Nine historically correct rotten leadership tactics
Popular conceptions of current lousy leaders include all politicians, including dictators, warlords and rebels, by whatever percentage doesn’t agree with them; persons of the cloth, by whatever percentage doesn’t agree with them; and everyone else in major or minor leadership positions by whatever percentage doesn’t agree with them.
Why Learning Is A Leader’s Most Important Skill
Since I’ve done this many times in groups I am accustomed to what I will hear or read. These lists typically include: Leaders must have vision, they must be compassionate, they must be good communicators, they must build relationships, they must work well in teams, they must be powerful persuaders…and many other similar sentiments. All are excellent observations.
Diffusing Anger
No matter how hard we may try to avoid a volatile situation, there will come a time when you have to deal with an angry person. Whether it’s a boss, co-worker, team member, associate, employee, customer, or even a friend, at some point you will have to handle both the anger and the underlying issues.
Using Cultural Models to Change Organisational Culture
My experience is that it can. Changing corporate culture undoubtedly requires leadership. It is useful, however, for leaders to be able to build a picture of the change required using a model of the culture. Models of a corporate culture tend to be of two types.
School sans learning
I see parents and schools setting students up for failure in college, and this worries me. Entering students do not know how to study. They do not know how to do work outside of class. They do not know how to use outside resources. They have such a poor vocabulary that many words that are routinely used in technical fields go completely over their heads.
Ducks In A Row: Culture? Ask A Worm
Company culture is a hot topic in the business press; CEOs are working to foster cultures of innovation and culture is being lauded or blamed for a variety of happenings. The bird's eye view of what’s important in culture is as varied as the executives, academics, pundits, media and other experts who expound on the subject.
What Makes A Successful Team?
The organisational structure of a team is important. Who does what, how one job relates to another, the lines of reporting and communication – all affect effectiveness. This is something to continually re-assess. Any, even slight, incongruities about the way people are organised can easily dilute overall effectiveness.
Leadership’s Future: Entitled To Good Grades
A recent study by researchers at the University of California, Irvine, found that a third of students surveyed said that they expected B’s just for attending lectures, and 40 percent said they deserved a B for completing the required reading. Nearly two-thirds of the students surveyed said that if they explained to a professor that they were trying hard, that should be taken into account in their grade
Symptoms Of The Fear Of Poverty
Commonly expressed through lack of ambition willingness to tolerate poverty acceptance of whatever compensation life may offer without protest mental and physical laziness lack of initiative, imagination, enthusiasm and self-control INDECISION. The habit of permitting others to do one's thinking. Staying on the fence. DOUBT. Generally expressed through alibis and excuses designed to cover up, explain away, or apologize for one's failures.
5 Blogging Ups, 5 Blogging Downs, and 10 Blogging Tips
The past few articles have gotten a bit hot and heavy. The blog, and my dear readers, need a break before everyone collapses under the weight of all that Love, Compassion, Loneliness, Depression, and all the other nonsensical ramblings. All my other prepared material are just as heavy, so let's take a short sabbatical and put a different kind of post. Not all the emails I get are about spirituality and emotions and all that I get quite a lot who ask me about blogging.
QUIT: Letting My Inner Penelope Overtake My Inner Cordelia
You may know me as Cordelia, but actually, I have a dual personality. And recently, the two personalities have been getting into some scuffles. Cordelia is who I want to be she's the cutthroat, take-no-prisoners rebel who is writing a novel, quitting things left and right, and will one day escape the 9-5 altogether. She's laser-focused, super-driven, and on a mission, punk. My other personality is neurotic, easily frustrated, and wastes too much energy on things that ultimately don't matter.
5 weeks to developing the magic of visualisation
Want to experience something magical for free Find a piece of string, and hold it in your fingers lightly, letting it dangle. Wait for the string to stop moving. Now, keeping your muscles still, imagine that you are spinning the string around. What happened Most likely, you'll find the string began to move too just a little. Magic Not really. Sorry I lied But it displays the effectiveness of visualization.
Progress Report: T-Minus Till Part-Time
These progress reports feel like they've been coming rapid-fire since I embarked on my Freelance or Bust journey. It seems like just yesterday, I was dumbfounded to be able to take my Freelance Fridays off, and it was only a wee month ago that I got the Brazen Assistant Editor position that had me debating whether part-time would be around the corner. It wasn't, just then.
Free* Money Series: Online Surveys
If you like expressing your opinion about everything from shopping to food to politics (and some really random odd topics in between), survey taking can be a fun way to bring in a little extra cash. I will warn you up front that it takes some patience. You may have to try a fair number of surveys before you find one you qualify for. (Most surveys let you know within a few questions in if you don't.
