There was something I discovered recently, something that sounds so absurd and yet so simple. As much as I want to be free of whatever I am suffering – there is a part of me that wants it.
Whatever I was facing – sorrow, anger, guilt, hatred, resentment, fear – I wanted it just as much as I hated it. This sounded insane to me, and I’m sure many readers will feel the same way when they think of their own lives. These emotions hurt, tremendously. Why would we want to be this way? Have not the past two years of my life revolved around freedom from suffering?
And it has. With all the work I’ve done in the past two years, things have shifted tremendously. But there are many times I have gotten stuck, when nothing changed no matter what I did. I’ve found this to be a major reason. Even if you don’t believe in this concept, I suggest you take a few minutes to try it for yourself, or at least keep it in mind. If you get stuck in the future, it might be exactly what you need.
This process builds on the usual emotional work of welcoming the emotion, or letting go of it. If you are not familiar with at least one of them, please pick one and read that article first. However, if you prefer working with thoughts instead of feelings, please read on.
An example might make the process easier to understand. There was a man I met in my teens, and he gave me my first experience of heavy racist abuse. Even now, certain events, people, and places would remind me of him, and bring up unresolved feelings of hatred, shock, and grief. Over the past years, I had done much emotional work on the issue, and while greatly reduced, a lot of it refused to budge.
One day, I realized that while I consciously wanted to be free of it, a denied and hidden part of me wanted to be hurt and angry. And a big part of healing was simply done by getting in touch with this want. I would sit down, close my eyes, and relive the abuse. And this time, when the emotions arose again, I didn’t begin emotional work.
This time, I said to myself – I want to feel this way. I WANT IT. The purpose of this is to shift your focus. This is not to get in touch with the feeling, but the part of you that wants it, the part that is behind the scenes, so to speak. For our current purposes, there really isn’t any need to analyze why it wants to feel this way.
Sometimes this will intensify the current feeling. Often, it will bring up a different feeling. Behind my anger, for instance, was a myriad of other emotions. Fear, abandonment, sorrow. Welcome that feeling. It has been hidden and denied for so long, and we need to get in touch with it. Bring it up; increase it; feel it completely and explore it.
Next, use your preferred emotional work on this new feeling – welcome it, or let it go. (While I refer to these as different approaches, as they were for me in the past, these days they’re really just the different ways of doing the same thing.)
I highly recommend, if this clicks with you, that you spend a few days working on this hidden want. Then, return to your original feeling and process that out. I think you’ll be surprised at how much easier you’ll be able to let go of your original feeling.
In internal work, there are usually two types of people. One prefers the emotional approach and the other prefers working with thoughts. For the second group, one can also use The Work of Byron Katie on this.
You can try working with statements like: I want to hurt him, or I have to be angry at him. The 3rd and 4th questions, which examine cause and effect, would be particularly powerful in this regard.
I can’t help but feel that I have been unclear somewhere in this article, so I would just like to add this section to clear it up. This is for times when we can’t let go of our pain and suffering. As much as we consciously say that we want to, there is also a part that doesn’t. This process is to get in touch with that part, and work with it, before returning to the primary feeling. I’ve found that simply doing this process for a few days on all my long standing resentments and hatreds have allowed the primary suffering to dissolve really quickly.
For those of us who are suffering and consciously revel in it, this might be a good idea also. Do some work on the wanting to suffer, and then return to the primary suffering itself. Hope that clears a few things up.
As with all processes described in the blog, please remember that safety and respect for yourself and those around you should be a top priority. Welcoming our urges and emotions does not necessarily mean acting on them. Awareness is very often all that is needed.
A shorter post today, because to go into the theory (Carl Jung’s shadow psychology) behind this would take an entire series, and I’m pretty sure one doesn’t need the theory to practice this. Let me know if I am wrong, though.
The first link goes to Marc and Angel, practical tips for productive living. One of the popular blogs out there, they cover all sorts of stuff, from productivity to relationships and happiness with a wonderful story-telling style. A recent post you might like: When Less Advice is the Best Advice.
The second goes to Roger from A Content Life. A strong focus on mental and physical health with a light-hearted touch, as you can see from the tagline: Staying happy and sane everyday. A recent post you might like: Meditation for Beginners.
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Hi Albert!
Thanks for writing about this. I think a lot of people, maybe ven everyone, feels this way from time to time. It’s part of our dark side, the part of ourselves that we don’t want to talk about, the part that we like to pretend doesn’t exist. That part of us likes to feel pain and cause suffering, even if we generally consider ourselves to be “good” people who would never admit to it openly.
