found my courage steadily increasing. I’m doing things that I would have shied away from in the past; I’m letting go of my needs for approval and safety. And as a natural result, persistence and faith – the very traits Hill espouses – have been steadily growing.
The trap of non-resistance
There is a beautiful teaching in many traditions and religions: Non-resistance – a state of inner surrender – is the key to living a peaceful life. Bring inner surrender into your life; carry an inner yes from deep within you.
Emotional anguish mostly stems from two roots. One of this is an inner resistance to what is happening. A sudden storm forces you to cancel your picnic; why are you upset? A belief that things should go your way, or that rain should only fall on days convenient to you, perhaps. In other words – an inner “no” to whatever is happening.
When you change that no into a yes – a yes with your entire being – your external situations suddenly don’t seem that bad. But it doesn’t mean not taking action at all, it means taking action without any resentment – letting your actions go with the flow.
This is a trap many fall into; they believe this teaching means accepting the situation silently at all costs. They have confused inner surrender with martyr hood and self-sacrifice.
Because of this, they stay in something they hate. They are in a job they despise, a location that makes them miserable. And they try to follow their interpretation of this teaching; they try to be spiritual or religious – and so they just stay in it. Very often, their mental anguish increases, for they are still unhappy, and on top of that, another layer. Now they are not “spiritually advanced” enough, whatever that means, to remain happy in adverse conditions.
Inner surrender and outer action
Inner surrender doesn’t mean outer stagnation; we are not to just sit there and take it. Words and actions can and will still arise. There will be many times we have to speak up for ourselves, or remove ourselves from the scene. But whatever we do, there is reduced anger, fear, or defensiveness in it. Like we’ve discussed in part one, this brings a certain quality to your words and actions, making it far likelier to succeed.
Still, there will be times when you cannot do anything externally. All we can do is to remove as much negativity as we can from it. If you can’t be happy doing it, then at least bring acceptance into it. Remove all grumbling, external and internal.
And again, emotional work can be tremendously helpful here. We’ve mentioned the rainstorm above. What is the other reason we get upset? The anger, the sadness, whatever it was – it was already in you. The rain didn’t cause your anguish; it merely served to remove the veil you had used to cover your sadness.
Surrender to where you are now
And the last, perhaps most important lesson I’ve learnt about inner surrender. We’ve discussed resistance to what we have to do. We’ve discussed resistance to the past – this shows up in our constant ruminations and reliving of the past. We can resist the future – which shows up as fear and anxiety.
But as Eckhart Tolle said in The Power of Now
We think that our resistance to our present situation, whatever we are experiencing now, will somehow propel us out of it, into something better. We think that it motivates us to take action.
But what if this resistance strengthens the unconscious patterns that perpetuate our circumstances?
Resistance strengthens
I had a friend who has been single for several years. He was lonely, and he desperately wanted a girlfriend to alleviate his sense of isolation. And the more he tried and failed, the more upset he got. I remember a night he called to complain about another night home alone; his anger and frustration was almost palpable, even over the phone.
I didn’t recognise it then, but it strikes me now. The more he resisted being alone – the more he hated it – the stronger his desperation and neediness became. And these were the very traits that were driving potential lovers away.
Tolle explains this in a slightly different way – the quality of your consciousness decides your life. No matter how you change your actions, or your appearance, or anything – if your inner state remains the same – nothing will yield solid or lasting results.
An important inner step
An important step to changing your circumstances is to accept it as it is right now. Remove all resentment and negativity, so you can bring quality into your actions. And that quality will be a key factor in improving your lifestyle.
Be aware that it is not negativity subtly disguised as surrender - a “I don’t give a damn anymore!” attitude. Surrender brings peace; giving up doesn’t.
If that is hard, then begin by recognising what you do have. An alternative would be to take the story out of whatever you are in, leaving behind the bare facts.
A psychology lecturer once explained to me how this works. “I am poor!” you cry. That is a story, one that you wallow in, that keeps you in a state of depression, desperation and low motivation. He told me to consider the pure facts, without the story? For instance – “I am five thousand dollars in debt.” Facing facts goes a long way towards removing self-pity; it empowers you and kicks you into action.
