What is one’s passion? What is one’s purpose in life, and how do we find it?
A human being without purpose is like a leaf, tossed and turned about on the winds, going wherever fortune wants to take it. What can it do? Go east, says the wind, and so the leaf goes. Go west, says the wind, and the leaf follows. And there’s nothing wrong with that, I believe, if that is the way you want to live your life. Let the wind take you on a grand romantic adventure, never knowing what the new day will bring you.
Still, for many – a passion, a purpose in life, is something they search for. For many, a purpose brings power and confidence. The leaf is now an arrow – the rain and the storms might knock it off course, but it is still flying.
A recent trend in emails and comments come from readers who wanted to know – how do I find my purpose in life? And the simple answer is: you know the answer better than I do. I can’t tell anyone how to live life; all I can offer is a few random, perhaps contradicting or unconnected, thoughts. Are these thoughts right or wrong? Please decide for yourself, all I can hope for is for them to stimulate your own thoughts and search.
This post is deeply entwined with an old series on Aristotle; updated with new information and perspectives.
A quote, by Alexander Hamilton, springs to mind immediately:
“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.”
I don’t know how it was intended to be read; but I have seen this in my own life: without a purpose, I was a follower. I followed the path of fear, the path of least resistance. Whatever others did, I followed. When I found purpose, I found courage.
Be a follower; there is nothing wrong with that – if it makes you happy. But being a follower made me weak and unhappy. And it was a vicious cycle, for I felt so weak I could not find the courage to break out of it.
Find courage to make your own path. It might not come immediately, but seek it. Your life is your own. Your purpose is defined by you. Society sees success as being rich, young, attractive, and famous – and so we think our purpose has to revolve around achieving all that. But is it?
Whatever you think it is, seek it, but make it your own. This is not to say, do not take the counsel of the wise, or to ignore those who depend on you. But purpose and happiness has to be your own. They are not you; they do not have your past, your skills, your uniqueness – no one can tell you what it is.
Courage can come in many ways. My favourite method comes from emotional work, purging your fears and insecurities; another powerful method comes from mental work, modern cognitive behavioural therapy
And you’ll find that a journey into courage is another cycle, this time in an upwards direction. As you work on yourself, you naturally begin to take steps in the direction you want to go. And the steps you take will raise your courage even further. When you meet an obstruction, do you let it weaken you, or do you take it as an opportunity to rise even higher?
Obstacles are part of the play. Enjoy the hunt; enjoy the process; enjoy the striving. Take both the ups and the downs, for both are inextricably tied together, in the same way that day and night are part of one totality. There will be nothing worthwhile that will not be met with adversity; an inner acceptance of this fact will allow you to meet it calmly and powerfully. Thinking otherwise – believing that your path will always be unobstructed – causes unnecessary suffering.
Further reading: Surrender and Joy in the Pursuit of Excellence.
For many, their purpose eventually leads back to one thing. What is behind all that we seek? Finding riches, helping others, even the desire to have a purpose itself – what is the driving force behind that? Happiness.
It can be hard to see how happiness is behind much if not all of our urges. Follow this train of thought for your own goals; I’ll use riches as an example: I want lots of money. Why? Because I was denied it in my childhood. So once you get it, what will you do? Buy lots of things. Why? What will you feel? Content. Happiness.
This is why I believe that no discussion of purpose can be complete without touching on the topic of happiness.
It is possible that a man without a purpose, a woman without a passion, can nonetheless live a happy life. But it is equally likely that the same person will fall into unhappiness and purposelessness; buffeted by conflicting advice, role models, demands, wants, and needs.
Your parents want you to be this, your lover wants you to be that, yet you need something else, and you don’t have enough time or money. You look at the billionaires or the Hollywood stars and think that they have success; perhaps if you were more like them you would finally be content. So many directions you are being pulled in – which do you choose? How do you achieve anything when your resources are scattered?
Without a definite purpose, you will be dragged into many false beliefs, models of living life, often given by those who have not found their own.
In Happier
Eternal delayed gratification: work now, and perhaps, just perhaps, enjoy later. The rat racer is eternally looking forward to something in the future to make him happy. He is always gritting his teeth, putting up with unhappiness, in search of something in the future. Always, he thinks – I will be happy once I get something. Just wait.
