In the previous post, we spoke of the importance of developing personal boundaries. The question remains, then – how? This post covers recognition, reflection, preparation, and finding the internal courage; all important preparatory steps.
What are boundaries? Are they a sign of selfishness, or a sign of strength? Is saying yes a sign of weakness, or a sign of generosity and compassion?
Boundaries can come in many different forms, but at its core, they simply involve saying No. No to giving something you don’t want to give; no to behaving in a certain way; no to being treated in a way that will hurt your heart, your body, your totality.
The fundamental difference between living your dream and stagnating is fear. Fear of losing it all; fear of what another might think; fear of being less than enough.
This is a guide with practical techniques to overcoming these fears – psychological methods, with a touch of Zen.
We never, ever, see the world as it is. Our awareness – our beliefs, past conditionings, upbringing, the list goes on – these distort everything we see. One of the most painful misinterpretations lies in self-perception. Weaknesses are magnified, assets and strengths are ignored. This leads to low self-esteem; a strong feeling of inadequacy and constant unhappiness.
Here is a mixture of cognitive psychology techniques and Zen, that will make a difference.
Self Esteem – it has to begin with compassion for oneself, stopping our self-violence in our actions and our thoughts. Here are the psychological perspective and techniques to change your life around.
The first step towards compassion is to cease the judgement of value. It is so insidious, so destructive – it hurts everyone involved. You bottle them up, you stick them in a bottle, and put a sticker on it – you’ve killed them.
Everything we do has to start with us – personal effectiveness, personal power, assertiveness and self-esteem all begin with self-compassion, acceptance and love. Even if your goals are external, it still has to begin from the inside out. We shall go into the practical methods of developing personal power and acceptance right in this post.