Editor’s Note:This is a guest post by JC of JCD Fitness. Thanks JC!
Since the conception of man, uncertainty has plagued every great mind in existence. The fact is no one truly has any foresight into the future; therefore uncertainty is something we’ll all encounter at one point or another. Uncertainty can be in many forms and for many different reasons. We experience uncertainty with regards to the work place, the economy, our relationships and our self-image.
Uncertainty is not necessarily a negative thing as it’s essential to our growth as spiritual beings. Hell, without uncertainty, life would be pretty boring and predictable. The problem seems to lie in the way we cope with our uncertainty and how it makes us feel. In my personal experience, I’ve often found myself trying to control many situations, only being miserable as a result.
Later, at about the age of 20, I discovered the importance of letting go of my expectations. Letting go allowed me to accept the uncertainty that often comes with rigid expectations. I then experienced freedom in its purest form.
If you’ve ever seen the movie Fight Club, you will recognize this quote. To refresh your memory, this is the scene of the car ride in the rain where the narrator is yelling at his alter ego, Tyler Durden, about losing control of the road. Tyler kept letting go of the wheel and eventually yelled at the narrator to “stop trying to control everything and to just let go!”
About that time, they both put on their seatbelts and let the car do the driving. They simply let go and let the moment run its course. Their fate was a nasty collision with a parked car followed by some intense rolling down an embankment. Luckily they survived and had a ‘near-life experience.’ They were grateful for said experience and were thrilled to walk away.
The lesson we can learn from this scene is that while we generally possess a lot of control, we don’t always have to do all of the controlling. Alright, allow me to explain.
In times of uncertainty, we’re likely trying to make everything happen exactly the way we think it should. Our actions are usually reactive as opposed to being proactive. The emotional intensity is negative and likely full of resistance.
The only way we can truly experience freedom during the times of uncertainty is to let go and let the circumstances run their course. Let the chips fall where they may. We must stop trying to control everything and simply let go of what we are obsessed with controlling. How are we to know what the exact outcome should be? I find it’s ideal to have your goals and objectives in mind but maintain a very loose idea on how you might get there. After all, nothing is promised and uncertainty always abounds.
Have you ever been in a situation where something wasn’t going your way at all? It may have been a job, a relationship or a certain season in your life where you felt you had no control. If you’re like me, you may have found that once you let go of the struggle, the solution arrived fairly quickly. The funny thing is that it probably turned out better than you thought it would, even though it was not how you envisioned the resolution.
This is yet another philosophical quote from Fight Club. It’s muttered during the scene where Tyler is holding a gun to the head of the convenient store worker who dropped out of college. He (worker) claims to have dropped out because it was too hard or in his words, “too much school.” Tyler, at this point, was simply trying to wake this kid up; his goal was to push him to do something worthy with his life.
At the end of the scene, Tyler makes this comment: “Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessle’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever had.”
You see, sometimes we become so strapped and tied down emotionally to our everyday hustle and bustle that we often forget the bigger picture. Sometimes we forget about the uncertainty we are facing and neglect it altogether to grasp a sense of security (albeit false) we so desperately long for.
The problem with this type of mentality is that it only delays the reward or sometimes the disappointment. We often learn from our disappointments.
The reason Raymond will be successful is because at that moment in time, he was stripped of dignity and he feared for his life. He’ll never forget the moment death crept to his door and looked him in the face. He was more uncertain than he’d even been. However, up until this moment, he’d never really lived. He’d never really let go.
Now it’s not essential to have a near-death experience, like Raymond, to realize that we need to get off our rump and do something; however that moment of uncertainty was crucial to his experience and it will drive him until the day he dies.
Being uncertain is a part of our never-ending growth. Experiencing letdowns and setbacks in life is what makes the successes so worthwhile. There is no reason to fear the uncertain seasons in our lives; rather, we should accept and embrace them for the lessons they pose to us.
So, do you have any uncertainties you need to let go of altogether?
JC is the author of JCDFitness, where he writes about fat loss, building muscle and his relaxed approach to all things fitness. Be sure to check out his free eBook, A No-BS Approach to Looking Great Naked and follow him on Twitter.
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28 Comments
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Sedona method 101: Let go of control.
Especially when I want to tell you what you need to do to get enlightened!
Sedona method aside, as I like Hale Dwoskin, have you ever noticed how many wannabe new age gurus ask you to surrender exactly when they try to control the situation? It takes someone experiencing surrender to teach surrender. A signpost is just that.
I like the definition of Self Destruction being “fear of the loss of control”. When you’re so frightened of losing control, you try to keep control by stupid things like drugs or sabotaging control. That or have your ass so tight you get colon cancer!
Geat post, JC. I think many people don’t know the true meaning of freedom. Years ago, I would define freedom as having as much control over my life as possible. Luckily, later, I realized that freedom is the exact opposite. True freedom is something amazing and, as you said, guides you towards your goal. With freedom comes trust, I think. Nice read.
humm think i did not understood,, because when i look to my past i notice that there was times when i let the things “go”,and i get bed results ,and that make me feel angry in that ocasions ,that make me thought ohh stupid i was, why did i not done it what i wanted to do ,the way i wanted , oh again i did not controled my life , so i cant complain others !! see guys , thats why im confused this time
@carlos: yea, sometimes that’s the case. However I was referring more to situations and instances that are a lot bigger than everyday tasks(I am not really sure what you were referring to).