But the wait never ends. From the first grade, to high school, to college, to the job, to the promotion; it is an endless waiting.
There are times delayed gratification is important – sometimes we just have to sit down and do the taxes instead of spending time with our loved ones – but taken to an extreme, the danger is clear.
The hedonist is always seeking pleasure now, at the expense of everything else. She would prefer to spend her last dollars on a good night out, leaving the overdue electricity bill unpaid. Let the dishes pile up; leave the house dirty – she would rather watch television. Smoke now, and worry about the cancer when it comes.
There is nothing wrong with the occasional spell of self-indulgence – in fact it is revitalising – but again the problems are clear if taken to an extreme. I spent much of my younger days chasing pleasure above everything else, and in many ways I’m still paying the price for it.
Having thought about – or tried – the previous two ways of life and finding they don’t hold up for long, a nihilist is one who has given up. She thinks there is no path towards joy and so falls into helplessness and despair. At more extreme levels, this will probably lead to depression and other such conditions.
“Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
~ Confucius
The final archetype, then, is what Ben-Shahar calls the happiness archetype. Transcending the either/or mindset of the first three, this archetype focuses on finding something you can do meaningfully and enjoy at the same time.
This model seems so simple, so basic, that many readers will scoff. “Who doesn’t know this?” they might ask. And yet I didn’t, or perhaps I didn’t have the courage to follow this model, until I began all my inner work. Until that time, I had followed what everyone else had said: work and toil – unhappily, if you must – to gain resources for play. A work and a purpose I loved seemed like a distant dream, a remnant from my childhood; no different from the costumed superheroes and fantastic adventures.
Just like the others, this archetype can be itself hurtful if taken too far. Believing in a purpose that will always bring you joy is unrealistic, and makes the tough times harder to get by. There will always be tasks you dislike; there will always be times you need to get away from it all. But for the overall purpose – find the courage to live a purpose that is both happy and fulfilling. It is definitely possible; Ben-Shahar goes as far as to call it the only way to happiness.
Further viewing: A video based on the teaching of Alan Watts, found at the end of A Touch of Greatness and Success.
If you are a rat racer, the basic structure of your thinking will be similar to this:
Once I have this, I will be content. Once I have done that, I will be satisfied. Once this person has done this, I will be happy.
But tomorrow never comes, for when it does, it will be now. I heard a story once: it told of a bar owner who came up with a brilliant marketing trick – he put up a poster on his walls, and it read: “Free beer tomorrow!”
But no one can ever collect on that offer, for tomorrow never comes. If we are waiting for something in the future to make us happy, then that is all we will get – a life of waiting.
Find happiness now and your dreams are likelier to be achieved. Angry, sad, anxious – how can you perform your tasks to your best ability?
Further reading: Surrender and Joy in the Pursuit of Excellence.
A similar aspect: a static purpose is another means of setting yourself up for failure. It is the rat race all over again: something that is dead, just another object to be gotten, to fill a bottomless pit – it will never satisfy you. If your purpose is to make a million dollars, and one day you get it, what then? The search, the unease, continues.
Many people have told me the same thing: They’ve gotten their perfect lover, they’ve gotten their fancy car, and they’ve gotten to the top of their company. But where is the promised land? Wasn’t that supposed to make them happy?
I had a reader once who didn’t believe that riches were not the end goal; so perhaps this could be easier explained on a smaller scale.
“What a hard day!” you think. “I need a beer.”
After a beer, you feel like a cigarette, after a cigarette, sex, after sex another cigarette, after the cigarette some food, then time runs out and you have to go to sleep, only to do it all again the next day. A brief period of this will be satisfying; an endless cycle will be meaningless. I have lived this life for a few years; it felt like a golden prison.
Always there is a background unease – What next? What next? What next? The want is endless; it is structural – what you want changes, but the want is always there.
Make your purpose dynamic: seek to write rather than be a famous writer, seek to sing rather than be a famous singer.
Further reading: Dynamic Goals, Aristotle Part 4.
The question remains, then. How do we find our purpose? I believe we already know, somewhere in the back of our heads. It has just been obscured by our fears, our wanting of approval, the conflicting advice from society, our teachers, parents, television – all these forces, pulling us in all these directions!
