Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Jay Miles.
The universe is a chaotic place.
Giant chunks of rock and ice soar through its cold expanse with no destination, and no set path. Stars of unimaginable proportions on occasion explode, sending a blast of radiation in all directions that is so powerful, any nearby planetary bodies are incinerated within seconds.
Is there a purpose behind these occurrences?
Does Halley’s comet intentionally pose for the telescopes before whizzing off for another 75 years?
Does a red giant wake up one morning and suddenly just decide to go supernova?
No, because these events are caused by random physical laws that we have no way whatsoever of controlling. In other words: shit just happens.
But I think an unknown Shinto monk put it more eloquently when he said, “the only truths in this life are beauty and impermanence.”
So why then do we reject the impermanence of the ever-changing universe when it comes to our own lives?
Why do we cling to old, habits, places and people so dearly, even if they become negative influences?
Why do we place so much value in order and permanence, even if it means living a boring and monotonous existence?
The answer is simple: we fear change.
Whether it be the change of state from life to death, a change of house or even a change of wardrobe, it signifies a transition into the unknown. What we do not know, we cannot control. What we cannot control, we fear.
It is human nature that our imaginations jump to the most unpleasant outcomes: the new neighborhood will be more dangerous despite its excellent reputation; the new job will be less satisfying even if it’s doing something we’re passionate about.
Such fears are understandable, rational even, as defense mechanisms against disappointment. But is it really necessary to shield ourselves from potential hurt at the expense of being constantly afraid? Surely not.
Fear in all its forms is negative, and the fear of change is no exception.
Therefore, the key in dealing with change is to try and look past its possible negative outcomes, instead seeing what it can do for you.
In every change there is great opportunity and adventure to be found – if only you look for it. Be proactive. Be a go-getter.
Instead of fearing it, be excited for it. Instead of cowering away from it, welcome it with open arms. Savor the feeling of change; as we will see in the next section, it is part of what makes you human.
Imagine if everything stayed the same, if objects, people and ideas remained fixed in relation to each other in an unending state of permanence; how utterly boring everyone and everything around us would become.
Without an end to things there would no longer be any sense of meaning or beauty in the world. Nothing would age, wither or disappear but by the same token, nothing would be born, created or renewed.
We would be stuck in our present relationships forever, doomed to carry out monotonous task in a world that no longer knew what it felt like to experience something new and extraordinary. The words “new” and “extraordinary” would not even factor into the collective vocabulary.
Perfect order would have been achieved but at what cost?
Losing the very chaotic change that made our lives worth living in the first place?
There would be no cycles save for the never-ending cycle of ingratitude. Because how could we be expected to be grateful for things which have always been and always will be? How could we not take these things for granted if we had never experienced losing them?
Without Autumn, we would never appreciate Spring; without clouds we would never appreciate sunshine and without death, we would never truly appreciate life.
Our lives, fleeting as they are, are that much more beautiful because they end. Every second wasted is a moment in time that you will never get back, and this gives us motivation to make the most of them. We are able to enjoy each sunset and savor each meal because we have so little time to do so.
On the other hand, if you lived forever, I guarantee that after the first couple of hundred years, the most pristine Hawaiian sunset would seem like a bad postcard, and the finest rump steak would taste like airplane food.
Realize that no matter how much we may try to avoid change – no matter how much we may wish that things would stay the same – it is and always will be a part of our lives.
Change is inevitable.
Our only choice in the matter is whether to accept it amicably, or be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the next chapter of our existence.
Jay Miles began blogging after a chance meeting with a legless old man in the streets of Bangkok changed his life in a very real, very fundamental way.
His blog, Mind the Gap, chronicles his journey of self-discovery as he attempts to live his life with one overriding theme: love yourself.
Check out his latest post: Living the Impossible
UrbanMonk.Net provides comprehensive articles for your personal development - modern life, entwined with ancient spirituality.
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Thats why i never get to attached to anything that i own. That fancy shirt you bought is going to get wine on it eventually.
