How to harness the personal power of being egoless, Part 1
Athletes call it the Zone. Japanese martial artists call it Mushin. Zanshin. Fudoshin. These states become a Holy Grail for them; it boosts their performance past what they thought was impossible. Let’s discuss how you can harness it in all areas of your life – work, romance, and even playing.
Psychologists group these states under the umbrella of peak performance. They teach many techniques to achieve it; visualization and state control, among others. In this series, I’ll discuss the most important aspect – the removal of the “self” to tap the power that lies underneath, to become one with the action and your environment. Sounds like some ninja movie? Read on, grasshopper!
What the ego is
If you have read my first Ego post, you’ll know that your “self”, the ego, the personality, is made up of many things that you have mistaken for you. Your name, age, sex, occupation, habits, patterns, programming, and mannerisms are not you, they are merely about you. They cover up the true you. Many of the thoughts you have, that you focus on instead of sliding by, also cover your true self.
I’ll try to write this series so you can work with me without having read that post, as it is a huge 6000-word post, but it will help greatly if you have. If there’s anything that you want explanation on in this series, the answer will likely be in there, my favourite post so far. Plus, many people have emailed me and said it began the biggest shift in their lives, so give it a shot if you haven’t read it.
Depending on who you ask, there are two things you can do with the ego. Humanistic psychologists, from the well-established “third force” of psychology, recommend replacing negative aspects of the ego with positive ones. Transpersonal psychology, unofficially known as the “fourth force” of psychology, recommends the total removal of the ego. This series is about the removal – the next will be about replacement, so you can make an informed decision in your own growth.
It’s not some grand goal!
Let’s get into it. Firstly, you have to understand that bypassing the ego is nothing grand. It is not a momentous event, or reserved only for the special. We’ve all been there before. Have you ever done something, and you were so engrossed in it that you forgot the time? You looked up and hours had passed in a flash? You had bypassed the ego during that period. You had become totally in the moment.
I am not talking about being in a blur, though. Eckhart Tolle describes the “blur” as falling below thought, not rising above it. When you stroll along absent-mindedly and walk into lamppost, or when you get drunk, or lost in your television show, you are not being egoless.
Now, removing the ego permanently is another matter. I can recognize and bypass my ego most of the time, but I still have one so I can’t write about being completely egoless without being a hypocrite, bleh 
.
Note that Ken Wilber claims the egoless state does not mean the lack of a functional self. That’s sign of a psychotic, not a sage, he says.
I have identified seven areas in which the removal of the ego can help you in your practical life. There could be more, especially if you want to delve into the metaphysical, but I have no experience with those so I will stay away.
1) Bypassing fears, anger, and emotions that hold you back or sabotage you
2) Always doing your best, and more
3) Tapping the source of all creation
4) Intuitive action
5) Increased awareness
6) Moving beyond skill into true mastery.
7) True happiness and freedom from material goods
Bypassing fears, anger, and other emotions
Let’s get into the first. In any area of achievement, what are the biggest obstacles to success? Think about your goals for a moment. What stands in the way? If you can, make a list now.
Most of the time there are two types of obstacles. One type is external. This refers to the lack of time, money, knowledge, and so on.
The other type is internal. These include fear, procrastination, and self-limiting beliefs (thinking that you are not good enough). These are almost always the roots of external obstacles. For example, you might not have enough money because your fears or your laziness prevent you from doing what it takes. Maybe you don’t have enough time to chase your dreams because you lack the assertiveness and self-respect to turn others down politely when they demand your time. Take the time now, to be honest with yourself and list what you can do to overcome the external obstacles.
Done? Then the good news is: all internal obstacles are all traits of the ego. Your ego causes you to react this way by filtering the thoughts that you have and turning them into self-limiting beliefs, fear and doubt. All thoughts are initially neutral – take a simple one like “I have an invitation to go to a party.” A shy ego, for instance, might filter it and distort it into - “Oh my god, I don’t know anyone there! I’ll be the loser in the corner!” And so the troubles begin.
Entering a situation
When you have controlled the fears and the doubts holding you back, there will be so much more you can do. When I was younger, these negative filters ran my life. When I was going for a job interview, for example, what was running through my head?
“I’m never going to get that job. I’m fresh out of university, I got no experience, and my skills are rubbish!” In fact I had a Master’s degree in my chosen field, but my ego had killed my self-esteem. You can probably imagine what that meant for my chances.
Most of the time, I simply gave up. I turned down interviews, or went half-heartedly, prepared to fail. And fail I did. You get what you prepare for.
I was lucky I stopped before things got any worse – although not all egos do. Some egos continue dropping thoughts into - “I am a loser! I am worthless! Nobody will ever want me!” What will they do then? Suicide, perhaps.