Once we find our purpose, everything else begins to into place. Find your purpose, and create burning desire for it. Not just any desire – one that overwhelms you and consumes you. Everything else will come. Once you find it – you will find that courage will develop. Assertiveness will come. This fire will give a reason to stand up when you are knocked to the ground; when you suffer setbacks, it allows you to persist and hold to your faith.
Without purpose, how easy it is to simply stay fallen!
What is your purpose? Only you know.
An entire post on finding it: Finding Bliss. Success. Love. Aristotle Part 1.
I’m running out of link love to give, so this is just a quick note to my readers – thank you for sticking by me for the past fortnight despite a relative lack of updates. I needed a break, so much thanks to Loren for providing the recent guest post. It was high quality material, and I was proud to feature her.
I’m more or less back, so look out for more of my material! I’ll finish off this passion and purpose series, it got too big for one post, and then I’ll return to the “change your thoughts” series.
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Wow! Thanks so much for posting this. Unfortunately, I relate most to the Hedonist. Thankfully I’ve got the tools required to change things up in my life – this website being one of them. Awesome!
~T
Hey Al,
I have a mate whom I was talking to the other night about purpose and passion. He states that it is very important to know the reason for your purpose as well. I think knowing one’s purpose is great, but to have a reason for it gives one the impetus to really go get it. Not just that though, the reason has to be selfish. Saying that I want to be happy is not enough. Everyone wants that. But what exactly would lead to happiness is the key here. Hope that helps open up some discussion around here
Regards,
CY
@ Teresa: Thanks! That’s really high praise
@ Cyrano: That is a great addition. Agreed, it would be very interesting to see what the other readers think, thanks for opening up that line of discussion.
Hi Albert,
Great post. My purpose is to shed light.
A couple of processes for those who want instructions to follow.
1. Laddering. Choose doing something you love. Write three things you love about it. Then for each of these things ask: Why do I like this? Of the answer to this question ask: Why do I like this? Keep going until the answer is something like, “just because I do” or “because that’s just me”. Then finding something you hate to do and write down three things you hate about it. Then ask: Why do I hate this? And so on until you get to “just because I do”, or “because that’s just me”. When you find a way to group the six answers you will have a good clue to your purpose and passion.
2. Learning from projections. Take note of whatever grabs your interest. You can do this as you go through a day or week or just think on what has really gripped you in the past.
Define the attributes of all the things that have gripped you. You will find common themes. These will give clues to your purpose and passion.
I think I see Cy’s point. My guess is that while selfish the reason also links us to others. The reason gives its significance in terms of another – whether our ‘god’ or other people.
Thanks!
I was feeling listless, and after reading your post, I’m motivated to start tomorrow afresh.
Brilliant article for an early morning inspiring read before the wife and kids get up and turn my house into a whirlwind that never stops!
@ Evan: Thank you for that, as always, I appreciate your contributions, you really add value via the comments section.
@ JW: Thanks, I didn’t expect this post to have such a powerful effect
@ Tao: Cool name! Thank you as well
I haven’t been a long time reader but I’ve got to say this is the best post I’ve read here so far. Wonderful writing and opening mate.
The thing is, it’s not easy finding purpose and passion just as it isn’t easy finding success. If it was, everybody would be happy and satisfied. I don’t think those still trying to find their way realize the challenge. They mistake it as something quite easy and when nothing happens after a short while, they unfortunately allow negative thoughts to convince them that maybe it’s just something they’re not “born” with.
It takes time and effort but it’s certainly worth it.
Regards,
Amir
Hi, another great post.
Someone of you think that defeat anxitey could be
meant as a pourpose in life or i wrong?
Excellent write-up Albert… I wish you’d written this several years ago when I was trying to nail down some purpose
@ Amir: Thanks for the high praise mate
I agree completely – it can be difficult to follow your path, or even to know what it is. It’s a scary thing, especially when your purpose is not respected conventionally.
@ Scrab: Definitely. I believe purpose in life is not permanent; that it will change. If you suffer from anxiety, then most likely it holds you back in all other areas of your life, and there is nothing wrong with putting all your resources into overcoming it. You’ll often find that as you begin to overcome it, your purpose will begin to change to match it as well.
@ John: Thank you mate! A few years ago I was lost in the woods as well, hehe!