The thing is, when you cover up the dark side, or try to stifle it too much, it can”leak out” in unexpected ways and cause damage when and where we least expect it.
By acknowledging it, and allowing it to come to the surface in a safe, controlled way such as you’ve described here, you tame the beast within, and bring it into the light slowly and safely, allowing yourself to feel the emotions and work with them instead of being enslaved by them.
Wow Jay, you’re fast! I just published this like 10 minutes ago!
Thank you for the comment, glad you liked it. Seems like you’re a big fan of the shadow too! I would love to have the time to finish my series on the shadow (and all the other ones I’ve promised here haha!)
I also find sitting with these emotions and letting come all the way out of the dark a very effective way to deal with. Until you have fully seen them you can’t hope to gain a proper understanding of them.
It is amazing when you let something fully appear that you dicovet what is underneath it all.
The ego is addicted to the drama. It does not like things to be status quo. It needs food to feed on.
Thank you Jarrod and Evelyn, it’s always nice to have you guys here
I guess it will vary from person to person – but I recall one relative (now deceased) who was prepared, by habit and reflex, to assume that he was only ever to get bad luck, everybody was holding him back, all he needed was for someone to magically recognise his talent.
I believe his willingness to revel in the darker interpretation of his life was because it was easier and less frightening than being responsible for his own actions.
If you are responsible for your acions, you can fail. If you can blame bad luck or other people, it’s not your fault.
Me? I’ve rarely felt the same way, and so it has not become an ingrained habit. I had his bad example as a frame of reference…
Hi Discovered Joys, thank you for that comment. I’m not really sure I understand it, though? Could you elaborate a little bit more?
I have noticed this weird tendency to want to suffer too. It’s very interesting to me, and usually it’s for one of two reasons: 1) If I feel wronged, it gives me a chance to get self-righteous, to insist I am somehow superior morally, or 2) When I feel bad, I feel like I have nothing to lose; nothing is on the line if I’m already feeling rotten.
I think Evelyn is on to something: drama is addictive. It gives our minds something to do, because it’s so hard for our mind to do nothing.
I will try this technique next time I feel off.
Hi, Albert! You know, after years of trying to deal with “stuff” the traditional ways, I finally was able to resolve a lot of my issues by going through a journal metamorphosis phase.
I spent more than a year writing feverishly in my journals, exploring all my thoughts, feelings and motivations. It became clear to me when I did it that I had some very real payoffs for hanging on to the crappy emotions that let me feel like a victim, but also, that those emotions were not serving my best interests long term. When I emerged from the cocoon, I was transformed… lighter, happier, and more willing to get out and enjoy life.
=-)
Albert,
Thank you so much for the link love. I’m honored!
One of the interesting things I’ve studied about anger is that it comes from a feeling that your rights have been violated. That may have been your feeling as well. If so, it’s understandable why people don’t want to let go of their anger because that would be like saying you don’t care about your rights. Unfortunately, this causes endless suffering.
Oh man! I think this article was written for me. For so long, I was in love with my suffering. I identified with being the gloomy, sad, sarcastic Eeyore among my friends and family. I was labeled and I liked it. I knew where I was supposed to be, what side I was supposed to be routing for (the sad one). Now I realize that suffering is not what I need to live a wonderful, enjoyable life. I can choose happiness and still be me. Thanks for this great article. It really hit home for me!
@ David: That is great insight, thanks. And in fact, you don’t have to wait for the next time you feel off. Just think of someone you resent, and feel that you want to hate the little %@^$@)%!
@ Lisis: Heya! Writing in a journal is wonderful isn’t it? It’s such a simple technique that it’s often overlooked, but it really lets us get to those hard to reach places.
@ Roger: It’s my pleasure
I think you’re spot on. It’s a tricky thing but we have to teach the inner child, perhaps, that we can let go of this anger and still be able to stand up for our rights in the future.
@ Positively Present: You’re welcome. It’s weird isn’t it? Try really, really, WANTING to be upset, and that in fact lets it go.
Haha, will do.
Hi Albert,
My relative was a ‘frustrated artist’ in his youth. His father discouraged him and showed him little approval.
Even after he left home he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) challenge the need for approval and found it more and more difficult to be the artist he wanted to be.
In the end he chose to accept his self imposed martyrdom (i.e. ‘enjoying’ his suffering) because it was easier and less scary than being true to his dreams.