Free Fridays Guidelines
Today begins my Free Fridays Summer. (What-WHAT ) And, like the Penelope I am, I feel the need to set some ground rules for my Free Fridays. Not just because of said Penelopeness. But because these Fridays are free for a reason . I have so many things I want to accomplish this summer. And as much as this experiment is also for decompressing I want to make sure I accomplish them. I know my natural tendency.
Your Guide to Calling It Quits: Because there are better things to do with your life
We all put up with things we know make us miserable. Bad habits that drag us down. Bad attitudes that make our days suck. Obligations we no longer believe in, standards we don't agree with, responsibilities we never signed up for. The grown up, Real World life is (as far as they say) all about compromise, settling, and learning to deal with the fact that no one is ever really happy. Well, I hate to break it to you, but they don't know jack shit.
Why You Should Quit the Toxic People in Your Life, Pronto
You've heard that before, I'm sure, and probably took it to mean what most people take it to mean If you hang out with losers, you yourself are more likely to become a loser. If you hang out with winners, you're more likely to become a winner. And etc. You know, the sort of stuff your parents told you when explaining why you could hang out with your straight-A-student friend as often as you liked, but your black-eyeliner-wearing, rumored-to-be-a-smoker friend was off-limits.
Why Losing Nearly Everything Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
This past year, I've called it quits on an epic level I never expected or anticipated and not willingly. I called it quits on my freelance career in an ill-advised foray back into the 9-to-5, hoping it would salvage our precarious financial situation. My sanity called it quits on me as I quickly remembered why the 9-to-5 is not the place for me, while watching my sacrifice do nothing for our bank account because one income and a disabled spouse's medical bills don't play well together when...
Was Wrong: Quitting Your Job Won't Make You Happy
It will get worse before it gets better. But there is a happy ending, if you're willing to stick around for it. Are you ready to read about why everything I've said on this blog over the past 3.5 years has been hypocritical and misguided Awesome. Then let's begin How I've Messed Shit Up Ever since I quit the day job to freelance full-time, things have felt off. It wasn't what I thought it would be. It didn't feel amazing.
How to Get Off Your Hustling-Yet-Sedentary Freelancing Butt and MOVE, for Chrissake!
I never would have considered my day job as a paralegal to be a particularly active position, but now that I've been a full-time freelancer for a month, I've come to realize how infinitely more sedentary it is at least for someone like me. At my day job, there were plenty of things that forced me to get up and move about on occasion visiting someone's office to ask a question, going downstairs to use the copier, carrying heavy file folders from one place to another.
Why You Shouldn't Give a Shit What Successful People Eat for Breakfast
12 Things Successful People Do Before Breakfast 11 Daily Habits of Exceptionally Successful People 5 Nighttime Routines of Successful Entrepreneurs These are just a sampling of actual headlines from the million and one articles out there that promise you ultimate success and fortune if you eat the same breakfast cereal as Warren Buffet or wait to poop until the mid-evening like Mark Cuban.
Why I Turned Down an Offer for My Dream
Last week, I turned down what could have been my dream job. Or, rather, what would have been my dream job a couple years ago, but was now almost my dream job, but not quite the more I started to think about it. I will explain (then tell you what it means to you skip to the last section if you're a skimmer 'cause it's a lesson you need to hear) The Gig Through an acquaintance (networking and word of mouth work, kids), I was introduced to someone looking for an Editor-in-Chief for a well-visited...
How to Deal When Everything's Not OK
Some people wear their smile like a disguise. Those people who smile a lot, watch the eyes. I know it 'cause I'm like that a lot. You think everything's OK, and it is 'til it's not. Ani Difranco, Outta Me, Onto You That blast from the past (from the days when I wielded song lyrics like personal mottos) has been in my head since last week.
Why I'm No Longer Writing for Lifehack A Lesson on How to Run a Blog
I contribute regularly to a number of different sites. Many of them are paid gigs (that's how mama brings home her bacon). But some of them, like Brazen and Lifehack, I do free of charge because they bring something every bit as valuable as , if not more so traffic. Note I do get paid for my duties as Assistant Editor for Brazen, but my bi-monthly posts are written with no compensation. I'll admit I haven't been as good lately as I wanted to be when it comes to my Lifehack posts .
QUIT: Letting My Social Anxiety
You'd never guess it from the loudmouthed sasspot I am on this blog, but I am broken socially. Everyone gets nervous in certain social situations. Meeting new people, going on an interview, speaking in front a large crowd that's normal. But I'm not nervous only in normal situations. I'm nervous around people I know and love quite well. Nervous around friends (even my best friends). Nervous around family.