Hey,
In connection with Cyrano’s comment. The motive behind our purpose and passion is an interesting idea. However , if we’re searching for happiness,thats an internal state, arises from returning to our natural state , without needs and wants. In touch with Being.
All other purposes can be different. For a writer, it could be a need for acceptance of ideas, for a politician, a need to be of some value to others which could arise out of need for attention etc.
However real passion and purpose, is out natural talent. For every human has one talent or passion, that is uniquesly his, its his gift.
A way with words to touch hearts(for the writer), a mission to serve society(politician). etc. This is a burning and natural desire. What we can’t deny and what consumes us.
It is said, that the purpose of all mankind is evolution and to return to our states of Pure Being, or Oneness.
Hence we have the deeper purpose of releasing our negativity and letting stillness and Oneness emerge.
And our outer purpose of being true to our talent and serving others. For in the collective world, whatever work is done selflessly takes on another dimension. Albert, here for eg, often mentions how he stated off, with writing to help others, and make money. However he got so touched by people ’s response that to be of help become a greater motive.
Also becasue he touched people and effected their lives, blog like his and also other all activities, blogs etc who also reach out to others, gain success.
Ultimately , its about finding something that drives us and consumes, us in its every moment of action. Not the end goal but the process as well. Not to please others, not to gratify our ego but truly ‘be ourselves’,
Thank u , Evan for those tips and thanks Albert for this series. Looking forward to it .
Great article, Albert!
I think it’s important to recognize that our passion and purpose can be expressed in a multitude of ways. It’s not about a specific job or career – it’s about the energies we are allowed to express through that job or career. In many ways, this is similar to Cyrano’s comment about the motivation … just expressed in my “woo-woo” way!
I agree with Nur that our talents are easily expressed. Often, we are not aware of our true talents, because they are so easy for us. I’ll often point out to clients what their Soul is here for, and they will be surprised, because it is something that comes easily to them and brings them great joy. I think we have a tendency towards neglecting what comes naturally! There is definitely too much “no pain, no gain” mentality in our society.
Every Soul has a purpose. How we express that purpose is our choice, so that we can create our experience here.
By the way, I have a very nifty – and free – audio process on my website, specifically designed to assist in uncovering our Soul’s purpose. I hope it’s okay with you, Albert, to mention it … otherwise, feel free to edit the comment, of course! Here’s the link:
http://www.empoweredsoul.com/freemini.htm
Blessings,
Andrea
Great post – really enjoying this blog ! As a Hedonist turned Rat Racer, I am struggling to find that third path, and clear posts like this give another excellent starting point for such a journey.
Looking forward to more posts – but equally don’t mind mini-breaks between posts to absorb and reflect on the information. Some of my other favourite blogs can post too many times in a week, meaning I can’t read all the material !
I really enjoyed this post. Thank you.
Hey
for Albert. Used you as an example in my previous comment. Hope u don’t mind.
@ Nur: Hey there, thank you for the additional insights. I can’t think of anything else to add or contribute, that’s how awesome it is. No, I don’t mind being used as an example at all
@ Andrea: Haha, it’s not woo-woo at all. Aristotle called them virtues, you call them energies, I call them talents – same thing. Hehe. And not at all, link to all the resources you want, I’m 110% fine with it when it’s from you, which means it’s quality guaranteed.
@ Ben: Heh, I’m probably a rat racer turned hedonist / happiness mix. Thanks for the encouragement. I like some breaks in between posts too, I try to keep things to a post every 4-5 days, I think that’s a good balance for all the different readers I have and their preferences.
@ John: You’re welcome, I’m glad to have you here.
Hi Albert,
I’d like sharing the quote I recently found, and also shared in my blog…
A purpose that we all must have shared: purpose to work on our character, that’s why everyone must work on how they improve themselves, their character and personality. Another purpose that we must pursue our own way, the one that goes with our own strength, we are all different and unique. So be unique and be the best with your own uniqueness.
It’s not a matter of what you do but it’s a matter of who you are!
Great article.
