Most of us are uncomfortable with strong displays of emotions in others, in our loved ones. We ask a few polite questions when we see they are upset, and let it be – but it is not enough. What contributes to unconditional acceptance? Allowing them their full experience with respect and dignity.
There are obstacles – inner impulses – that prevent the gentle miracle of unconditional, non-judgemental, attention. Be mindful, can you catch these impulses when they arise, let them fall away again without acting on them?
If we are alert enough, we’ll notice that we are always on guard. We watch our words; we watch our actions; we don’t express our beliefs. But have we ever stopped to see what we are really doing? We’re cutting, trimming, and breaking ourselves – we spend our entire lives alienated from ourselves.
The next time we are with our lover or our child, there is a question we can ask ourselves – how do we truly love them?
What a strange question! The foundations of loving, healing and nurturing, are simple: gentle attention and non-judgemental acceptance.
How do we deal with the various intrusions on our boundaries? This post goes in slightly more depth, outlining unskilful response styles, and detailing a healthy and mature response.
Have you ever been convinced into doing or buying something you later regretted? Have you ever stopped halfway through a favour for a friend, and thought – “Why did I even agree to this?”
Chances are someone has used one of these techniques on you.
When we are in the depths of our loneliness, what comforts us – what could possibly take us away? What, indeed? So often, it feels like there is no solace; like we are running from our own shadow. And it is true, in a way. There is no escape from being alone. We are always alone. But there is a way out of loneliness.
Gautama Buddha once said: ” I teach one thing and one only: that is, suffering and the end of suffering.”
And what causes this suffering? He answers this question in his four Noble Truths: “The origin of suffering is attachment.”
How do we overcome attachment, then? The strangest thing of all – the one thing that we think causes attachment.
In this post, we’ll deal with situations where someone else is involved. Although I will refer to the other person as the “opponent”, this doesn’t have to apply to competition only. What situation in your life could do with an action plan? Is it sports, martial arts, a business meeting, a date, or maybe even making up with someone you had an argument with? These are obviously more complicated than we dealt with previously – but much more fun!
Touch, properly applied, can heighten the entire range of human interaction. We go in-depth into a sex and love, parent-child touch, and the secrets to a proper handshake.
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