Once you’ve got that mindset, of course, it is easy to interpret any of life’s ripples as proof of your dark world view (confirmation bias). As the years roll on it becomes an automatic response to events. The thought of leaving your comfort zone (even though it is not a good place) is literally unthinkable.
I wanted my suffering for it gave reason for my behavior. By accepting something, I’m admitting I’m responsible for how I respond to it. I have to do something about it, if not, its my own fault. As the saying goes, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
If I’m not suffering… I should be living a prosperous and beautiful life right? What if I try and find out life isn’t great? I’ll be suffering anyway right?
At an emotional bottom in my life I finally realized something profound… nobody cares about my suffering. Ok, well some people care-like my mother-the one person in the world who would give their own life for mine, but even she could do nothing. That was it, I was responsible for my own suffering. It became a choice from that moment forward, live or die. It was that simple. Of course I had no idea how to live right so I asked for help from people who knew how. It’s a daily process and journey but its simply amazing! I choose not to suffer. When something painful happens, I ask for help. I pray and I turn it over to someone or something more qualified to deal with it than I. I then get immediately into gratitude! I write a gratitude list or see where I can be of service to someone else.
Today my life is prosperous and beautiful!
I’ve had this problem–I was bullied as a child and the bullying was dismissed by adults (“he’s just teasing you because he likes you”). By being messed up by it years later, I was trying to demonstrate that it really was wrong. But of course I was only hurting myself.
@ Discovered Joys, Jared, and Escape Velocity: Thank you again for your comments!
I can’t help but feel as if I screwed up somewhere in writing this article. My intention was to convey that as much as we want to get rid of suffering, sometimes we can’t, because a part of us wants to hold on to it. Getting in touch with that part, and healing that, might be just what the final step we need.
I can’t shake the feeling that there is some sort of misunderstanding here, which is of course entirely my fault, I probably wrote something wrongly somewhere. I’m just not sure what the misunderstanding is.
Great article Albert.
We can not heal our emotional scars unless we meditate on them, and temporarily consume ourselves in them. For this is the only way to truly understand our feelings.
Openly acknowledging emotional pain is the primary step for healing it.
BTW, thanks for the link love.
Hi Albert
Great article. I’ve found that this mechanism has a few reasons. It’s typically stored in the sub-conscious, a habit mind. So it’s held out of habit. That’s easier to step past. More deeply, it’s held as a protection against experiencing the deeper stuff behind/under whats superficially held. And interrelated to both of them, we can come to identify with the feelings as part of “who we are”, our sense of identity. We can sometimes catch those holdings by statements like “I always meet jerks” or “I hate computers”. Of course, sometimes such statements are just venting, but watch those absolute (always, never, etc) statements, especially if they repeat. That tells you you believe it, it’s part of your identity or story.
As for something missing, I usually mention that we’re not talking about reliving the experience or investing in the emotions. Thats just amplifying them. The trick here is allowing them. We don’t need to relive the experience, just let the emotion complete. That way it completes and leaves. Very similar but the opposite effect of going into them.
As for fault, there is nothing you can do to control how the article is read and understood. Just do your best to communicate the ideas. If it resonates with someone, you’ve done good. I suspect what you’re actually feeling is an intuition of something more to be added but it’s not coming out. Some resistance is there
Thanks for this man. Personally, when I find myself reliving old painful events, I remind myself that this is one of my ways of not dealing with the present. Just from my own self-inquiry: The tendency to rehash the past seems, in other words, to be based on the unconscious idea that old suffering is easier to experience than this moment. That isn’t even remotely true, but many of us seem to believe it.
Hi Chris, if I may observe, this a perfect example of what I touched on. Mind will often bring up “reasons”, justify feelings based on past memories (which tend to be rather revisionist). We can get drawn back into the story of our drama, fueling it more. The trick here is not to go into the story, just the feeling.
If we follow the minds story, we go in circles. When we follow the feeling, it will take us into it. Into what’s behind it.
I’ll also observe Mind actually does find it easier to be in the past or future. So if we’re “in the head” (actually the senses), we are playing in the field of memory and projection. This is everywhere but now. Step out of the minds stories and we step into the present.
Hi Albert!
I was discussing this very topic with someone this morning who is going through a very hard time. Actually, ever since I have known this person, she always has had some type of problem. I have never known her to just be problem free and she loses many friends because some of them cannot handle the perpetual depression that my friend seems to have.