Cheers,
Robert
Well well! What a fitting post to wake up to this morning:)……..Having recently lost both jobs due to extreme trauma , as well as deep rooted family issues confronting me- your post was great! I seem to have the Nihilist thing going on at the moment. I used to be a Rat Racer! I know my de-motivation will pass, but it’s something that I now allow to happen instead of forcing. One thing I have found is that to push oneself is sometimes counterproductive, it almost ends up in pushing oneself into further quagmire! Some suggestions (that I have put on the back burner and am now starting to understand and implement) I have had from counselling are- let it happen, don’t force the healing, don’t be too impatient to get back to your old life, experience the process and learn from it . I gotta say, it works for me at this time. I actually woke up the other morning with a BEAUTIFUL feeling of calm and contentment and connectedness , having made the decision the night before that some things I cannot change and that to trust my instincts will serve me well. I know I am in the process of finding my passion and purpose in life again……and your latest post was just great and actually got me through the day with a bit more bounce in my step:)….Soul food! Many thanks:)
I found my purpose about a year and a half ago… I was certain to make it a purpose that I could change as the situation changes, but stable enough that if I ever fell into doubt, I could fall back on it.
It was a tough choice, and took many hours of contemplating spread across nearly a month. Looking back, I didn’t spend nearly enough time searching, although I am still quite happy with the choice that I made.
In regards to Cyrano’s recommendation that we find a selfish means of finding motivation behind our purpose, I can most certainly think of selfish reasons. I have learned that a unit that I used to work with while I was in the Army was deployed to a war zone. I don’t want to worry about those people, so by accomplishing my purpose, I can ease that worry.
My purpose is to bring peace. It can be personal, inner peace, or political peace as in the opposite of war.
Some people believe you need a purpose, a drive a focus to orient your choices throughout your life. This is a perspective. Another point of view is that you can savor each choice, each experience and discern that each thing you do contributes to an ever-changing sense of purpose.
Hello Albert, you are right…it is hard to advise others how or what their true purpose is. Then again, telling them that the answer lies within, while true, is also not easy to grasp.
I’ve been through it all. Searching for that purpose and wondering how. Using both my left and right brains, reading, meditating, being in the Now, discussing with my spouse and sometimes, trying to force out an answer in desperation….what a journey!!
But it is a well worth journey to make. For in knowing the purpose, can my mind become clear. There is less wavering like the leaf in the wind.
Great post! I enjoyed it tremendously and am giving it the thumbs up with social bookmarking!
With love and appreciation,
Evelyn
Everyone, thank you for your comments. Apologies for the delay in the reply, I have not had a chance to sit at the computer for quite a while now.
@ Robert: Thanks for that quote, I agree with it completely. As they say, the chain is only as strong as the weakest link in it, so by focusing on one’s weaknesses we are improving everything else as well.
@ Natalya: Thank you for sharing a very personal story! It takes a lot of courage, and I know you will get through the nihilism. Maybe you can give the emotional mastery series a shot, it might help. I think everything happens for a purpose, it’s just a matter of whether we learn from it or not, so you’ve definitely got the right idea there
@ Adam: Bringing peace is the best I’ve heard yet, no exaggeration. I do believe inner peace is probably the starting point, what do you think? Without inner peace, everything we do can quite possibly be contaminated.
@ Liara: Beautiful point.
I think our purpose can be split into external and internal, and the external is not permanent. As you say, learning to savor each external experience is the internal purpose, and that never changes.
@ Evelyn: Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I could be wrong – the answer probably does lie within, but it can sometimes be a long or scary journey to find it. Developing courage is probably the only thing I can think of to suggest, based on my own life. Everything else begins to fall into place. Thank you again for your support.
The images you incorporate into your posts remind me how wonderful it is to enter doorways into infinite dimensions. Thanks for opening another…
Hehe, thank you Liara!
Great post Albert.
My passion and purpose is to experience life as fully and deeply as possible. Live in the moment and take each experience for the unique thing that it is, but also have the drive and passion to manifest my vision of the way things should be.
Hey Steve! That is a wonderful purpose – I do think Eckhart Tolle mentioned that we have to separate inner and outer purpose. Without inner purpose – which is exactly what you’ve defined for yourself – outer purpose ultimately crumbles. So wow your purpose is spot-on.
I think our passion is found only AFTER we find our purpose.
We often wonder what purpose we are here for.
We ask the God within us for guidance and too often don’t listen for lthe answer.
The reason Passion comes after finding purpose, is because after understanding purpose, we find the road to it.
Only in defining and following that road can we become passionate .
Tommy
God is my way. He is my purpose and inspire. Human may win the thing but for the life purpose God is the only way. Seeking him you will find.
