Imagine being a rock in the turmoil of the world around you.
Imagine the power, the security, the peace, and the calm.
Is it reserved only for the highest spiritual masters? It might sound like it, but no. It is available to you now. The quote below hides the secret.
“When hot be thoroughly hot, when cold be thoroughly cold.”
I forgot where I read it, I don’t even know if I quoted it right. But over the years it’s stuck with me. Can you find the secret?
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Non-resistance. Earth-shattering, it might not seem, but read on.
Inner resistance disrupts peace.
Although this applies to everything that can happen in life, we’ll use something in the quote as an example
Extreme heat is something that makes many people uncomfortable and grumpy. Why?
The automatic reaction is to fight the heat. Turn the air-con on, take a shower. That’s fine. But what if you can’t? What if you have to sit in a boiling room for an hour?
Don’t fight it. Fighting it is what causes the discomfort. Telling yourself “I don’t want this; I wish I was somewhere else, I hate this feeling.”
This inner resistance is not your fault; it is simply an automatic response. This article will help you to recognise that habit, and help you break it.
What happens when you break it? If, in the middle of summer, you simply let yourself be hot, without complaining mentally or vocally, and simply feel the heat, won’t there be true peace?
To help explain, let me use myself as an example. I was searching for peace and happiness. It consumed me. But I went about it the wrong way. I tried to fix everything that made me unhappy on an individual basis.
Argument with my girlfriend? Hit the books and find a tactic to deal with it. That worked until a different problem came up. Then open the books again.
It didn’t work well. My core personality was still the same, and my peace was easily disturbed and fragile.
Then something happened that no Self-Help book can fix. Extreme heat.
It was in the middle of a 48 degree Celsius heatwave. I was stuck in the middle of an important evening class. The fan was on, but with 50 people in the room we were burning.
It made me grumpy and irritated. I couldn’t concentrate. My thoughts began drifting back to past hurts and memories, no matter what I tried to do. As the class continued my mood got worse and worse. The heat seemed to get more and more unbearable.
Why was this so? I was resisting the heat. I wanted to finish the class so I couldn’t leave.
Then I tried just letting myself be hot. There was no resistance to it.
I turned off my mind. I let myself stop thinking. I simply let myself feel the heat.
What does it feel like? A warm sensation on my skin. My skin was sticky. The air seemed heavy.
These sensations in themselves were not bad. They were only bad because I made them bad. No sensation in itself is good or bad, it is only your mind that makes it good or bad.
Why is being sweaty irritating? It was just a sensation, no different to the sensation of rolling around in the softest silk sheets. Only our mind makes the artificial distinction.
Turn the mind off. When it’s off, it can no longer make a story around the heat, and then what you are feeling just becomes a sensation. Without any resistance to it, it means nothing any more. In my meditation class, after a while, the heat actually became quite pleasant.
One way to switch your mind off is to feel everything. This doesn’t apply only to heat. Even if you are in the midst of a bad situation – someone is shouting at you, you just found out you went bankrupt – you can simply feel. Feel the sensation of your shirt on your skin. Feel the wind on your skin. Feel everything – use all your senses. But don’t attach any meaning – good or bad – to them.
That sound you are hearing isn’t good or bad in itself – you make it good or bad. That sound might be your favourite song, but it might drive someone else crazy. Just use your senses and don’t attach any meaning to anything.
Another tip is to feel your breath. Feel the breath as it enters your nose, as it moves down your throat, into your lungs. Feel it come out of your lungs and out of your nose again. You don’t have to purposely make your breaths deep if you do this; it will naturally become deep.
By focusing your mind on feeling, it can no longer think. Contrary to what we might think, the mind cannot do more than one thing at a time. Try it if you don’t believe me.
Once you turn your mind off, the emotions follow soon after. It’s like heating a soup on an oven – even if you turn the fire off, the soup remains hot for a while – it doesn’t cool down straight away.
Can you see how this might apply to many events that are happening in your life? Are you living in a house that you are unhappy with? Are you being stood up by your date? Is someone shouting at you? By letting go of inner resistance, you go with the flow, you roll with the punch, and you take away most of the pain.
Sleeping in a small house doesn’t feel that much different from sleeping in a huge mansion. Sitting alone at a café waiting for a date that never shows up feels no different from sitting at a café alone because you want to be alone. Someone shouting at you is no different from someone whispering sweet nothings in your ear. It might hurt your ego, it might hurt your pride, but who you are, your essential core being, is unaffected.
This principle appears in major philosophies worldwide, and in the works of many great thinkers. But most of them just don’t explain it. I don’t know why, perhaps it works better if you figure it out for yourself.
“The willow which bends to the tempest, often escapes better than the oak which resists it; and so in great calamities, it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner than those of a loftier character.” – Albert Schweitzer
This philosophy is not encouraging you to let yourself be abused, or anything of the sort. I’m talking about inner resistance, which is different from outer resistance.
