Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Tehseen Baweja of Recharge Your Mind. Thanks Tehseen!
We all fear time! It has become so much of a second-nature that we don’t even realize it. We never want to be late anywhere, we don’t want to waste time, we are always looking at the clock to see if we have enough of it, and we often wish we had more hours in the day.
Living with this fear of time is not healthy, physically or mentally. Sometimes, we genuinely have to rush things or worry about time because of the gravity of the situation, but for all the other times, a lot of small things that we do can lead us to unnecessary worries.
Photo Credit: ToniVC
I am not saying that after reading these tips you’ll start controlling time, nobody can; but I hope it will help minimize the fear of time, just like it did for me:
An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth.
~Bonnie Friedman
You are waiting for a bus. You know that it is supposed to be to be there in 20 minutes but you keep looking at your watch every few minutes to see what time it is. Why? You know very well that you cannot make the bus come sooner by looking at your watch again and again.
You are in the examination room waiting for the doctor to come. You know that the appointment is very important and the doctor will come whenever he has to, but you still keep looking at the time again and again like that would make things move faster.
This incessant time-tracking – when we cannot do anything to make things go faster – doesn’t do us any good except making us worry and waste our time. We keep looking at the time and miss out on a lot of other things that we could do instead.
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
~ C.S. Lewis
If you are stuck in a traffic jam, getting frustrated never makes the other cars go any faster. The traffic would free up in its own time, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, so there is zero value in getting all excited and wasting your energy. Its better instead to spend that wait time doing something that will make you feel better. Listen to your favorite music, talk to a friend or anything else that you enjoy. This will help you stop fearing these uncontrollable times and might even make you look forward to them.
“The busy man is troubled with but one devil; the idle man by a thousand”
~Spanish Proverb
My drive to work every day is an hour each way. Initially, I used to get very upset and frustrated with the traffic but then I realized I can use this time to be very productive. I use the morning drive time to listen to the news on the radio and I use the evening drive time to make any calls that I have to. In fact, sometimes I even set aside a few calls so I can make them while I am driving.
Keeping small things handy like your mp3 player, a book, a hand held game, or a puzzle significantly reduces your frustration when you are waiting for something. Another thing that I often do is to use this idle time as thinking time. I often set aside undeveloped thoughts so I can use such time to think them through and develop them. This could be a new business idea, a relationship problem I want to think through, thoughts about a new blog post or anything else that needs a good thought process.
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”
~John Lennon
Always set aside some extra time in case something unexpected happens. For example, if you know your drive to destination is 20 minutes, it won’t hurt to think of it as 25 minutes. This will give you a cushion in case the traffic is bad or you have to stop en route for something or if you get lost.
Cushion time helps reduce panic and the fear of being late. If you don’t get to use it, that’s even better because you get extra 5 minutes that you can use to get comfortable.
Take 5 or 10 minutes out of your schedule and just spend that time alone doing nothing. It can be a few minutes before you go to bed, in the morning or any other time that you can get. This “self” time helps you to reconnect with yourself. It makes you realize that you don’t always have to run after time – sometimes, time is a friend whose company you can enjoy.
Tehseen Baweja likes to write about technology, productivity and personal development. If you are looking for some tips, check out his blog at RechargeYourMind.com
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33 Comments
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Hi Tehseen
Nice post and some useful tips on dealing with the time stealers in our lives. I think taking time out for yourself is also vital.
Wise advice, Tehseen. Time is only a concept after all. There is no sense in fretting over an illusion. Much better to focus on the present moment which in my experience is all we have. If we take care of the here and now, everything takes care of itself.
Good article – we live in horrible time-scarcity. I think we have to work on adapting the basic assumption that we DO have “enough” time. And maybe throw out all the things we think we “have to” and “should” do, to make room for what we actually WANT to fill our time with. No easy task!
I actually just wrote an article on time and abundance on my blog … funny, in the last two days I’ve been noticing articles about time everywhere. We must all be on the same wavelength!
Blessings,
Andrea
Interesting article!
I totally agree with you that our modern relationship with time is quite dysfunctional.
I agree with you, that as well as having ways to “occupy” yourself during idle times, it’s also a good idea to practice just accepting the moment as it is.
Curing ourself of this false idea that some times are good and other times are boring is the ultimate aim.
Great post! Really nice tips that will surely help all of us in our daily life. Thanks for this.
I’ve found that with practicing presence, this desperate movement we have about the scarcity of time goes away. The joy of being is only in the present.
Great article, great pointers!
I’ve been a slave to this kind of behavior for years. Then my watch broke and I was without it for over a week. I realized a change in my attitude to time. I wasn’t checking it all the time. Now, if I need to know the time I check my phone or computer. But the extra effort to check the time there also keeps me from being so obsessed. Great tips, Tehseen. I like the Lennon quote!
Thank you everybody for such great comments and encouragement.
@Kaushik: Totally agree with your statement. Being in the present moment is the key. This reminds me of a great quote:
“When I’m anxious it’s because I’m living in the future. When I’m depressed it’s because I’m living in the past.”
It is clear that I need to rework my issues with time. I have been manifesting the lack of it for several years. More recently, as I relax more, I somehow find more time to do the things that I really want to do. Thanks for the helpful advice!
Nice post!
I remember an anecdote of a guy who was late for a meeting. He apologised and said he was sorry to keep the other waiting.