How Freelancing Actually Makes Me Better with Money
Freelancing isn't a get-rich-quick scheme by any means. In fact, you've gotta be prepared to make some sacrifices and take some hits in order to get a freelance biz off the ground and then to keep it running, month after month after month. Our budget changed dramatically once I went down to part-time at the office job.
5 Signs You're on the Way to Burnout City and How to Escape If You're Already There
Midway from ennui to nervous breakdown, at the junction of I Can Do This road and Are You Sure About That highway, lives a crappy little town I've spent way too much of my life in. (And you may have, too.) It's overpopulated, but no one really wants to be there. Its souvenirs friggin' suck. (You know those all I got was this crappy shirt shirts Yeah, not even those.) It's been the ruin of many a poor hustler. And its name Is Burnout City.
Sometimes You Need to Go into Energy Saver Mode
It happens to all of us, even if especially if you're an overly ambitious, mile-a-minute hustler used to tackling everything in her path with hysterical vim. Shit piles up. Things go wrong. Things break. You start to chip around the edges. You keep pushing, but it wears on you.
Why We're Scared of Being Happy And How to Get Over It
Recently, I've started waking up with a feeling that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. It's a strange feeling, a foreign one, and I'm more than a little nervous to be having it. That feeling is something I suspect might be called contentment. And apparently, I'm not quite sure what to do with it.
Decision Making
Decisions, decisions, decisions Decision Making is all about that thing that challenges us day in, day out. How to make the right decision. And how often has this activity been so tough, that no decision at all is the outcome Yet it need not be this way. Many people make Decision Making much harder than necessary. In this page we try to put some of those mysteries to bed and give you some clues for the way forward. In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do.
Leadership Styles
Leadership Styles vary enormously, but there is one overriding quality that is vital in all top leaders The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves Ray Kroc - founder of McDonalds Top Ten Things About Leadership Styles There are many sorts of Leadership Styles out there, some of them are brilliant, some less so Here are the best traits of the best of them -Top leaders Are Visionary Top leaders have a very clear understanding of where the organisation is going...
Creating A Winning Culture
So, what is a 'Winning Culture ' and what do we mean by it And why is Creating A Winning Culture important or necessary Culture is all about the unerring heartbeat of your business, which when running nice and smoothly needs little attention, except nutrition and TLC.Creating A Winning Culture is all about his little story In 1997, just before Christmas, my wife was taken quite ill, very suddenly.
Performance Management
Do the words Performance Management strike fear in your heart Have you the shakes when the very words are mentioned Well, here is a few clues about how you can make it not just painless, but easy and positive experience - for all involved The time has come Performance Management is about having everyone succeed and improve. Robert Bacal It is supposed to be a positive, generative thing - growing your people and their performance.
Feedback is a Gift
Feedback is a gift - when done properly.The very word strikes fear into the hearts of millions of workers every day, because the only time they get feedback is when it is rolled by a manager who wants to criticise - yet put a bit of positive spin on it.Ever been there.I know I have and it sets off that internal groan, because you know just what's coming.Feedback is a gift - remember that at the start of this piece It can be a gift where used constructively, consistently and with goodwill.
Show Your Boss the Way!
Building relationships is vital in business. When you are employed and have a boss it's even more critical, because you have an incentive to get the best from your boss - and the onus is on you.For bosses, try on this as a set of expectations your people have from you.You are limited in how much control you can have in the employed world. Much is passed down to you and this can feel frustrating because you feel 'done to' without any input in how your experience, day-by-day, goes for you.
Dealing With Difficult People
Dealing with Difficult People is one of the most challenging aspects for running businesses and teams. As if that's not enough, it's is also a very emotional issue and very time consuming.So is it any surprise that in Dealing with Difficult People the easy option is simply to not do it Does that ring a bell Yet if you look around, there are those who find this a lot less of a problem.
Build Rapport Fast - Eight Easy Steps!
Build rapport fast, to instantly create excellent relationships for your business success. In this article you will find eight easy skills to get your realtionship building skills off to a great start Building rapport is all about creating a relationship, in the moment. And this is vital in business, education, friendships and many other areas of life.
Problem Solving
Problem Solving is a drain on your time. So here, we look at ways of minimising the time you spend on it. Because if you get your head around this topic, Problem Solving becomes a non-event.Here are simple tools and skills to minimise the impact of problems It's about taking an objective view on the way you manage and run your business or organisation. This is a winnable issue for everyone , within or outside work.
