UrbanMonk.Net provides an additional voice on recreating yourself gently from the inside out. From inner joy and self-esteem to outer success and romance, all change begins from deep inside you.

  • This site has been reported by readers to have made a drastic change in their inner lives. It has helped many find love, gratitude, and compassion. For others, the site has helped with everything from everyday frustrations and troubles to stronger symptoms like depression and anxiety.
  • Our external world has been covered extensively as well; you can find information on a myriad of other topics – from passion and purpose in life, to romance, loneliness, and social skills.
  • The material here draws upon modern psychology, ancient spirituality, and everything in between – with a practical twist. Everything used here has been tested and proven to make a tremendous difference in my own life.
  • While there is enough material in here for a full book, new content is being added regularly. Please subscribe now for free – to get updates the moment I post them.

What do you want out of your life? Let the choices below guide you to the appropriate sections.

Note: This page collects the bigger series as an introduction, and do not represent all the blog has to offer. Many articles are more specialised – these can be accessed in the full archives.

Emotional Mastery

Perhaps the most important series on this site, I believe the first step to finding joy is to stop running away from all our sorrows and frustrations. Turn around and face them, and in doing so, heal them. Inner joy will begin to come naturally. Prolonged work in this area has allowed me to permanently beat everything from depression and rage to everyday unhappiness. The follow-up posts focus on going deeper to find your core wounds and insecurities, as well as focus on specific emotions and obstacles.

Guilt and Self-Punishment

Guilt is one of the most insidious and common afflictive emotions. This series provides a different perspective, a realisation that can provide a sudden freedom from the sadness and torment.

Unconditional Acceptance For Your Loved Ones

The next time we are with our lover or our child, there is a question we can ask ourselves – how do we truly love them? The next time we look at ourselves, our past, we can ask – how do I truly heal, how do I truly grow and move on? What strange questions! The foundations of loving, healing and nurturing are simple: gentle attention and non-judgemental acceptance. Yet how many of us can give them; how many of us know how it feels to receive them?

Love and Romance

A fine compliment, a positive counterpart, to the Emotional Mastery series, this series begins with finding love. Many of our attempts to find love are fundamentally flawed, for we have not begun with the most important person. Self-love is the key to true self-esteem. Additionally, we cover loneliness and attachment – fundamental issues in any relationship, or lack of one.

Compassion

Compassion is the result of a rising consciousness. It has to be happen naturally; or pain and suffering might be the result. What are the perils of compassion; what does the flower of genuine compassion look like? Closely entwined with the Love series, this series is one of the most popular amongst readers.

Setting Personal Boundaries

One of the most important steps in ones journey is learning how to protect ourselves, to give ourselves a space to heal and strengthen. And yet are personal boundaries a sign of selfishness? This series explores the topic in detail, together with solid strategies to build your boundaries and when the time comes relax them.

Attachment and Desire: The Root of Suffering

To end human suffering, we must first understand it. A very special man discovered, a long time ago, that most of our pain stems from attachment, or desire. What have we been holding on to? What have we been craving? This concept can be hard to accept and understand – this series explores this concept in our lives, and builds into a different series on removing it.

Behavioural Mastery

Most of the ways we try to change our habits and behaviours – ranging from inappropriate displays of anger, to smoking, and even to reliving painful memories – actually cause repression. A follow-up to the Attachment series, although it can be read alone, this series explores a long term method of changing from the inside. The series then goes into the causes of our behaviours, and some “quick-fix” methods for the times we really need to stop now.

Mental Mastery and Cognitive Distortions

Based on the current force in therapy and psychology – Cognitive Therapy – this is in many ways a follow up to the previous works on emotional mastery and the ego. With both the emotional and mental series in your toolbox, I believe there is no area of our inner world that will remain unchanged for the better. This series involves reframing and finding the painful distortions in our perceptions and thoughts, and empowers us to take positive action and find a measure of peace.

Stopping Negative thoughts

A cousin to the above series, this draws on an ancient sutra, combined with modern psychological techniques, to provide a comprehensive list of practical techniques to calm your unruly mind.

A Guide to The Work of Byron Katie

One of the most powerful systems of examining our stressful thoughts and beliefs – undoing them – is The Work of Byron Katie. Similar to cognitive techniques, but working at a far deeper level, this simple system can sometimes be misunderstood and misused. This series presents a personal guide, covering tips on how to really change on a deeper level, as well as common misunderstandings and misuses.

Passion and Purpose in Life

One of the most frequent important questions raised revolves around finding passion and purpose in life. This series draws from many sources – ranging from the current positive psychology movement, ancient spirituality, and notably from the works of one of the greatest thinkers – Aristotle. It covers many aspects of the search – the inner end goal, your own purpose, and the biggest error we make in selecting a purpose. It also includes a comprehensive post on overcoming the fears and obstacles in your way.

Greatness and Success

A companion series to the above, this series take a look at a different definition of success and greatness. Do we compare ourselves to others, do we hinder them? Do we think we need to struggle to get to where we want to go? What are some alternatives – powerful choices that will make a difference in getting to where you want to be?

Gratitude

Gratitude is not just a spiritual phenomenon; recent psychological studies have proven that the sustained practice of gratitude makes a significant difference in our lives and happiness. How do we practice it, and what exactly does it do? How can we use it to get what we want?

Visualisation

Another powerful tool in getting to where you want to be is visualisation. This is not just a metaphysical technique; it is part of sports psychology and has been put to use by world-level athletes, businessmen, and other success stories. Develop your visualisation and also find a few methods of applying them – an action plan, and especially in asserting yourself.