I came to realize a few years back that my friend likes her suffering and loves to be viewed as a victim. You tell her things she can do to overcome it but she refuses to do anything.
I think some people get comfort in knowing they have suffered. It is like a badge of honor. I used to do that too so I know how it works.
The one thing that I love about Buddhism is that it tells all of us upfront that suffering is a fact of life. I think sometimes we like to forget that but we cannot escape it. Joy and happiness are emotions that we all can have in life but I think people have to want it badly enough in order to achieve it. Suffering will never not be a part of the human experience, we just have to find a way to deal with it and hopefully overcome it. Easier said than done but it can be done.
Apologies on this being so long but I just think you hit on a very important topic….again!
@ Marc and Angel: Thanks for that, and you’re welcome!
@ Davidya: That is great insight. I always appreciate what you add to the comments section. Hehe, you’re right on with the “fault” bit as well. I suspect it’s all the scientific stuff I’ve been staying up till 5am to write recently, it’s destroyed my soul
@ Chris: That is a very strange idea indeed. I’ve found the same in myself. Very strange, when indeed the past is one of the most painful sources; the exact opposite.
@ Nadia: Heya! I think we all did that
There’s a list of reasons in one of my books (I forgot which one), but it was a brilliant list. It included “It is vital to be right”. “It is vital to right any wrongs”. These are all the basic foundations of the ego, according to the author.
And no, there is no such thing as a comment that’s too long
I sometimes have clients that do not want to let their “stuff” go. I can usually tell in session that they are going to want to hang on – I even warn them that there will be a large part of them resisting the healing process.
I think within many of us is a deep fear of being healed, limitless and Divine. Imagine the accountability we would have then! Nothing to blame, nothing to hold us back … my goodness, we’d have to shine all of our Light into the world! It scares most people, I think!
Blessings,
Andrea
Hey Andrea! That is a brilliant explanation. I’ve never thought of it that way – fear of being held accountable, fear of being powerful! I think you’ve just given me my next area of exploration
We do take a peculiar pleasure from pain patterns. Maybe the pleasure comes from the habitual workings in the mind. As you point out, letting go of all is as easy as making space for it, allowing it, welcoming it, and letting go.
Thanks for another great insight.
Hey Kaushik, thanks for your kind words
Thanks for the post Albert. Good to see someone coming up with a solution/suggestion when you are pexplexed dealing with your emotions.
Yes, the pain pattern is as much a part of us as the ‘happiness-wanting’ part. Maybe, we want to be miserable because we think that will, out of nowhere, bring us the attention that we secretly crave for. To me, in a way, it is related to loving yourself. If we cultivate true love for ourselves, we would never get stuck in the pain pattern.
I will surely try this to deal with some of my still-lingering emotions/feelings. Let me see what my ‘wanting’ part wants.
Thank you for that Kolammal. I think you’ll be surprised, as we all are, at what the wanting part does. My counseling professor told me a woman came to therapy, because her husband was an alcoholic. Soon he discovered she was subconsciously keeping him an alcoholic because she was getting a lot of sympathy for it.
Thank you for this article, it is something I have been pondering for a while. I think many people do not realize how they are getting themselves paid off by still allowing these patterns to exist. You only know that once you set the healing in motion.
The funny thing is, once I have started recognizing this in myself, I have also started seeing these patterns in others, and I am making an effort to no longer enable. It is hard, because it can actually mean losing friends, but I know it pays off in the long run, at least for me.
Hey Tamlyn! I’ve noticed that too, the enabling thing I mean. And like you said, it does sometimes get misinterpreted if you stop and friendships get strained but in the long run I see them get better for it. Thank you for your comment.
Great thoughts Albert. Something that many of us experience but may be can’t express (or don’t want to express).
It is specially valuable to understand this concept when you are trying to handle a situation where your loved ones are suffering. You are trying to soothe them but you feel a little reluctance in them.
Thank you Tehseen. I’ve never thought of looking for in others. Have to try it now!
I love Byron Katies “work.” She says to do it daily.
If we do we won’t suffer. If we don’t we are choosing to suffer. Period!
Hey Tess, I love BK too. Took me a while to get the hang of it but wow when it worked, it worked!
