Broken hearts are excruciatingly painful. I guess if you’re reading this you would know. Men in particular suffer more; people think we shouldn’t suffer from broken hearts. This makes us try to repress it, and that hurts even more. Women are open with their emotions and their crying; it helps them heal much faster.

A quick search in Google shows millions of sites dealing with this topic; most of the advice is well intentioned but can be simply summed up as “cry, and ride it out until it stops hurting.” That’s not the best way to get over a broken heart; that could take months or years. I want to share something a bit different. Let’s get proactive.

This is a meditation that I had used to get over heartbreak. If you’ve read my “About” page, you’ll realise that heartbreak is my major weakness. I went into depression twice over it. And I’ve tried many things to get over it. This is one of the best.

This is one of the first posts on this blog that is a bit more “out there”, but don’t let it put you off. As I promised, I will only write about what has worked for me. So give it a try.

Let’s begin!

Note: I’ve left some parts vague until the end. There is a reason for this. Read the five steps, and practise it, before coming back to read the rest.

1) As with all meditations, get somewhere quiet and comfortable. You should be alone for this one, so no-one can disturb you. You might also have some repressed emotions that you need to let out, and having people around might hold you back.

2) Relax your body. Imagine a white ray of light going through your body from the head to the toe. Relax each part the light touches. Once the light hits your feet, move it back up to the head and relax each muscle again; you’ll be surprised at how much tension there might be left after one pass.

3) Imagine you are walking down a path. In the distance you see a huge castle. This is where your heart rests, on a pedestal. Walk towards it until you reach the castle doors.

4) Open the castle doors. What does the room look like? What condition is your heart in?

5) Heal your heart. Imagine yourself walking towards the heart. Imagine using light and love to heal the heart, and watch it return to normal. Take as much time as you need for this part.

And that’s all there is to it. Go and try it now. You might have some questions: what does the heart look like? How do I use love to heal it? But I strongly suggest you try the meditation first - it only takes minutes.

Welcome back

Now, why didn’t I put in more details in the 5 steps? I didn’t want you to have preconceptions. It is vital that your personal imagery is individualised and not some image that I have planted in your head.

Let me explain. When I first tried this meditation, the description I read was “Is your heart in chains? Then unlock it.” That image stuck in my head, and although I unlocked my heart, I got no benefit.

Why? My heart wasn’t locked up. What it felt was crushed and spat on. So I tried again; this time I cleared my head, and opened the castle doors and let an image form naturally. All I knew was that my heart was in there.

It took a while but I eventually saw the way it truly was. It had fallen off its pedestal. The throne room was a mess, like an earthquake had happened. Pillars had fallen around it and the biggest pillar had crushed it, leaving only half of it visible.

I imagined myself lifting the fallen pillars with my superhuman strength. Then I imagined my hands being full of light and love, and began slowly stroking my heart. Slowly it regained its shape, like a deflated heart-shaped balloon being filled with air. By the way, it’s OK if you have a cartoon-y image, just as long as it’s true to yourself.

Then I cleaned off the little scratches and nicks in the same way. Next I polished it until it shone again, and put it back unto the pedestal. I felt better immediately. I repeated it every night before I went to sleep. The second night it had fallen off again but the rocks crushing it were smaller, and it required less work to heal.

Now, I have no idea where this image came from; but by letting it come naturally, it was true to my circumstances. So: Let the image come. It will be the best for you, and that’s how you get the most benefit out of it.

Hope this has helped.