Outer action and inner surrender don’t clash. Surrender brings excellence to your every action.
Link Love
My friend Eric Grey over at Deepest Health has a nice project going on that you might like to participate in; it certainly looks like a lot of fun! The Year of Sagely Living encourages us to dedicate ourselves to developing a particular aspect of our growth each month. Please go and have a look.
The second blog I want to highlight is David Bohl’s Slow Down Fast! David runs a personal development blog, and I love his attitude and style. A recent post, very relevant to our current topic is: Success in 2008.
Last but not least is Akemi’s blog, Gratitude Magic. I also enjoy her writing style, very bubbly and full of zest for life. Her recent post is also very relevant to what we are discussing; it’s called Focus on Success.
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29 Comments, Comment or Ping
Akemi
Thank you for mentioning my blog, Albert. I feel very honored.
Akemi
Jan 6th, 2008
Andre Hess|Empowered Soul
Great article, Albert! It always strikes me as energetically completely nonsensical that we could create something satisfying from a situation of struggle. The idea that suffering now (in a job we hate, for example, but are doing to get a promotion) will lead to anything other than more suffering (such as when we recognize that we hate the job we coveted just as much!) just doesn’t add up for me.
I think the idea of “delayed gratification” plays into this a great deal. If we do something with joy and passion now, the reward is in the moment itself. Even if we’re working a lot. And how can we attract anything but more joy and passion out of this work? But the “suffer now, be rewarded later” attitude is one of those deeply rooted myths in our society, especially in our mentality towards work.
Blessings,
Andrea
Jan 7th, 2008
Albert
@ Akemi: You’re welcome, keep up the great work on your blog
@ Andrea: I’ve never thought of it that way, wow! I must say that I have also bought into the myth of delayed gratification quite a lot in the past. Thank you for the insight, I always look forward to having you here.
Jan 7th, 2008
Eric
Albert,
Thanks so much for mentioning the project. It’s already been a wonderful experience and as more folks get involved, it will become more so.
This article speaks a lot to some of the suffering I have seen in clinic. Some people build up such a heavy head of negativity and even hatred towards their own bodies because of some disability or illness they become their own biggest barrier to healing. On the other side of the spectrum are folks that I talk with not because they are in clinic, but in some other situation. They actually refuse to come into any clinic because they are “resigned to the situation.” They talk about how they struggled and struggled, and then just stopped fighting and how it “feels so much better.” But it never seems like the right choice to me! Acceptance of one’s situation as it is can definitely be healing - but with that acceptance must come the willingness to see a limiting situation transform.
Eric
http://deepesthealth.com
Jan 7th, 2008
Albert
Eric, that is a fantastic point. I can’t believe I left that out, thanks for that. I think there is a difference between “I don’t give a damn anymore”, which is just subtle, hidden, negativity, and true acceptance. I’ll go and edit the post right now. Thanks again.
Jan 7th, 2008
ReddyK - The Atma Jyoti Blog
You do well to stress that inner surrender should be accompanied by outer action. While we should be content with and at peace in our outer surroundings, we should always strive to improve our inner knowledge and understanding, and that takes effort.
There is a peace which is stagnation and death. Peace is more than non-conflict. It is won through conquering shortcomings.
In the movie The Third Man there is a scene where Joseph Cotton confronts Orson Welles in the Eiffel Tower. Welles makes a very pointed comment to the effect that while Switzerland has a long history of peace, all they have contributed to the world is the coo-coo clock, whereas with all the wars and conflict Italy has gone through, the creative arts have flourished there as perhaps nowhere else.
Look at the civilizations that have produced the most saints in all religions–China, India, Byzantium, Italy, and other European nations. Most of them have been imperial nations, bent on conquering. When that determined effort of mastery is turned inward, you get success in personal and spiritual life.
So combine both: the mind of inner tranquilty and the mind of inner conquest. Spiritual life is a paradox.
Jan 7th, 2008
ReddyK - The Atma Jyoti Blog
Egads! I just checked my Third Man facts, and it seems my memory of the local was off by a few hundred miles. It happened somewhere in Austria on a fancy ferris wheel, not on the Eiffel Tower.