Hi Albert,
Thanks for an amazing post. Happened to find it through another blog and it rings so true. I spent the better part of last year over analyzing my pain, I in turn got addicted to the pain and it wasn’t easy to let go. The main reason we hold on is fear, fear albeit unconscious, is the driving force behind wanting to hold onto something. The funny thing is that without the pain I wouldn’t have become aware and wouldn’t be in this path so now so I am extremely grateful for the pain, sounds a little odd but it always has a purpose. I agree with posts above that the ego holds onto past hurts, it wants revenge, it wants to blame something outside of ourselves. In truth no one has any power over us, only the power we choose to give them!! The last two letters of the word blaME, indicate a very useful insight into understanding our pain. For all problems, look inside yourself!
Thanks again for an awesome pots.
Herewith some amazing article, food for thought.
http://www.guyfinley.com/Key_L...../Home.php4
Hi Brendan,
Thank you for your kind compliment! Agreed, I read somewhere once that the ego secretly enjoys the suffering. I don’t know if I would go that far but that’s definitely something to think about. Love the blaME thing. I’ll check out the link now.
Hi Albert,
Thanks for your response. Read your bio, seem to be very similiar. I think the ego does get addicted to the pain, how hard is it to undo something learnt? The ego doesn’t want to lose it’s identity so clings to pain, hurt, grief etc. The solution is overcoming the fear of letting it go, the ego’s prime motivator is fear. The link above has some profound articles on changing your relationship with fear… definately worthwhile.
Cheers
Brendan
I find it’s useful to frame this a little differently. We could say the ego is addicted to pain. And that is true but gives less insight into the mechanism.
If we say the ego has identified with the pain, this gives us a clue for a way out. We think “my pain”, “me”. Without the pain, we would then feel somehow less. Our story about me would be smaller. So we need to hold it to be ‘me’. When we begin to see ourselves as other than the pain, then the pain can be released.
It is only in the identification that we hold the pain as a part of ourselves, just as we might say I’m a plumber. We are afraid to release the pain/suffering as we would then loose a part of ourselves. Which is of course silly so when its seen, it can be resolved.
Hi David,
Thanks for the response. I agree with your post, I agree the ego doesn’t want to lose a part of itself, it uses the pain for identification. The curious thing is that fear is what holds the ego in the pain mind frame. The ego is primarily fear driven, we want to let go of all our ‘’stuff” however fear holds it into place. Change your relationship with fear and your life will change.. Awareness is the key.
Thanks for the insight!!
Cheers
We humans are funny animals
. You’re right, negative emotions are just as addictive as positive ones.
That’s why so many people enjoy watching the TV news (even though they’re full of negative non-actionable information). We like our shot of emotions… and for evolutionary reasons, negative news gives us a stronger shot of emotions than positive news.
I’m glad I broke free of watching TV news a couple of years back
@ Brendan and Davidya: Great conversation, I’m enjoying it
@ Vlad: Thanks for your comment. I haven’t read Eckhart Tolle in years, but your comment reminded me of something he said – that our pain needs to sustain itself by finding more pain – and the news (plus horror movies, etc) is one of the best ways it has.
Hi Brendan
Exactly. Fear is the driver of the ego. Other emotions may be associated, but if you go into them, they too are fear driven.
As the ego is a mind construct, going into its emotional drivers and resolving them takes away the activators. To really loose the ego though, who we see ourselves to be has to shift. Then we can see under all the emotional drama to the core fear, the identity, the personal me.
Yes, awareness is the key. It is the greatest healer, the seer, the source, the grace, the real you. You see clearly.
Thanks for the response. The journey to awareness hasn’t been easy. Started with depression,extreme emotional pain and a lot of soul searching. As I became more aware the ego seemed to get stronger. Here I was, learning this amazing gift with no one to validate it. Felt very fearful as I couldn’t discuss this with anyone I knew. Sort of felt as though it wasn’t real. The beauty in the journey has been profound knowledge, I am very aware now and have an abundance of knowledge. The weird thing is that when you become aware, initially you feel a little self righteous however once that subsides you want to share this amazing viewpoint on life with everyone. Most people are scared(fear)to live below the surface, to dig a little deeper. I think we need to share and aid people in empowering their lives. Stop being the spectator and be the creator, create the life you have always dreamed off. We are all worthy of the best life has to offer, we only need put our hand up!!
Thanks again.
Namaste.
Hi Brendan. Beautifully put. A number of teachers speak of how they hit bottom before they broke though. Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie come to mind. And how the uncertainty of the opening can be, even if we have support. It still must be discovered.
It’s also interesting to see the pattern of the ego. As we begin to wake from victim thinking, the ego often gets stronger for a time until it is seen through. Again, it can be drawn out as a “spiritualized ego” as you describe. Some get stuck there as the newbie guru. “premature immaculation” was one phrase I liked.