For example, if someone is slapping you around, I’m not recommending you stand there and let them do it! Do something! Calling the police is not inner resistance, it’s not wrong. Get out of it!
If you are freezing to death, put a jacket on! If you are in the middle of a fire, non resistance won’t magically save you from being burnt to a crisp. Get out of it!
But once it is over, it is over. It doesn’t exist any more. Die to the past every moment. He or she is no longer abusing you; learn from your mistakes and never let it happen again.
If you are in a poor financial situation and you don’t like it, I’m not saying that you just be poor forever. If you like it, then more power to you. But if you don’t want to be poor, work on getting out of poverty. That is not inner resistance; that is growing.
But what if you get angry and upset, thinking about it over and again? That is inner resistance, and that is the cause of unhappiness.
When hot be thoroughly hot, when cold be thoroughly cold.
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31 Comments
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In my experience, when people stop resisting GOD, and agree to complete and unquestioning submission to His Will, they also find peace.
Oh, and they get to enjoy an afterlife of eternal servitude to Him in Heaven.
Something to think about!
Hi Matt, thanks for the comments!
Very well done post Urban Monk!
Thanks Shama, it really encourages me!
I really ejoyed this post. It made me think of that story of the man who sat there having tea while an earthquake was going on around him. For me it is just relearning over and over to bring myself to that reference point you so nicely explained. Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes not at all.
Thanks for that Ken. Glad it helped.
This philosophy is so simple, it’s genious. I live in a climate that gets extremely hot in the summer, and truly the best way to deal with it… and many other examples in life… is just to accept it. Be hot, be sticky, get dirty and sweaty… take a shower before bed. Voila!
Thanks Liz!
I loved this article. This seems to be such a basic truth, and so often overlooked! Our sensations become so enhanced by our mental projections.
You mentioned in the last section that ‘once something is over, it is over’. I’d be very interested to read an article on how this would apply to memories — especially memories which people consider ‘traumatic’ (and which often shape their everyday lives for the rest of their lives).
*admin note: Moved from old article to this one as I rewrote the article*
Hiya Kenton, thanks for commenting! Check out the forgiveness series for past memories!
You didn’t mention how the principle of inner reesistance and just go wiuth the flow of things relates to anger. How is a person is able to just let it [anger] go and just go with the flow of things if he or she is angry at someone. What if you can’t let it go and go with the anger instead because the person you’re angry at, does not desrve to be forgotten and the situation forgiven ? What does the angered person do instead ? How does one block out the negative feeling of anger ? By blocking out the thoughts ? How does one accomplish that ? That’s what I want to know ? You could have written additional material so that those of us who are angry could apply the principle of breaking inner resistance to our lives, to help us break the vicious cycle of violent thought that fuel our anger on a daily basis. In other words, you finished the discussion on this topic before you even started it.
Hi Carlos, thanks for commenting.
With Anger, it’s pretty much the same thing. The thoughts cause your anger. For example, if your anger is arising because your boss is shouting at you, it’s because your thoughts are saying “he shouldn’t shout at me.” So simply turn it off.
I have an anger specific post here:
http://www.urbanmonk.net/54/it.....ing-anger/
You are right I have neglected to put in HOW to turn off your thoughts. I’ll put that in right now. Thanks for reminding me.
Thank you for your incredible “common sense words” which we all have inside of us, but sometimes need a little guidance by hearing these truths to unblock our minds and move forward. I only began to really recognize my “self-awareness” in June of 2007. It has been a journey towards enlightenment and one which isn’t easy, but extremely rewarding. This blog and many of your other blogs are helping me to remember it is in me that these changes in my mind, heart and spirit can only be done by me.
Thank you kindly Amanda. Self awareness is amazing, isn’t it? I was re-reading some Eckhart Tolle last night, and he called it an act of grace, the most important event that has ever happened in one’s life.
Keep disidentifying from your thoughts and emotions (even the positive ones, which was a huge mistake I made), and returning your attention to the Now!
Blessings for the new year!
reply to Matt V…. i consider myself a Christian but im really interested in other religions like Buddhism for their lessons. I kinda guess the actions of corrupt men on religion have kinda tarnished my views, even though i still view my self as Christian and was raised catholic.Anyways to get to my point… i don’t like the idea of serving anyone in the afterlife…
I find that when tempers flare the heat goes up. So part of the secret of inner peace is to keep your cool when things go the wrong way. As the webmaster for a Christian hosting site, we have to be careful with our tempers when dealing with the public.
Your Christian Web host
Great Post, just wish I can actually follow some of your advice. Love your blog. I go through it everyday, just reading it gives me some release. Thanks Albert.
Thank you Anusha, that really encourages me
Super article!
One of the best on the net. Pretty much in line with the teachings of Stoic philosophers like Epictetus whom I try to follow.
Cheers from India.
Arnab, thank you for your kind words. It’s still a wonder to me that a small blog like mine can reach readers from all over the world.
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