Jan 7th, 2008
Evan
Hi Albert,
A wonderful post.
Surrender can be liberating. But as Eric points out (if I read him correctly) this is different to just giving in.
The question with the advice to surrender (with which I wholly agree) is discernment. Do I surrender to everything? This means any social action is impossible - is the desire to change injustice and suffering wrong (if so what of compassion?). And what of compassion for myself and my own suffering? How do I know when to surrender and when to leave?
I think these are central questions. I’d love to hear what you have to say on them.
Jan 7th, 2008
Albert
Thank you guys! I think the key here, is first to give up non-resistance. I’ve written more about it here:
http://www.urbanmonk.net/97/ho.....-life-now/
But I would say that giving up is hidden negativity, which is what Eric brilliantly pointed out. Let’s take my depression many years ago, I fell into it because I felt “beaten up” by life - everything seemed to be going wrong. And I just sort of gave up, and sat in my room and ruminated endlessly. That was the wrong kind of surrender - in fact it was even more negative.
Now, when I began getting out of depression, I was taking steps to improve my life. No longer was it - “OK, my relationships suck, so what?” It became - “No way! I have to do something about it!”
I was taking action, yes, but there was still a very strong undercurrent of anger / resentment. Just like my single friend in the article, my resentment flowed into many things I did.
You can see this in a minor example: Recently I was at a picnic. But just as it started, a rainstorm began to fall. You can see the varying reactions in people: Some got upset, some started grumbling, others just sort of gave up and sat around inside the shelter. But a couple of people took control, so to speak. They were honestly happy (not just forcing a smile).
So they brightened up the spirits of everyone else, ran back out into the rain to pack up the stuff left on the grass (when the rain fell everyone made a run for it, leaving the food outside), and then they took other steps. Getting umbrellas for the ladies, making plans for the rest of the evening, etc, etc.
This was action taken in a state of inner surrender. There was no negativity, resentment, or anything at all, and yet they did the best they could and salvaged a situation that could have been ruined if everyone just gave up / grumbled / got upset.
I think it was a great example of how surrender can bring action that benefits all, and how “I don’t care anymore” is just a hidden form of negativity.
I think that this state is possible, if not necessary, for all bigger situations. When you are in such a state, you will have a clearer idea of what to do and what to say. To stay or to leave.
To stick with that minor example, if everyone was in a bad mood, or crying, or whatever, then the people taking surrendered action could just have easily said OK, you’re not in the mood to continue, let’s just pack up and go home. Again, there is no negativity there. Surrender to everything - and then you can leave or stay or be compassionate or do whatever.
I would say my favourite way of checking is to be 100% honest, and be always checking inside yourself: How much peace is there?
Jan 7th, 2008
John Torcello
Is perfection truly the enemy of the good?…
is perfection an illusion?…an unattainable ideal?
I don’t know about you…but, I have always felt that one of the most important things I do is to try to strive for what I’ve understood as perfection as the goal of my efforts in life. And, I find, often, it is in this effort of striving that, upon reflection, I feel most rewarded.
As a youth, raised in a nurturing, protected environment and surrounded by well-meaning individuals; these people instilled in me a set of virtuous values that, when practiced and combined with my own innate talents, empowered me to put into action the conscious desire to achieve a certain degree of excellence in the things I do each day and in the dreams I imagine.
In my giddy blindness, it took me a long time to realize that the ‘real’ world we live in is indeed not perfect…and appears to us as simultaneously both perfect and imperfect, good and bad; and depending on your point-of-view, real and unreal…
I believed when I succeeded, it was because there was a sort of power, a benevolent god, outside of me; watching me and others; guiding and protecting me/us on this joint trek toward excellence; promising the assurance that if I/we at least tried to live in this way, in death, I/we would be rewarded with heaven.
Often, when I failed, in fits of negative emotion; fear, anger, despair and impatience with difficulties, frustrations, contradictions, imperfections, obstacles I encountered…I would relinquish this concept of a gentle and good perceived power outside myself and replace it as the influence of another power outside myself called the devil; evil.