It’s best to just accept these things instead of getting angery.
Awesome post Jay… it felt like a tribute to change, which is beautiful
Good combo. Personally I’m always more and more comfortable with change, and I love it when others reach that as well.
@Joe – That’s a really good point. Nothing good ever comes out of getting angry about things ultimately beyond our control.
@Jason – Thanks Jason. I couldn’t be more comfortable with change; it’s what keep things interesting after all
The first part of the blog is one of the best lines I have ever read. Thanks Jay for penning them here.
Almost like an ode to change. But how many of us are ready to change our mindset and even truly love this post? We cling on…still…till we are forced to let go or have no strength to hold on.
Maybe, is change a game, which the universe plays to defeat us every time…to finally make us seek the impermanent? For all my philosophy, I have to admit that I still find it difficult to accept change…!
@Kols – Wow, that is a quite a compliment. Thank you.
If the universe is as cruel as you suggest, I don’t think it would be very much of a “game”; a game would suggest we actually have a chance of winning! I would think it would be more like a maze in which the universe places a piece of cheese for us to find – the only trouble is, the walls of the maze keep shifting and we are constantly forced to adapt.
If you want to get really philosophical, why not invoke Descartes’ Method of Doubt? By this method, there is a possibility that nothing actually exists; this would mean that change is just an illusion because the things it affects are not real in the first place.
Ouch. I went on a bit of a tangent there. Brain-ache.
Really awesome post! I like thinking about this subject. I also see change as an opportunity to experience faith…faith that I am bigger than my fears, faith that everything I need is within me and faith that moving through change with grace has always served me in the past.
I’m going to be picky. The unknown doesn’t scare us – the fantasies we make up to fill the unknown scare us.
As you say, it is the negative possibilities that we fear; not change itself.
Thanks for a thought provoking post.
@Evan – Your pickiness is most welcome.
After writing a 20-line response arguing against your comment, I realized you were right all along.
It is indeed the fantasies we fear rather than the change itself.
Without sufficient knowledge to conjure up even the vaguest fantasies of what lies beyond a change, I very much doubt that we would be able to fear the outcome of that change.
Thanks.
I dig the post Jay. I’ve gone within “and” outside of myself to actually answer the question, “Why do we cling to old habits or fear change?”
(My) Truth is we look to have our primary emotional needs met at all costs until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change. The fear of pain on whatever level can be a bitch.
“Stop rationalizing and start telling yourself the truth. If you feel bad, you have to do something to change but If you feel good then you don’t have to change and you lose your drive.
Many people are constantly trying to make themselves feel good without changing anything.“-Tony Robbins
I believe that sums up a lot of peoples experience. Their primary need of certainty is met even if it is just in the moment and the pain eventually gets so bad or their standard of living drops through the floor.
“Willingness” is the gateway to higher states of consciousness (The higher self). It’s a quality of the heart not the mind. This is a shift of aligning ones self with their purpose or dharma. Fear isn’t a factor when your thoughts, actions and words are all in alignment with a higher purpose. Something bigger than yourself.
“Nothing is likely to help a person overcome or endure troubles than the consciousness of having a task in life.” -Victor Frankl
I love the concept from Victor because when aligned with such a task (purpose), the things we would experience without the “task” would seem daunting and vicious and change would be scary. But when your needs of significance, contribution and love & connection are met through your “life task” change can seems to be facilitated much easier or at least the sting is taken off when done with a group who think alike and support you.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”-Carl Jung
I quote Carl because I thought it relevant not only to my reply but also your reply to Kols and referencing Descartes’ Method of Doubt.
Truly I question is anything actually “real?” In fact I believe it “is” all an illusion. It’s an illusion as I believe we create our heaven or hell based on how we perceive that illusion.
Ahh the serious tangent I could go on but as Albert already knows I’m known for my “book long” responses and maybe we’ll leave that for another post.
Thank you for a thought provoking post my friend. Good stuff.
@Jay: Hmmm…thought-provoking point Jay. So your comfort level with change is forever ‘unchanging’ ? lol
I like it.