I agree. Many people see within as a boogey man until they learn how to look and how to take it bit by bit, noticing what comes up.
Thanks for sharing. It’s such a profound journey.
Namaste
I was struggling with this earlier today. I was very angry about how someone has treated me last week, badly. I want them to suffer for the way they badly treated me. I can’t let go of the outrage.
My friend pointed out that I’m suffering and they are having a bbq.
I still can’t let go of it. I WANT them to know that they are vermin and that I despise them for how they abused me.
I really would appreciate more how-to advice for dealing with this. Because letting them walk all over me doesn’t seem like the best solution to being abused. :’(
Hi there, I would suggest just releasing the emotion and not worry about the Wanting. The wanting is more for when you get stuck. Just keep working with the anger, and also you might try the boundaries series.
http://www.urbanmonk.net/welcome/#boundaries
Suffering is a curious thing. It is a resistance to our resistance. (laughs)
To release the anger, you must be willing to experience it. It remains because you resist actually feeling. We say “I am stuck in anger” yet what we are actually experiencing is a resistance to being angry. When we stop resisting being angry, we experience the anger and it passes. The energy is released.
Thank you Albert.
I think I am stuck. If I imagine just saying this guy is a jerk and acting like he’s not vermin and that I’m not upset, then I get upset at the thought of not being upset and aggressively letting him know he’s a jerk and that I’m his enemy. I desperately WANT him to know that he’s a complete absolute unforgiveable Grade A unredeemable JERKOFF. I get upset at the thought of not being upset and at war with this jerk.
Believe me if I think about the anger I can summon up the feeling. It’s when it starts to fade that I get anxious about it fading.
I have a burning desire to go tell this jerk what I think of him and ignite a political war just so I don’t have to let the anger fade and there can always be fresh provocations to despise this jerk.
I will go read the boundaries series now.
Hi,
Just been reading the latest comments. Me, I think you need to look at it from a different angle. Something about this guy is triggering something in you. Anger is a frustrated expectation, either he doesn’t respect you or you have some beliefs which are triggering your anger. Only your thoughts can make you angry, your thoughts about him are upsetting you. He is not making you angry, you are making yourself angry with your thoughts. Change the thoughts, something interesting on the boundaries article, no one can make you feel anything with your permission!!!! Interesting article here: http://www.selfgrowth.com/arti....._Most.html
Cheers
Brendan
I’ve been going through a very emotional time in my life over the past several months and this has crossed my mind several times. Realizing that I hold on to the pain so tightly has made me take a closer look at myself and try to figure out why I would choose to keep myself in a state of sadness…why do I hold on so tightly to it? I can’t say that I’ve figured out everything and have completely let go and have moved on, but I’m working on it and have made progress.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject!
Hey Carol, you’re welcome. If you want to find out why you want to hold on, try the dialogue process I described, except not with the inner child, just try it with the part of yourself that wants to hold on. The process should be the same.
http://www.urbanmonk.net/765/t.....-dialogue/
Hi Albert, this post helped me because it prompted me to think about your topic and look for more answers. Somehow I found a link which lead me to another which lead me to a book called Forgive for Good by Frederic Luskin. It’s helped. Thanks.
Hi Me, glad it’s helped. I might go on Amazon and have a look at what others say about that book, too
Hey,
I found your site a couple of days ago and saw this article. It got stuck in the back of my head and 3 days later I had to search through my bookmarks to find the blog and article again.
I was very interested in your concept of internal change having two components; emotions and thoughts. A couple of weeks ago, I discovered Lester Levenson and I am eager to start going through his work. Having read your article, I am intrigued by Byron Katie’s way of working with thoughts instead of emotions. Which of Byron’s books best describes the technique?
Also, an interesting thing about thoughts and emotions is that they are often conflicting forces.
Thanks for the article,
Kev
Hi Jev, thanks for that
Lester’s stuff is amazing, glad you like him. Katie’s book “Loving What Is” is the best introduction to her system. The other ones include basic instructions but I would say assumes an experienced reader.
Why do you think thoughts and emotions are conflicting? Would love to hear more.
You know those moments when you REALLY want to do something but you know you shouldn’t? Or when you know you should be doing something but you REALLY don’t feel like it?
That’s when discipline comes in handy.:)
Anyway, thanks for the book title.
Thought-provoking, insightful and inspiring. I will be looking forward to reading more of your posts.
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