It was a surprise to me to later discover that often even positive emotions; puffy courage, perceived happiness, unfounded hope and self-assured feelings of righteousness; had the same effect as the negative emotions outlined above; particularly when these actions were motivated by my egotistical actions of selfishness and pride.
I also found that people around the world and in every culture generally do understand and agree with the importance of values in their lives; and, they know that they should apply them as their plan for living; but, more often than not, when faced with challenges to this notion; they are weak…and, through their chosen actions they repeat, over and over, the failure to overcome them. Often relinquishing their responsibility for failed actions to this higher power too;… “where was He when I needed Him?”…
I’ve been told that the unwillingness to accept this described notion of an all-powerful god/devil outside us; leaves us alone with only chaos in our lives…vulnerable to whatever we’re hit with in each day of our existence. That, instead, I must accept and have ‘faith’ that such a spiritual order as described exists.
I prefer to understand they we are born and die alone; and, I have the ‘faith’ that - in that middle between birth and death - through the (sometimes) virtuous actions of my life; my attempts at facing and trying to overcome my individual, unique set of challenges - overcoming the pre-disposition of the repetitive negative actions I so often face…is what life is all about.
In this way, the right actions I understand and that I choose to face and ‘faithfully’ try to attain are indeed oriented toward an extraordinary concept called perfection…a way of being that only a few extraordinary persons; who dwell outside themselves in denial of self - and, through their compassionate actions for others - ever reach.
Perhaps we never know these ‘extraordinary’ individuals we encounter as they stand beside us in a crowd…maybe we’re incapable of seeing them, feeling them, understanding them, accepting them, learning from them…and perhaps, just perhaps, we can have the ‘faith’ that maybe there are more of them around us than we’re willing to admit?
John Torcello
Jan 8th, 2008
kirsten
Hi Albert,
I just finished reading Hill’s book for a second time last week and that quotation stuck with me as well. Lasting success (no matter how you define success) can only come from a state of sustained joy, not one of fear and deprivation. Yet how convenient and lucrative are these fearful states for sectors of the economy! Competition from the negative state is so deeply woven into our entertainment and advertising that it further fuels these states in daily life. Stepping out of this mad race takes prescence of mind and awareness of the now as Tolle describes.
However, I think that feelings of anger or resistance can fuel people to change for the better, if they concsiously choose to see the situation as an opportunity for learning and growth. Although that choice too, takes a certain prescence of mind.
Jan 8th, 2008
Albert
@ John: Wow, you’ve really poured your heart into that. Thank you so much!
@ Kirsten: Yes, it’s kinda scary how fear and lack are actually the driving force behind so much of our consumer culture. Kinda like how the whole branded goods thing is just a need for approval… one that I can’t say I’m free of.
You’re right, of course. Anger and resistance really can push people into action, but I do feel at one point they must drop that anger. I could be wrong, but I think anything that is created while in a state of anger will result in something similar in the people around you, or the people who use your product, etc, however subtly. I think “The means justifies the end” isn’t really appropriate in most cases. If we have a choice to create / change from a state of joy, it would be better to take that choice. Of course, often we don’t have that choice… kinda a double bind, isn’t it? I’m confusing myself, hehe.
Jan 8th, 2008
kirsten
Albert, you’re right to point out that anger does need to be dissolved/dropped at some point. Anger can motivate us to say, “This is not a good situation” and then the next question can be, “How can I use this feeling to make things better?” That way anger can be eventually transmuted into action with a higher intent backing it, i.e. joy or desire to help, desire to grow, etc.
Jan 8th, 2008
Adrian
Many thanks for taking time to write such a thoughtful post. You have a wonderful ability to bring together many diverse writings and ideas. I’m new to your blog but I’m very happy I found you.
With best wishes.
Jan 8th, 2008
Life Reflection
Hi Albert,
Another great post of yours. I have read Napolene Hill’s book some years back and I am also a great fan of Eckhart Tolle.
It is very true that anger and hatred will bring about negative state of mind. Although it too propelled us into actions but the actions we took based on the negative state of mind might not be the appropriate ones.
I find that have having gratitute to people and things will bring about positive inner state and lower our resistance.
Thanks for the wonderful post.