Thank you Tommy! You’re right, I think the two are intertwined – find something you want to do, and then find passion for it – and only then does it become a purpose.
Albert,
Another stellar article! I would only add that to find your purpose, it is worthwhile to do research. Read the words of the wise, and those who have had success. It pays to heed the words of those with long experience. And of course, what am I going to say is the ultimate purpose? The Spiritual Quest, what else?
I wanted also to congratulate you on having 2000 subscribers the other day.
Thank you Reddy (for the congratulations too)! Yes I do believe the spiritual quest takes precedence too, hehe. We think so much alike.
I’m so sorry, to bring a downer, but ive just gone to the first post I could just so I remember what I was imediatly thinking!…..im wanting to take hold of my feelings ( as u said in some of my previous readings?) LOL im now lost and confused as to why i was writing because ive tried to go through so many of my feelings and have had things interupted by my own thoughts…. if that makes sence ?
I do know that what I have read so far as helped me so much (you may never know how much But ”thankyou” , it has taken me out of maybe the worst depresion I have ever been through! I want to deal with this and realise I have been selfish I find meditating so V Hard.
Hi Jo! No need to apologise, I love having your comments here. I’m a bit lost as to what you are asking / trying to say, but let me just say that meditating and fixing your own sorrows is not selfish at all. In fact I believe it is the only way to spread happiness and joy to others – is to find it yourself. You can’t give what you don’t have. So first find your own happiness, and then like a glass that overflows with wine, you’ll naturally begin spreading it to others. Meditation can be hard, but stick with it, and make it a relaxing activity instead of a task you have to tackle. Hope that helps
I feel so very fortunate to have found your site, Albert. It is truly what I have been searching for. This article in particular is a topic I struggle with. I don’t know what my purpose is, my reason for being here. I haven’t a clue as to what my true talent is. I feel as though time is running out.
Hey there Anam – thank you for those words, very high praise. I hope my article has helped, and well… let me say that time is never wasted. This is going off into a philosophical discussion, but we’re all doing exactly what we are here to do – nothing is ever wasted.
That’s what I believe anyway. Do read the Greatness and Success posts for a little bit more of what I mean by that.
Hi Albert & thanks for the quick reply. I think I can be a little clearer on what I need assistance with.
I entered this life time on earth for a reason…I needed to experience/learn/work on particular things to become more “enlightened”? So I’m thinking I chose particular experiences to have that would get me closer to this goal. That is what I want to know..what am I, in particular, here for? What do I need to learn? A particular experience? If so, how do I find out what that is?
Is everyone’s Life Purpose the same really? Enlightenment?
Thanks again. I’m off to read what you suggested.
With warm regards,
<3 Anam
I think i used to be a rat racer, until a self-help tape gave some valuable advice to enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination.
I think i will need to try to follow the advice of focusing on finding something that i can do meaningfully and enjoy at the same time.
Hello,
Thanks for your site and its contributions to the public.
Just adding my thoughts on this very common topic.
In the majority of situations, teachers and students almost always approach this problem via “How Do I FIND My Purpose?”
In my opinion and from observations, one of the best statements to solve this for yourselves:
“Many people attempt to FIND their purpose in Life and are often unsuccessful. But those who go out and CREATE their purpose in Life, very often do.”
–kEN
That is a beautiful way of putting it Ken – thanks.
Boy have I found the right site to be a part of. I have been struggling to find my purpose – I am at the hedonist growing toward the nihilist. I ned to take time to review the recommended reading. I hopes this takes me off the edge.
Hey Veronica – thank you for your kind words. Hope my further ramblings help!
This is a very beautiful article Albert! If it’s ok with you, I’d like to feature this in my site and share this to my friends. It’s so nice to see people who give honest knowledge and awareness to others. You’re great!
Hi Menandro, please go right ahead and share this. I appreciate your kind words too
Hi Albert,
I used to be in the rat race, long working hours. I have given it all up since 1.5 years ago. I have been searching for my purpose in life. But I havent found it. Reading your article strengthens my resolve not to give, to continue with my search. Yes, I believe too that the answer is within me …
Metta,
Yan
Yan, metta in return. Thank you for your comment.
good. u have stated the things which exactly I was thinking Of
Thank you sandeep!
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