On the other hand, if I had recognized these thoughts as my ego, I could have acknowledged them but gone in anyway with a healthy attitude. That doesn’t mean the job is guaranteed, but I will focus on my strengths instead of my weakness. My chances would have been much higher. There is only one step needed: Recognizing the ego as something separate.
In a situation
This also means you can keep your power when you are actually in a situation. You choose how you respond to events, not the ego. No ego means no “buttons to push”, for it is the ego that steps in and says “How dare you…!”
When you bypass the ego, you will find it easier to remain stable and calm in unfriendly conditions. This in turn lets you work out a beneficial solution. If you had instinctively responded through the ego, with anger, defensiveness, or aggression, the result would most likely be less than perfect. This is what distinguishes powerful leaders from the rest.
Japanese martial artists call this state Fudoshin, the “immovable mind”, the Imperturbable calm and peace. The ancient samurai know better than we do the danger of pride, angry brashness, and fearful withdrawal. In modern life, these can cost you friends and opportunities, and make you enemies. In combat with sharp pointy objects, these emotions can lead to death.
What about you? Can you think of anything that you did before, which you regretted later? Are you aware of the ego inside you?
The same samurai say that this state is usually achieved through soul-searching, through confronting and overcoming our fears and weaknesses. In other words, recognizing the ego when it wants to arise, putting yourself in those exact surroundings and then forcing yourself to remain in control.
Achieving more than your best.
What we’ve discussed so far are the larger forms of negativity. People usually make it a priority to overcome those once they are aware of it. Major unhappiness, weakness, and emotional baggage are pretty obvious.
But there are smaller forms: Comparison, doubt, and frustration. These are either not noticed, like a chronic pain that you’ve become used to, or they are not considered important. As a result, even many relatively conscious people live constantly under these filters. Let’s return to the younger me as an example. I had begun to overcome my weaknesses and found myself a job.
But my mental static continued to plague me while I was working. “Oh my god, this design is ******! Won’t the phone stop ringing! Is the boss looking at me! Is he going to move the deadlines forward again?”
It’s the mental equivalent of trying to sleep while the phone is ringing, the neighbour is blasting loud music, and your cat is screeching. The difference is; most people can’t turn off those thoughts. They function through their entire waking lives with such “static” cluttering up their concentration and awareness.
How can we stop this? The same way as we do the bigger filters: simply letting the thoughts float by. Recognizing when the ego wants to grab onto those thoughts. Refusing to let it. It takes practice and patience. You don’t have to remove it entirely. Recognizing it will make it much easier to keep control, and when you do, your whole life will be changed.
Another trick is to think of your current task as your life’s purpose. If your car has broken down and you have to change the wheels, it will be normal to be upset. But think of it as your life’s purpose, and in my experience, you will find it easier to get into pure “doing”. This is the egoless state I described, where hours fly past in a blink of the eye. This is hard to explain in a single paragraph, but I’ve covered it in detail in this post on Dynamic Goals.
The ego struggles to return
If it helps, you can think of the ego as a living thing. Like all living entities, it wants to survive and get strong. So it will find many ways of returning to your life, trying to trick you into identifying with it again.
For me, the ego sneaks back in when I am working on a task I don’t enjoy, before I have fully slipped into the selfless “doing” state. Other times, it happens when I am tired.
My biggest ego blotch is my compulsive reliving of old painful memories; I replay them over and over in my head. It was the cause of my depression many years ago, and I have otherwise already conquered them (you can read the techniques I used in my forgiveness series – check the archives). But this time my ego cleverly tried to slip these memories between my work thoughts.
This seems to be universal. Many of friends say that whenever they let themselves focus on one bad thought, it leads to another, then all the bad thoughts come rushing in, and before they know it they’ve lost hours of sleep.
Such extra sneakiness requires extra awareness. You have to remember not to become identified with the ego again. When I do catch myself getting more and more irritated and unable to concentrate fully, I take a short 30-second break, breathe deeply, and fill myself with a loving feeling. This allows me to concentrate, and soon I slip into a pure “doing”.
When you remove these thoughts, you can focus fully on the task at hand. The only thoughts you will have are those required to do the task you want to do. This is the only way to truly do your best.
What’s next?
This post is pretty basic, but it has to be covered for those who are new to the ego. The next few posts in this series will be far more interesting, I promise! Stay tuned!
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14 Comments, Comment or Ping
Albert
Ishi, I remember you making a comment here, and I replied to it before my server died and I lost it all.