Jan 8th, 2008
Albert
Thank you very much everyone, I’m much obliged for your kind words
Jan 8th, 2008
voipBlogger
Slow down fast is a great blog! Thanks for reminded me about it, I almost forgot to subscribe last time.
Jan 10th, 2008
Albert
Hehe, you’re welcome VOIPblogger…yea he’s a great blogger isn’t he? Top guy, too!
Jan 10th, 2008
Steve
Albert - nice post.
I especially enjoyed your closing. That the key to inner joy is to accept your outter circumstances or results.
One thing I would add is that inner joy is a result of outer acceptance AND an understanding that all things that you want will manifest in time, a ‘knowing’ that good things are to come…
All the best,
Stephen Martile
Personal Development Made Simple
http://www.stephenmartile.com
Jan 11th, 2008
estrella
1) Why do we want to succeed, what is the intention? Do we have a view behind that all, where we want to go?
I think that the view: “I want to be happy and in peace with all around me and my life”, is not enough. At least, for me, it’s not enough! I want to know that I go somewhere, somewhere really meaningfull and not only to “happiness”.
I find that on some blogs you find about “rising consciousness” etc, there is much talk about just that, “rising consciousness”. That talk about “I want to be more aware, to be peacefull etc” seems very egoistic to me. And it would never be enough for me. But it is also not enough, I think, to just turn to other people in order “to do good to them”. I see there is something behind that (the inner and outer world, me and “them”,) or connecting that. And to attain *this*, is my goal, nothing else.
2) For me, “Power vs Force” by David R. Hawkins shows us, where we will go through, according to where we stand now.
For instance, if you stand near fear or desire, you will go some time through anger in order to rise. It seems that you have to.
Though these level of consciousness in that book describe *IMHO* different fragments of our life, I do not think it is necessary to know where your “overall” level of consciousness resides. You just go on, on and on, without analyzing all the time.
Jan 11th, 2008
Albert
@ Stephen: I agree with you complete
Thanks for the comment.
@ Estrella: It’s very interesting that you say that…I assume you’re talking about non-duality? The losing of the ego? Finding the interconnectedness, returning “home” is what they say is the ultimate motivation behind everything we do. I don’t know if that’s true though. Very interesting comment, thank you.
Jan 11th, 2008
estrella
Albert:
I am a bit cautious concerning vocabulary. It has caused so much damage in the past, and it still does.
Perhaps the most appropriate word you’ve mentioned may be “returning home”.
About the “ego”: I have some firm ideas (views) about what people may call “ego”. But these are mine - you will not find them anywhere. Perhaps another time I will post about them - here or elsewhere..
About you not knowing if that it’s true, but if it isn’t, what *is*, then?
Do you know Hawkins’ book?
Jan 11th, 2008
Albert
Hey there
Hmm…I do have some ideas about it, but then again as they always say, words can only point towards the truth, and never be it. I also lack the direct experience of it, so I don’t feel qualified to share my thoughts. In the end, I think all concepts will have to be dropped anyway.
Yes I have read Hawkin’s book. Some parts I really enjoy, but some parts alienate me a bit. I can’t really remember though, it’s been a while since I read it.
Jan 11th, 2008
Jason
Hi Albert,
Largely echoing what everyone has already said, I want to commend you on a wonderful post. It’s a very interesting viewpoint and one that is conducive to “allowing” inner peace and welcoming success, so to speak.
If this has already been discussed, I apologize. My question is this -
Given how hard it is to change one’s mindset in this capacity, what particular action steps do you recommend to facilitate the process? This almost requires a complete retraining of the subconscious, does it not?
Keep up the great writing!
Kind Regards,
Jason Harrington
The Intelligent Warrior
http://www.liveloaded.com/
Jan 16th, 2008
Albert
Thank you Jason for the compliment
I personally feel the emotion of resistance, frustration, etc, fully, through the body. Feeling it fully helps in letting it go. Depending on the source of your frustration though, it might take a while, but the results are definitely worth it.
This is the basis of my emotional mastery series:
http://www.urbanmonk.net/85/th.....at-simple/
Thanks for stopping by, mate, glad to have you here.
Jan 16th, 2008
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