Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Paula Kawal of Journey Inward Productions. Thanks Paula!
During a recent meditation I received a beautiful message from my Higher Self that was the inspiration for writing this post that I had been playing with putting together for some time. I had been standing with her by the ocean, which is spiritually very sacred to me. We gazed out over the water together, breathing in the energy, sitting silently listening to the voice of the waves and the wind.
She turned to me suddenly at the height of this experience and said, “Do you know what it is about the ocean that you are connecting with?” I began to go inside and reflect when she directed my gaze by saying, “Look out onto the horizon and bring it all inside of you.” She paused for a moment and said softly, “It is not the water you love, it is the vastness…what would the water be without the horizon? What would this grandeur and beauty be without the space through which you can behold it? Understand that it is the space that you love and bring spaciousness into everything you do.”
The moment it was said, it rang true. The ocean which runs as far as the eye can see is vast, any object on it’s surface is clearly visible. Visually, it is a clean and clear landscape to behold and just by watching it, it begins to create similar properties within me. I organize myself internally to reflect its natural state…my thinking clears, my mind empties, oneness and spaciousness enter and I feel the separation melt away. I am consciousness, flowing, breathing, contracting and releasing without attachment.
Creating space in life is a necessity. Especially when you consider that we can only successfully track 5-7 things, in our conscious awareness at a time. When we hold on to more than that the rest of the stuff gets pushed into our unconscious mind and this is how many of our unconscious patterns are born.
If you are on the path of personal development, you want to consciously control what is added to your unconscious mind. To do that you have to be mindful of your thoughts and maintain a level of spaciousness within your thinking. Here are some quick and easy ways of doing this that you can use throughout your day:
Many of us run laundry lists of all the things we have to do on a continual loop within our minds. This takes up an enormous amount of space and energy to maintain! Write it down if you think you might forget and then allow you mind to only focus on the step that you can do right now. When that passes, move on to the next in the same order.
Pause every 15 minutes to half an hour and perform patterned breathing. The count can be anything you’d like, just make sure it follows an inhale, pause, exhale execution. Put your full concentration on what each part of the breath feels like. Perform the breathing patterns 3-5 times, and then continue on to the next thing.
Stop and listen to your surroundings. Breathe deeply, while closing your eyes and listening with your full attention for about 2 minutes. Allow no censorship or thoughts about what you hear to come into your mind. Simply be with the sensations, texture and nuances of the sounds. Notice the vibrational quality to them and where in your body you can feel reverberations.
This is one of my favorite little exercises in which I visualize giving my mind to something in my immediate environment (the airport is a great place for this). For some of you this may seem like a strange concept, but trust me. This is great fun once you get over the initial strange feeling and it’s a wonderful way to unload from the burden of non-stop thought for awhile!
In coaching, space is the foundation upon which all effective coaching techniques are built and when coaching isn’t working, it almost always comes down to the coaches mastery of this core skill. It works because it is one of the purest ways that we can interact with anyone or thing.
When I hold space for a client, I create a sacred field of connectedness and acceptance for them to work in. This is done by literally taking off my own views and filters of the world and entering a pure state of consciousness, where I am fully present and able to respond, where I am listening to what is said, and hearing what has not yet been uttered. From this place I can see very clearly what the client is attending to as well as what lies in the background outside of their vision. It is the quality of this attention, that provides insight and safety and makes coaching such an effective tool.
Holding space however, is not limited to coaching in it’s usefulness. It’s a way of being that can greatly enhance any aspect of life that it is applied to, since nearly all of life, is some form of relating 
You are holding space when there are no distractions and the mind is quiet while the senses are awake. You’ll know you are there because you can be with a person or place without any planning about what you will do or say, or any trying to “figure things out”. There is a trust present as well as an observing curiosity. It is a safe, peaceful place…where anything can be looked at and transformed!
Practice holding space every day and you will be able to produce this state whenever you want to disconnect from looping thought patterns, limitation, dis-ease, resistance or anything else that is troubling you and tap into a new way of being with your problems and therefore discovering what is actually possible for you or anyone else
I’m an adventurous spiritual seeker/healer devoted to my personal relationship with Source the Archangels, my Ascended Masters and Guides – they are my most personal and honest friends – they are precious beings of Light that keep me growing and unraveling illusion while becoming ever more aware of and aligned with the Divine energies that awaken us and take up residence within our hearts. This relationship with myself and my spiritual guidance has blossomed into a website in which I write articles to share my learnings as well as perform readings and healings for others on the path. I absolutely LOVE WHAT I DO! I LOVE the AHA’s…I LOVE this human experience and I really get just how LOVED we are by Source. So come join me in the adventure – I’ll be here – shouting out to Source from the mountaintops, inviting my spirit to co-create this life experience and adding just for punch – Bring it on!!!
Paula’s website can be found at: Journey Inwards Productions
Thank you Paula for that post. I’d like to give some background on this post – Paula kindly gave me a coaching session once, and she was magical. The phone session we did really took me right into the core of some issues I had been struggling with. When we discussed it afterwards, she told me about “holding space” – one of the things she did that allowed me to really go deep during the phone session. And she agreed to let out how she did it in this guest post. So I would highly recommend that you try this, either for yourself, or even better if you are a practitioner of the healing arts.