The other replied, “I wasn’t waiting. I never wait. I always have something to think about or, if not, I just enjoy the moment.”
@ Evelyn: I totally agree with how you feel. I think the more we relax ourselves by slowing down and enjoying things, the more productive we would be because our mind wouldn’t be pre-occupied with the fear of time.
@ Ian: That is a great anecdote. This kind of mindset takes away most of the anxiety and frustration we usually feel while waiting for something.
We have to make time our friend and nor our enemy. I’ve decided to hide the clock of my computer and see what happens, i don’t have to eat because it’s time to eat, i have to eat because i’m hungry, and that’s the principle that i’m following.
Hi, Tehseen -
One thing I remember that helps me implement what you have listed . . suffering comes when I believe things should be different than they are . . .
If I believe the traffic should be lighter instead of accepting that it is as heavy as it normally is . . .
If I believe the doctor should begin my appointment exactly on the time written in my calendar . . .
If I believe my job should never involve conflict . . .
Thanks for writing on this!
- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
Great article! How very true. It seems our society is obssessed with time today, and never having enough of it.
I think it is because we have just gotten ourselves into a pattern of “more”. More of everything and in the end, a lof of nothing. At least not much in terms of the quality of life!
Great points Tehseen and thanks Albert for this guest author’s perspective!
Hey, you have a great, informative and thoughtful blog here! I’m definitely going to bookmark you!
Hi Tehseen,
What great ideas. I use #3 a lot. If I know I’m going to have to wait in traffic or in line somewhere like the department of motor vehicles, I keep a notepad and a book in my purse. The time goes by fast and I get caught up on my list making or reading more of a good book.
I find the moment you stop worrying about time, the stress levels drop. I don’t stress out anymore if I have to wait for someone. I just spend that time looking at others hurrying to get to their next destination.
Thank you for your comments everyone!
To step back from what you think you know helps you realize what you are. Human-perceived time has nothing to do with te underlying truth. Time exists to obscure what you already know deep inside. This is a very meaningful topic. I offer an article on it here:
http://blog.dreambuilders.com......try4903166
Thank you for that comment, Liara, I’ve visited that post and left a comment there
Thanks everyone for the valuable comments and the encouragement.
Its great to see people sharing their own experiences; I strongly believe that this is the best way to learn and grow one’s self.
Setting time aside allow one to reflect on his or her’s daily actions. We spend most of our time on the go. Sitting in silence increase awareness, provides clarity and ends worry.
Great post.
I always tell myself, “it is what it is.” no need to worry about time. you can’t control it. and worrying only wastes energy.
This article is fundamentally wrong. People who are constantly “worrying bout time” are simply failing to manage their own needs effectively. They have forgotten about what is really important, disregarded what is realistically possible and are constantly tripping themselves up by trying to break the speed of reality.
That is a simple case of realistic expectations.
There is no secret to effective time management, but one must have the imagination and motivation to stop and change their behaviour and also the willingness to accept that some things can’t be compressed into a smaller time frame or carried out simultaneously.
That is a simple case of priorities.
On the other hand, the sense of panic that some people feel when they have “time to spare” is an illusion. There is no such thing as having nothing to do. A person who had entriely nothing to do would simply cease to exist. What these people really fear is the boredom which is a result of their own lack of creativity.
That is a simple case of imagination.
When we allow ourselves to decide what is realistically possible and prioritise our needs within the boundary of our lifetime, the passing of time becomes conceptually irrelevant.
Perhaps what we are really concerned about is that we have no control or prior knowledge of the point when we die. For the physical being, this is when time runs out.
It may help to think of things this way; If you were served the most delicious meal and you suddenly died before you finished it, that would not change the fact that you were enjoying it up until that point.
When you accept this truth, you will worry less about what COULD BE and spend more time enjoying what IS and celebrating what WAS.
Thank you again everyone for those great comments.
Bob, in particular, that is one of the most thoughtful and insightful comments I’ve had on the blog, and was a great read.
I love your article, it’s very interesting and I learned a lot from it. I just have a question on the last suggestion you gave about Taking Time Out For Yourself, how do you avoid distractions? Usually when I am doing nothing, silly and disturbing thoughts come to me and instead of giving me peace, I am rather agitated. How do we get rid of this?
I used to believe time was the enemy. Now I believe there is enough time to do what I want or need to do. I enjoyed the post.
Nice Post, Def. some useful pointers. Make sure that no matter what relationship you have with time, that you try and be aware and fully present in your life. If you are constantly only treating certain parts of your day as important, you will be missing and wasting all the other beautiful moments of your life.
Hey Albert!
I have been reading Urban Monk for a while now, but never got around to subscribing, I just did
I really love your blog design and the quality of your articles, they are a pleasure to read!
Congratulations for doing so well in the personal development niche
I hope that one day my blog will also rank high amongst the personal development blogs.
I see you have a lot of guest posts, would it be possible for me to write a guest post on Urban Monk?
Have a rockin’ day!
Diggy
Upgradereality
Thank you for your comments everybody!
Diggy, I’ve emailed you at the address you used to leave the comment
Hey, you have a great, informative and thoughtful blog here! I’m definitely going to bookmark you!
I’m coming up to being middle aged right now and I must admit to becoming a little obsessed with time. It’s not really me though and I’m hoping these feeling will pass as I get older.
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