To me, change is involved in keeping life interesting, but “comfort with change” alone is not my favorite part of it.
I feel that the ‘interest’ in life comes from the *feeling* of becoming _more comfortable_ with more change on a grander scale or in a different area of life, personally.
Standard, bland, continuous unchanging comfort that can never grow in degree or spectrum sounds the exact opposite of interesting.
Again, I really love that you wrote this tribute and got us all talking and thinking and appreciating change. How beautiful, rock on man.
@ Tony: lol! I love your long responses. Very thought-provoking comment too, love Jung’s quote.
@Tony – Thanks for a long and awesome comment – you have some great quotes there mate. I also love the parentheses of “my” before “truth”. Our perceptions are often warped by prejudice and bias; it is the mark of a great man who can identify these within himself.
And you’re right about the importance of having some higher goal or task in life. If you are working towards something, you not only do not fear change, you wish for it.
I have to agree with Albert on the Jung quote; simply beautiful.
@Jason – Comfortable was perhaps the wrong word to use.
I would like to think that my own “comfort level” is forever changing as well because you’re right; that’s what keeps things interesting!
There will always be fluctuations in how anyone feels about change, depending on it’s magnitude and also whether it is positive or negative.
Loving your comments here man.
@Tony + Albert: I agree, great comment, and great Jung quote
@Jay: So you made a “word-change” then, way to practice what you preach man.
I’m really loving the discussion generated here.
So. Awesome.
Regarding icy asteroids and immolation from doomed and distant stars, consider that this Universe is the one that works. Others, with less randomness may have failed in previous pasts, but ours, with its explosions, and requisite chaos succeeds, and it delivers the exquisite opportunity for our lifetimes. Why chaos? Because too much order would have stagnated us back at the annelids. If angels pushed us out of crosswalks in the nick of time, we’d all drive like freaks, and cars would have no seatbelts, and that’s no way to run a world
The most successful people are those who build some room for change into their plans. This applies to business plans, investment plans, employee hiring, and other endeavors. Plan to bend like the reed in the wind.
@Big Toe – Reminds of Agent Smith’s dialogue with Morpheus in The Matrix.
In it he explains why the machines didn’t just create a perfect world for humans while they farmed them for electricity: it is in our nature to reject such a system on a subconscious level. Only a system that was sufficiently chaotic and unpredictable would be “real” enough for us to accept and thus around which form a new reality.
Maybe Smith was right in that, due to the chaotic nature of the universe, humans, who find themselves part of this system and having been created by it, have an intrinsic need for change.
Embrace change – Become an anarchist!
Smash! Crash! Kaboom!
Right on Bob!
Change, change, change, change, change. I like change.
But comparing Hawaiian sunsets and rump steak to bad postcards and airplane food? You know what, since I don’t believe you, I think I’ll live a couple hundred years to prove you wrong
Heh, thanks for your comment Arthur
@Arthur – It’s on. 5 Pesos say you don’t make it past 200 though
A lovely written, enjoyable article Thank you. The hard thing of course is that the grades of fear depends on past traumas. It is ‘easier for some to tackle certain fears than for others to tackle to same fear. There is also the physical side of fear to consider ie what if blood pressure raises dangerously in certain fearful situations due to the stress caused by the fear?
Just as I expected, you’re one of those people who start with the excellent observation that the law of life is change, not stagnation, but aren’t careful enough with their logic and end up making this fatal and rather disgusting mistake:
“Our lives, fleeting as they are, are that much more beautiful because they end.”
No, they’re not. LIFE ITSELF is what’s beautiful, i.e. continuous change. Death means that change stops, it’s by no means beautiful, it’s the exact opposite of beautiful, just like suddenly turning into stone would be, or like living forever in the exact circumstances you have now (assuming you consider yourself happy with what you have now). Death is just another form of stagnation and ugliness, it’s not beautiful in any way, shape or form.