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Thanks for sharing about holding space for our clients. I’d agree that it is important to hold space so that we can build a pure connection with them. Our own perceptions of things and egos can cloud our effectiveness and that is what we do not want. I find that taking a moment or two in quiet meditation helps prior to talking to someone in need of assistance.
Hi Paula,
It was just last week when I spoke to someone about an innate ability to create what I call sacred space. So your post was not only lovely but timely. It is respectful, wonderful and honoring when one can hold space for another.
This is helpful. I’ve been advised (by a coach, actually) to “hold the space” in a given situation and I had no idea what that looked like. My mental chatter typically gets the best of me and I angst out.
Also, can your guides ask my guides to speak up a little??!!
While I am a therapist/counsellor rather than a coach, and I am not in contact with any guides, that description of holding a space for a client was incredibly exact and describes just what happens when therapy is working. Many thanks for bringing it into the spotlight for me, Paula!
This is a very interesting article. I find that, to have discipline and continue to focus on just one thing at a time, I maintain a couple of “parking lot” lists. One is for just the day-to-day chores like pick up dry cleaning, or return library books. The other is for big picture problems I’m trying to solve, like new business ideas or involved work projects. Once things are on the list, I can stop obsessing about them because I know they won’t be forgotten.
Ross
Gluten Free Food
Vety cool article.
It reminds me that I have to start meditating again and to lower my day to day pace which is pretty fast these days.
Thank you for the article
Very insightful article. These days things seem to move fast for me and this was the perfect article to come across.
Hey Paula +_+
Spaciousness is a beautiful state of mind. What could be more soothing than the warmth of spaciousness.
Your posts are most appreciated…
Paula – what a beautiful post!
…indeed the vastness, the infinite possibilities, the space….
Those things are so precious and so important and there are so many who crave for them deeply.
Hi Evelyn,
I always meditate before doing any reading, healing or coaching work. The meditation I perform calls in the Archangels, Source, the Ascended Masters as well as my Higher Self. I love doing this as it sets my intent perfectly for the session, clears my energy while at the same time maintains my focus on the Highest Good of my client! Definitely recommend this for anyone in the healing profession
Hi Barbara,
For me holding space is the very definition of namaste. Thank you for mentioning the word respect here – when we get to a certain level of growth we no longer have the luxury of looking at each other as anything other than extraordinary!
Hi Carolyn,
I’m so excited that I could help you picture what “holding space” looks like. One of my favorite meditation teachers used to say that the mind is like a dog with a bone, if you give it something to do it will go lie down content in the corner for awhile. I found this very helpful because I started meditation trying to get to no mind – but wasn’t successful until I started giving my mind something to do
So first break the mind patterns through complete concentration on your breathing – make it hard – like inhaling for 6, pause for 6 and exhale for 10 – make sure it is hard enough to make you concentrate. When you finish give your mind the task of creating a gold circle or a blue triangle or an apple – and keep breathing and noticing. You SO made my Guides smile with that last part 
Hi Sarah,
I was once told by a Guide to be the tool – I think every healer intuitively recognizes when they are doing this, even if they are not sure what they did to produce it – it really excites me to think of people out there consciously knowing how
Hi Ross,
How about taking your lists one step further and making one for you to complete and one for the Universe? Now this could be very interesting!
Hi Bonsott,
Oh, your Spirit is thanking you already
I’m so excited that you are considering slowing down and taking up meditation again!
Hi Bobby,
Love the timing – my gratitude goes out to the spiritual guidance that brought you here!
Hi Axel,
Thanks so much – and I’m so glad you mentioned warmth – “holding space” could equally be called “feeling alive”!
Hi Evita,
The best stuff in life is absolutely totally free – when I was a youngster we were homeless for a time – and during this period when I lived like a nomad – roaming from place to place and exploring space – I felt and knew myself to be one of the richest people on earth
Love and angel blessings to you all,
PK
hei paula. its naice post i will visit again
Evelyn,
A very good post… to me it made me think that a meditative state should not be limited to special occasions; a clear, clean, and focused mind is helpful (and/or necessary) in day to day professional interactions as well… but easy to neglect.
One thing that was very new to me was the idea of “putting your mind down”; can you give a little more detail about that? I tried, based on the brief description above, and there was definitely an “initial strange feeling”! But maybe I was doing it wrong
Hi Gilagratisan,
Nice to hear from you – I hope you venture back many times
Hey Almost Enlightened,
I am glad you enjoyed it and yes a clean, clear mind within every interaction is the very essence of consciousness!
To elaborate on the process of “putting down your mind” I’ll go back to the airport analogy.
When I am in the airport I like to assign an exotic locale to one of the planes preparing for take off – I might pick the Bahamas or Paris or New Zealand for that matter – the only requirement is that it is someplace that I’d love to go to.
Then I place my hands along the side of my head and literally (like a mime) take my mind out and place it onto the image before me – transferring the mind in my hands to the plane ready to take off.