Please check out the dynamic goals post for more info, I’ve made it into a tiny url so it doesn’t break the design of the comments section.
http://tinyurl.com/2l2r59
May 31st, 2007
shaz
nice post very influencial
Jun 3rd, 2007
Ishi
No worries, I got an email with content of your reply. Thank you.
Jun 3rd, 2007
Albert
Shaz, I remember you making a comment here before my wordpress stuffed up (again!), if you can re-enter it it would be great!
Jun 3rd, 2007
Kenton Whitman
You did it again, Albert — managed to clearly set down the intricacies of the adventure of ‘going egoless’. You covered a lot of ground with a minimum of words — helping people to see the games we play, the processes we work through — and thanks for including examples from your personal experience. This will help a lot of people to further their understanding of what an ego is, and how it plays the game of the world.
Can’t wait to see the next post in the series!
Sweetwater,
Kenton
Jun 9th, 2007
Albert
Thank you very much Kenton! I have produced a couple of other posts in the series but I didn’t explicitly name them as such, as they could be articles read in their own right and I didn’t want to alienate people who didn’t read into the ego article.
Jun 9th, 2007
Jonathan Evatt
Thanks Albert for sharing as you do.Interesting I should stumble upon this blog entry on becoming egoless, for in the last few months I’ve been realising another perspective on the ego that differs from the one I’ve been familiar with.
The perspective I have been familiar with is the one most prevalent in most of the so-called “New Age” and many “old-age” spiritual traditions and views on the nature of the human being, reality, etc. This is the one that describes ego as some sort of mistake (mis-take) and implies it has a separate existence from who and whatever we (as humans and consciousness) are. Like it is some kind of entity in its own right… or at the least some kind of separate “thing” within the human consciousness. It’s as if we are all suffering from multiple personality disorder. Yet do all these multiple “parts” really exist in the way most people think they do?
On one level the status-quo perspective on ego has rung true, to a degree… it’s made sense. Yet, I’ve also had this inkling inside that says “hang on a minute, in the perfect Unity of all that is where is there room for this mad ego that is apparently running amuck?”. Infinity knows no error.
Ego is derived directly from the Latin word of the same spelling. It refers to the “I”. We say “I” in English, where one would have said “ego” in Latin.
In my experience the ego is not something we can overcome or get rid of. This is further misperception. Rather it is about expanding my sense of “I” to be more inclussive to the vast infinity that my limited sense of “I” (my limited sense of ego) typically relates to. It’s also commonly proposed that one can enter into a state of self-lessness. Yet that is not my experience. I have realised it is more accurate to say that one can expand their sense of self to a point that is so inclusive of what was previously perceived as “other” and “non-self” that the perception of the self as an independent entity separate from the rest of all-that-is dissolves. If I eradicate the self — or the ego — what is it that remains to say it is so; to know it is so? What is it that has eradicated the ego or the self?
There is, in my experience, an essential I-ness within, and I feal this “I” is the same “I” in you, and me, and the same “I” that some people refer to as “God”. The I that I Am is the “I” that is God.
Attempting to eliminate the ego is, I suspect, another ego-trip. It is again a limited sense of self/ego attempting to manipulate the experience of self and reality based on the perspective afforded to one from that limited sense of self. As far as I experience, in Truth, the Path of Freedom is one of becoming forever more inclusive. The “heart” (the spiritual heart centre) is the inclusive faculty within the Human. The rational / thinking mind is the reductive and deductive faculty. As the heart opens and integrates into the human experience, I have experienced that there is less and less a sense of this mad ego I must over come. Rather I have found that it was more a matter of expanding into a far vaster perception of That which is I.
Is it about human beings dropping their ego or is it really about human beings evolving (as we are) in such a way that what we experience as ego / I / self expands? And I don’t mean in some sort of ego-inflation and self-aggrandisement… no, what I refer to is at the level of the profundity of Man/Woman, not the superficial.
I will be exploring this in more detail on my blog some time soon.
With love and blessings…
Jonathan
Jun 17th, 2007
Albert
Jonathan, thanks for that great entry. It is brilliant! At the same time, I’m finishing off a post on some of what you’ve mentioned (removing the ego is actually more ego), but what you are saying on “Expanding” your consciousness and perception is admittedly new to me - I shall have to explore this.
I think you’ve just put a name to some of the experiences I’ve had in recent times - I’ve been discussing this expansion feeling with a few of my fellow bloggers but I have had nothing concrete yet - I still don’t know what exactly is happening to me - hence I’m sticking with what I’ve personally experienced with this blog. Once I consolidate that expansion thing I’ve been experiencing I’ll write about it. Thank you so much for that, I’ll be keeping a close eye on your blog for further insights. Thanks again!
