What are we to do with our afflictive emotions? Do we push them away, change the thoughts that cause them, accept them, or heal them? In the midst of all these conflicting advice, perhaps there is a middle path. Additionally, this is a guide to using cognitive techniques – when, not how.
Guilt is the source of much sorrow; the driving force behind a constant mental whipping, a constant stinging. And from whom? Who holds the whip?
What is one to do? Is one helpless? This is a guide that will make a difference.
Guilt is, simply put, a wrong notion. Guilt is paralysing, destructive. You think you have done something you shouldn’t have; you hadn’t done something you should have.
Guilt is the false idea that you could have done better; that you had the power to choose. But if you look deeply into it, you will see that you were helpless. There was simply no choice.
This is another follow up to the original emotional mastery series. It was written to help with the readers who had troubles with the methods presented. This post will provide some booster techniques and a third method of handling the emotions – releasing them.
In the original series, I described the basic process of clearing out negative emotions by truly feeling and embracing them. What if it doesn’t work? What if they return? Many pains run deeper than you might think, and require extra work to uncover and heal. If we don’t go deep enough, they will arise again and again, sometimes after a period of relief. So: I present to you a few methods to deepen your mastery of negative emotions.
The tattooed muscle-bound fighter across the ring glared at me with narrowed eyes. I calmly looked back, savoring the smell of the boxing ring we were in, basking in the adulation of the beautiful women who had come to watch me fight. As the bell rang to signify the start of the fight, I glided across the canvas towards my opponent.
Emotional suffering is often disguised by your mind. What about dealing with unwanted urges – smoking, unhealthy foods, lust? How do we recognise and deal with these?
This is my own take on a Buddhist meditation named Tonglen. It literally means “giving and taking”. It transforms your pain, as well as others’, into love. It softens the heart, brings forgiveness for yourself and others, and after a while (for me at least) makes you feel completely blissed out.
Have you been consciously accepting and watching your suffering, letting them transmute into peace? If so, then you are ready for the final step. What is this final key, grasshopper? Love. When you love your suffering, when you embrace them, you can finally let them go.
One of the biggest troubles we can ever face in becoming free of unhappiness is our ego. Often, the ego has become attached to our suffering, we cling to it and don’t want to let go. How do we identify these traps and overcome them?
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