It’s more about knowing where you want to go or how you want something to be but letting go of the expected outcome. Just letting things happen naturally.
hope that makes sense.
The statement, “It’s Only After We’ve Lost Everything that We’re Free to do Anything,” is so very true. I learned this from experience. When I was in the chaos it felt like the end of the world but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I’m no longer rich when it comes to finances but I’m certainly richer in life. Just as it is meant to BE.
Wonderful guest post, JC. It’s really hard to deal with uncertainty, but this post really tackles the tough issue quite well. Thanks for the insights!
Ennjoyed this post very much – well written, insightful, wise and profound – the lessons here would serve us well with the current challenges people are no doubt facing. Thanks for sharing.
Great article! Letting go to let things happen. When we try to grasp to tightly is when opportunities slip through our fingers.
Ian
Nice post. Uncertainty is a complete bugger sometimes since fear of the unknown is my only everlasting fear. Letting go is a scary concept sometimes.
just wanted to make a few more comments.
First thanks to Albert for allowing me to write for UrbanMonk.
Now about uncertainty and something I’ve learned since writing this article.
The better we can accept what’s going on around us; the stuff out of our control, the better off we’ll be at molding our lives around the changes associated with these uncertain situations.
My pleasure mate, this really is a great read.
I absolutely love this kind of thing. Recently my meditation has very much so had an over-lying theme of “letting things go” and “letting things be as they are”…
These are not drawn out conscious processes of course, but are fleeting momentary occurences of accepting every moment and of releasing attachment to any thought or emotion which arises.
Have to admit I get a kick out of the fight-club references too
Cheers,
Rich
cool, I am glad you enjoyed it. Fight Club is probably my favorite movie of all time. I could watch it daily but I choose not too. I do watch it about every weekend, tho.
I read the book recently and have just gotten lost in the philosophy behind it.
Hi JC, nice post. I agree that sometimes uncertainty can drive us crazy because it is in our human nature to want to control every situation. But when we let go of expectations, we feel a lot more freedom from our our thoughts and our emotions, and life no longer feels as if we must control a hundred different things in one day.
Once I can let go, I can be free. Letting go is the hard part; not impossible but hard.
Once we do that, bliss is on it’s way.
It’s like you said, just be totally accepting and stop trying to control things. Know that there is a higher plan for what is happening even if it seems terrible. You can get there through meditation.
Thank you for this wonderful post.
I am going through a HUGE transition right now. So this post was very timely. It is definitely a period of uncertainty.
So what I did from the very start is that I gave my situation silent blessings. And the next step I inclined my thoughts towards joy, instead of listening to my mental clutter, I was happy and joyful everytime I thought about my situation. And then the last part I just surrendered. I let the higher power and the all-knowing take care of it for me. Just part of releasing and surrendering felt incredibly GREAT in my heart and my soul.
Everything unveiled itself in perfect flow. Just simply letting and go. Surrendering to the higher power helped me in my most toughest times.
Thank You for this POST =)
Love & Light
Therese Miu
Therese,
thanks for sharing. I, too, am in the middle of a transitional period.
I’ve finally just abandoned all thoughts about how I consciously feel it should go and I’m just letting circumstances run their course. I feel liberated already.
cheers
JC
Letting go can be very fear inducing, particularly when you have spent most of your life learning how to take control and to be in control. But, it is possible and totally enliberating.
I felt that I could really relate with this post. It was written very well. “It’s Only After We’ve Lost Everything that We’re Free to do Anything” is so true. Recently, I lost my mother to cancer and it inspired me to start a blog on Personal Growth and Development, called Looking For My Life. Thank you for writing this, I’m sure it will help others to become free of anxiety. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more! Thanks again.
Aaron, thanks for sharing. I’m glad the post could be of some value to you.
Great article, author!
I do agree that sometimes you can stop trying to control everything and to just let go. Because every situation of life we can gain invaluable experience. It would be wonderful to always let things happen. But it is not always possible to do so, because that might be serious consequences that can not be corrected.
We all have periods in our lives where we face the uncertainty of our future and this usually brings the emotions of anger, fear and insecurity. Once these emotions are set in place and we allow them to take over, we find ourselves in a power struggle. This power struggle is inside us, forcing us to try and control the issues of our lives. It’s a survival instinct. We simply have to know what’s going to happen so we can be prepared. But life doesn’t always work that way.
When we constantly worry about our future, we aren’t staying focused and centered in the events taking place ‘right now’. The decisions made today are what the future is based on. So if you send out worried thoughts on a daily basis, tomorrow will bring you nothing more than worried thoughts.
being too certian will destroy your life and make you bored we want some surprise in our life . if you know what goning happen, when it’s going , how to going to happen , like every baseball game, every football game , every movie , you will probably wouldn’t be very excited to seen them , we need some surpise , we want both of these emotion , we want to be certian that every is going to be great and we want to make sure that we have some fun , and alot of fun come for not being sure what is going to occur . we all need some varieties , we need certianty and we want varity and of couse can be accomplish by being creative in our life and understanding our need for both emotions and using them appropriately that is challenge in life , what is work so far may not get you in next level .
this really really great post and i enjoy it most thanks for sharing this
I suppose uncertainty is the archaic fear of the unknown which we avoid at the price of our true freedom. Thank you for the interesting article JCD.
thanks for stopping by to read it!
Control is fear, when we relinquish the illusion of control and realize we always have a choice in any situation it is completely liberating! Learn to trust your own instincts, and live free.
Great thoughts, Lyn. thanks for stopping by!
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