Jun 17th, 2007
Jonathan Evatt
Albert,
Thanks for the affirming and passionate response.
As I read your reply, the following analogy came to mind.
The human ego in its current state of e-volution (energy spiralling forever outward as form manifestation, and inward as awareness) is like a seed. To the external observer the following process can be seen: The seed dies to the germ within the seed as it begins to germinate (which takes place under the right conditions of moisture and temperature). The germ dies to the seedling. The seedling dies to the sapling. The sapling dies to the mature tree. The flower buds die to the flowers. The flowers die to the fruit. The fruit die to the seeds.
So, from one perspective, one thing dies to the next, just as we might say the ego dies to the true Self. One could also say the catepillar dies to make way for the butterfly.
Yet from another perspective the seed in fact already contains the tree. The seed already contains what is within the umpteen million seeds that tree will produce. Yet with each generation the potentiality of the seed evolves into something more aptly suited to the present conditions, as part of Life’s intelligent response to itself. Thus awareness evolves and expands. From this perspective the seed does not die (it is not got rid of), rather it simply incorporates from the formless side of Life (the unknown) a greater and greater expression of the Intention represented by this seed into the form side of Life (the known). The mature fruit baring tree is simply the full expression or manifestation of the potential inherent to the seed.
Our ego is like this too.
It is simply the seed of that fuller potentiality inherent to the hu-man being. We live on a planet we call Earth. Which is an anagram for Heart (we only have to put the tail round to the mouth of the word Earth to get that).
H
T E
R A
(The spiralling process I referred to earlier and also an ancient symbol for the mystery of life… the snake eating its own tail).
I shall enjoy reading more of your blog soon. Diner time now.
Arohanui,
Jonathan
Jun 17th, 2007
Jonathan Evatt
Oh… my little heart circle came out squashed… minus the spaces. I’ll try this way…
……H……
..T…….E..
….R…A….
Let’s see how that turns out. It should be HEART (or EARTH - depending on how how you read it) in a circle
Jun 17th, 2007
Albert
Hmm…you seem to be coming from a very different perspective…I mostly know the ego as a psychological construct, but you seem to be talking about it as more a metaphysical thing? Thank you for taking the time to type up such a great response, I’ll have to look more into it, as I am coming from a completely different perspective than you are.
Jun 17th, 2007
Jonathan Evatt
Yes, indeed. A different perspective.
Thanks for popping over to my blog at http://www.feal.org. Happy reading. My editor tells me there is 300 or so pages of writing on there.
From where I stand I would say that every “thing” we experience is a construct of one kind or another. We can call it a psychological one, and yet I am inclined to say that the human psyche is also a construct within the empty “space” of the Mind.
If I over come or eradicate the ego, who is that knows this has taken place? Who is it eradicating the ego?
Further to what I have said already, as I typed the above and considered your above reply, I realised the following:
This “thing” we call the ego and experience as the ego is in fact some “thing” that within time and space (within the human scheme of things) has taken rather a long time to come about. It is the beginnings of the totality (call it God if you like) coming into an even fuller state of Awareness. As already mentioned, the “I” within me (and you) is ultimately the “I” of this totality we call God. I shall add that in my experience God is not an entity in its own right, independent and/or separate from you, me, and all that is.
This seed we experience as the ego has arisen out of the void into the form side of life. All the issues, problems, complexes, challenges, traumas, dysfunctions, etc. that we label and experience are in fact the very basis of our liberation into the Grand Perfection of all that is. These are not “things” to be fixed and/or got rid of, rather they are again the seeds of a vast and mysterious Power (one which most humans not yet even tried to fathom) coming into being — incarnating… stepping into the flesh.
From the lucidity of my True, Pure, and Omnipotent Nature there is no error. There is no faulty aspect within Creation that must be fixed or some how eliminated. There is an infinite perfection playing out… dancing through time, space, and beyond. Our human tendency to perceive that there is “something wrong with me”, which for the spiritual aspirant turns into “this ego and all that goes with it is an error I must correct or overcome”, this tendency arises out of out limited sense of self, our limited sense of ego or “I”.
For aeons I have watched people, and my own self, try to overcome these perceived human problems and conditions, and what we call ego. I’ve also seen beings of relatively great “spiritual accomplishment” (an oxymoron at best, but I think you know what I mean) — let us say these are people who are very conscious on many planes and of a great many spiritual/subtle realities — who were in my experience still being tripped up by a wounded and non-integrated human ego that had most likely been abandoned along the way side some where early on in their journey of spiritual awakening. It simply doesn’t go away. Human ego becomes spiritual ego. Human dysfunction simply becomes spiritual dysfunction. And that too is part of the journey into greater awareness. That too is part of the perfection. Yet that too is something I am equipped to discus and perhaps just one person will hear that discussion and something will click. The fight will end, and a new and more empowering battle will begin. The battle or challenge we were all Intended to face in the journey of Forever Expanding Awareness in Liberation.