We’re ar a time in history when technological developments are promising to start adding entire decades to our lifespans. The kind of death-cultist belief I quoted above is completely incompatible with this (near) future of the human condition and should stop being repeated over and over again as if we were still hopeless apes with no understanding about our bodies and what can (conceivably) be done with them.
To Donjoe
Maybe you’re right maybe not. Life is certainly not beautiful for everyone, indeed for many it is hell and death a way out. The art of life is to tame your thoughts so that they built a beautiful reality for you. That’s hard. WE can continue this discussion directly on magdelane.heart@yahoo.co.uk.
“Life is certainly not beautiful for everyone”
Irrelevant. The exception is not the general principle, it’s just an exception. Think harder.
“WE can continue this discussion directly on magdelane.heart@yahoo.co.uk”
I have no interest in private discussions about the very public problem of widespread death-cultist propaganda that says “death is good” and prevents anti-aging medicine from gaining significant political and financial support.
@ Magdalene: Thank you for that thoughtful response.
@ donjoe: I’m not sure where you got the impression from this article that I worship death, and I was going to ask you in the spirit of debate and discussion, but after your rather rude response to Magdalene’s kind comment, I have to ask you to keep things civil. Debate and disagreement is always welcome, but harshness is not, especially to another reader. Please keep your next comments civil or they will be deleted.
They were civil (I didn’t say anything bad about any particular person), you just happened to disagree with them. There’s a difference.
Brilliant and Beautiful!
Thanks Crystal!
I had no idea comments here were still flowing and I apologize for not keeping up.
@ donjoe: Hi there, I’m the author of this article and if you’ll allow me, I’d like a chance to defend my “disgusting” view that death, at least in part, is responsible for life’s beauty.
Firstly, it should be noted by readers that the concept of death was not in any way intended as the focus of this article. Instead, the aim of “Beauty Lies in Impermanence” was to address change as a whole; a whole of which dying is a very small part. Also from your anti-ageing rhetoric (which teeters on the fine line of propaganda with your “death-cultist” accusations), it is clear you have an agenda. I could counter this very easily by asking why you thought we deserved what little lifespan we have, let alone a much-extended one when we are screwing up the planet so badly, but I will save that for another comment should you wish to discuss it.
Secondly, in order to engage you, I may have to lapse into some pretty dense language which to some can seem academic and mundane. Just a friendly warning.
Now, let me start the argument by saying that I agree with your first line (at least half of it anyway) about life itself being beautiful. However, that’s just about where my amicability ends. What you fail to realize, Don, is that “living” (just like “death” in this article) is just a small part of the all-encompassing universe. Indeed it was from the chaotic laws of the universe that molecules came together in just the right combination (depending on what you believe) to form the first organic compounds, which in turn formed the first life forms. Therefore, it would be more accurate to say that the universe is beautiful due to its impermanence and that life, having been created from this entity, derives its beauty from it.
Do not make the mistake of saying life contains change. Rather acknowledge the fact that life is change. Life is the constant shifting of electrons, protons and neutrons, it is the complex relationships between cells, tissues, enzymes and proteins; all driven by conscious thought. Amazing as such change is, one must realize it is just a part of the infinite change that is the universe. There was change before life, and there will be change long after it has gone. So too there was and will be beauty.
Now that we have roughly outlined my idea of life, let’s look at how death fits into this equation. You commit the logical fallacy of assuming death is the antithesis and/or absence of life when in fact, paradoxical as it may sound, they are inextricably linked. Life, as a manifestation of change, is a cycle. You’re born; you develop language ability and acquire knowledge; you mature into an adult; you age, becoming “old”. And then you die. Death, like birth, like ageing, is just one stage in this cycle.
As for what you call “stagnation” or “ugliness” try to conceive, if you can, the time before you were born. Imagine the billions of particles that constitute your body swirling around the cosmos. They were planets, stars, asteroids, gases, liquids and solids before they combined perfectly to form you. And guess what? After you die they’ll embark on a new journey, joyriding on an inter-stellar road trip of universal proportions. Tell me, Don, does that sound like “stagnation” to you?
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