I tell my mind that it is going on a fabulous vacation without me and that I want it to have a lot of fun and report back everything it did on it’s trip. Then I watch the plane take off and enjoy the space and simple observing absent of thought activity.
When I feel I’ve had enough time I designate the next incoming flight for it’s return and after the plane rolls in I again with my hands take my mind off the plane and return it to it’s usual place within my head.
I ask it about it’s trip which it describes very briefly before succumbing to that bliss filled – I had way too much fun on vacation to talk about it state.
It is very refreshing – even if it does feel a little odd at first!
Angel blessings and love to you both,
PK
Paula, I am so glad that you went into more detail about taking your mind out on vacation. I wasn’t sure exactly what you meant in the beginning.
A few years ago, I found myself in a small group of healers. We were in a circle when my inner voice told me that my job was to just hold the space so that the others could do the actual healing work. I intuitively knew to extend a field of light around the group and just be in the moment. I use this technique quite a bit in working with groups of people. Thanks for talking about it.
Can I be the space for this?
That was the question also brought up by Eckhart Tolle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lx526pO9UV0) regarding the space in daily decision-making and dealing with crisis.
GREAT post and site; I enjoyed reading through it!
Jesse W.
http://www.subprimeblogger.com
PK,
Thanks for the additional details. That seems like a very strong example of using NLP-style visualization towards a Power of Now goal. Your setup was much kinder than my first attempt, which was to just throw my mind into an empty soda can on my desk, w/ no ceremony — yikes!
I think the vacation atmosphere you used is a big deal. One problem I had w/ Power of Now was how hostile Tolle was towards “mind”; he used analogies like “wild animal” and “dog gnawing on a bone”, etc.
Perhaps because of those suggestions from the book, I had some bad nightmares in which visual metaphors of ‘mind’ were trying to fight there way back into my space, after working with some of the ideas in the book. I like your style better
Hi Paula,
A To Do list for the universe is an interesting idea. I use a personal To Do list to put order and structure to all the various things competing for my attention and time, so that I can focus on one or two at a time and not be distracted/made anxious by all the others.
What would a To Do list for the universe accomplish?
Best,
Ross
Gluten Free Food
Hi Patricia,
You’re welcome for explaining – and of course my thanks go out to “Almost Enlightened” as well for asking and to Albert for inviting me to be a guest author!
Holding the space in groups is hugely important and something that spiritual gatherings often spontaneously produce in participants as the vibration of the group rises collectively during the process
I have a couple of gatherings I go to regularly in which I’ve channeled so much energy during the course of the day that my seventh chakra expands nearly every time I go – group “holding space” practice is a wonderful way to grow!
Hi Mykro,
It is a good question isn’t it? When we are in space we are a part of the larger system – without space we are a small particle left on it’s own to struggle and survive. There is a great security provided when we merge with space as we are larger than any situation we may encounter from this infinite perspective that surrounds everything.
What Eckhart is teaching here is very NLP! You take whatever seems like a big deal to you and you make it smaller by associating your consciousness with something that is even bigger
Hi Jesse W.,
I will answer for myself and a little for Albert as well by saying we are glad you dropped by and hope you visit often!
Hi Almost Enlightened,
Wow…you totally picked up on my NLP training! Yes, I always make it a point to be friendly to my mind and create something that it wants to engage with and I use this perspective with my clients as well.
In general, we have been unfair to the mind. We have allowed a child to play with something that is not age appropriate – and then we are surprised by it’s tantrums when we try to take away this awesome plaything!!!
Being the mother of two – I’ve taken alternative approaches to creating a relationship with my mind and discovered that it responds best to loving and compassionate guidance.
The mind needs us to provide a structure – so that it knows what we want and that we expect it to adhere to a specific behavior. It basically needs to know the rules so that it can follow them and of course – just like dealing with children – in order to be successful we have to be consistent. It WILL test us until we’ve proven that these are the rules and they aren’t going to change!
This is what meditation is all about – it’s a training camp or school for structuring the behavior you want from your mind. The relationship we create with our structured mind is extremely beautiful, highly beneficial and very rewarding
Hi Ross,
The list for the Universe is your personal list for “letting go and letting God”. This is where you put the things that are competing for your attention that you need to release – things that are beyond your immediate control but are on your mind none the less. As you get more accomplished – you’ll start delegating stuff to the Universe – after all, why do everything by yourself when you have a really resourceful team available and ready to help you
It’s a pretty awesome feeling – especially if when the amount of stuff you have to accomplish seems big or overwhelming! Again – associate your consciousness with something bigger and it all falls into a perspective that is easier to work with!
Love and angel blessings to you all!
PK
I love the idea of learning to reframe the space you perceive. After all, it is exhilarating to expand a sense of who we are and what we could do with all that untapped potential.
Thanks for sharing.
So glad to have discovered this article. I continually remind myself of these concepts.
This is really good advice, and something I need to pay more attention to in my own life. I have a tendency to take on too many projects at once, and I end up feeling cramped inside myself.
Its really good to know the about how the life of the human to be..Thanks for making a blog on this..I like it.
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