With love,
Jonathan
Jun 19th, 2007
Albert
Jonathan, I’m really enjoying your comments. If I’m not wrong, are you speaking from a non-dualist point of view? I’m still undecided about my stand on non-dualism, and then again I haven’t read into as deeply as I should. I agree with most of everything you say (although I could have misinterpreted them wrongly) - except your perception on our dysfunctions.
And then I’m not disagreeing with that, I’m just asking for more clarification. What are you saying? That it’s OK to be depressed, that it’s all part of one grand plan, or is part of the perfection of the All-That-Is? I’m more of the view that they happened for a reason - to shape us into something better - is that what you are saying?
(I covered this in my gratitude post at: http://www.urbanmonk.net/56/li.....r-the-bad/ for those of you who are following our little comment discussion hehe.)
I’m new to non-dualism and don’t know that much about it.
Also, if I may, what do you mean by you have been watching for aeons?
Jun 20th, 2007
Jonathan Evatt
Hi Albert,
Just came across this post again, whilst searching for my name on the internet (I’ve been coming across spam blog sites the take entire posts from my blogs… just figuring out the extent of it). Anyway… I didn’t see this last comment you made in reply to one of mine… so let’s continue shall we?
With regards to non-dual awareness. I my experience non-dual awareness is very much a part of what I experience. Yet, what exploration of reality (as I experience it) indicates that both are true… non-dual and duality. Both exist in their own peculiar way. For me non-dual awareness does not negate the experience of duality. Rather it puts it into another perspective.
With regards to our dialogue on my perspectives on ego…
Yes, I guess this could be classified as non-dual. Although I am actually not very familiar with formal teachings on such matters (non-duality, etc.) so I can’t really say whether it would be technically / philosophically classified as such. I can certainly see non-duality elements in it.
What I do experience is that separation, all forms of it, are a product of my perception, and it is only when I am approaching reality from a separative perspective that I suffer. This includes approaching the perceived aspects of my own human self from a separative perspective. This damn elusive ego is a tricky thing to grasp, yet perhaps it’s much the same as trying to catch oneself whilst falling, or trying to pick oneself up by your shoelaces. Tricky to say the least.
I suspect that trying to negate the ego is an illusion, a misunderstanding on the nature of Man and reality. What is the Self if not the deep awareness of “I” within our interiority? In my observation it is not the sense of “I” that causes human beings so much strife, but rather the misidentification (mis-I-dentification) of what constitutes the “I”. People start out with a very personalised and self-centred sense of the “I”. This does not evolve by negating this sense of “I”. I suspect it only truly evolves when our perception becomes more inclusive to the vaster and more mysterious attributes of the “I”. Ultimately the “I” within me is the same “I” within you, which is also the “I” that is God.
In direct response to your questions (having just reread your comment above)…
- I have no issue with feeling depressed. Every-thing is “part” of the grand plan”. Yet in reality it is only a convenience of the human mind (and more specifically the development of our linguistic conventions) that has thingified Life into all these many “things”. What we classify as depression is of course an expression of Life, in one particular form, although I can it be truly separated (and thus negated) from the totality of Life and the apparent other forms we perceive within it?
From dualistic human point of view, it is simply another state of being through which I am being challenged just as much as elation and joy is a challenge. The challenge is one of Awareness. The challenge is with regards to how I manage my Power in this world. Power, being a direct product of perception, thus implies that the challenge is how I am perceiving reality in this moment. I’d have to write a lot more to explain this any further. But since I am on the brink of publishing a book exactly to that effect I think I’ll spare your blog from having a 100,000 word comment from myself!
- What do I mean with regards to the aeons comment? Well, simply that for much of this “life time” I have had memory of a great deal more than what pertains to the moments between my apparent birth and this moment. In my feeling world I remember what seems like many many thousands of years (in the time way of talking about Life). I recall cycles that have played out in this great Dream we call life on Earth, and which continue to play out. I feel we are at the “end” or conclusion of one of these cycles right now. Let’s simply say that in my interiority there is the experience and memory of aeons of “time”, and that in that “time” much of my focus (or shall we say the purpose of this Self presently experienced as Jonathan) has been one of mapping out the nature of reality and sharing those maps with people attracted to such. I don’t quite know how else to put it.
With my regards… glad to have found your blog again…
Jonathan
Dec 17th, 2007
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