Succession Planning
In the cut and thrust of succeeding in business, it's easy to forget Succession Planning , because it is one of those things that we have to find time for. But that's just part of the story. It's much easier to fire-fight as it's all coming at us and rarely plan for the future - after all, tomorrow's another day. Planning is an unnatural process it is much more fun to do something.
Stakeholder Management
Creating the very best results depends on successful Stakeholder Management in your project, business or organisation. Yet it is so often overlooked. And then a perty you hadn't thought of comes along and puts an unexpected spanner in the works. Too bad - and you could have resolved this so easily. Based on your understanding of those who are impacted by your activities and fine-tuning your exceptional communication skills, Stakeholder Management takes the sweat out of the unexpected.
Managing Meetings
Effectively Managing Meetings is one of the most vital components for the effective use of time. So many people quote boring, unproductive meetings as being a 'waste of time' that some sense of it all is needed.Managing Meetings will help you make the best use of your time, whilst acknowledging the tremendous value of utilising those real opportunities where people get together in a generative, growth focused way. Meetings are a symptom of bad organization. The fewer meetings the better.
Delighting Customers
And through Delighting Customers frequently and often, you will drive success to your business or organisation.The key to understand here is that Delighting Customers is just that - it is more than satisfying, it is delighting them. Making their journey to you memorable . So, sorry, OK is not enough from now on - ever. Every business is built on friendship. J. C. Penney So, it is more, much more than creating a successful transaction.
Solve Problems Permanently - Ask WHY
Someone once said that the real issue behind a problem, is one or more levels below the problem. So, solving problems by fire-fighting when they arise, is firstly, not going to actually solve the problem for good. And secondly, it's tiring, wearing, distracting and worse, it causes a really demotivating environment. Definately not good - not good at all. So the best thing is to find out what's really going on, and to do this, you need to go deep.
Team Building
Elusive Maybe. Desired Definitely. Challenging Sure. But top class Team Building is what all great bosses do. Having a slick, smart, gung-ho team around you is the ingredient you need, to make your business or organisation really perform. The best leaders are those most interested in surrounding themselves with assistants and associates smarter than they are. They are frank in admitting this and are willing to pay for such talents.
Want to be inspirational? Be inspired by others.
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. Jack Kerouac, On the Road If you want to be inspirational, seek out other leaders who inspire you. Surround yourself with them. Spend time with them.
Lead responsibly
Ken and I were in the yard yesterday planting gardens when a police car drove into the driveway. We've lived in this sparsely populated location for almost two decades and although there has been an occasional car accident on the road in front of the house that requires police presence, we've never had a cop come up to the house out of the blue. The policeman had a handful of letters in his hand.
The courage to listen
People want to have your answers to even the most routine of issues. If you notice your reaction when they ask for your advice or thoughts, you might feel a little hit of adrenaline kicking in your breathing and heart rates increase with a subsequent increase in energy, perhaps a feeling of wellbeing. You like it when someone wants to know something that you know, and you especially like telling them about it. You are rewarded for your knowledge.
Psychological safety, perspective and behavior
Greg, a manager in a large company asked for his employees to be open with him. That didn't go over well since he regularly dressed down those who came to him with bad news or mistakes they'd made. He was particularly adept at cutting these employees off mid-explanation and going off on them. His weapons of choice were angrily belittling those who made mistakes. Greg used these tactics intentionally, and he felt they worked well.
The benefits of taking your clothes off
We sat across from each other in our coaching session. He was a strong leader who didn't normally have these heart to heart conversations with anyone. Yet at this moment, he felt compelled to tell me about his child, a kid who didn't fit into the world as normal , requiring a great deal of his love and time. This child was what mattered most in the world to him.
Be a role model like Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks is well respected in the world of acting he's played roles as varied as a teenage boy in an adult body (Big) a slow witted but kind man who does fantastic things (Forest Gump) and a commercial American pilot who saves his passengers by landing his plane on a river (Sully). And there are many more, as he's played a wide variety of characters over his decades-long career. And yet in each of those roles, he brings his humanity, that part of him that we all recognize to be Tom Hanks.
The Secret Responsibilities of a Leader
We all know about the usual list of responsibilities for a leader develop a vision, motivate others, etc. There are some responsibilities a leader must embrace in order to be the best at their craft that we don t normally talk about, at least in this way. They may be discussed behind closed doors with a confidante or coach, but they are not usually on a list of goals or part of performance review discussions. It is rare that they would be part of a conversation with a leader s boss.
Prepare to be amazed
Every leader manager, if they are honest, has A, B, and C employees. The A employees are high potential, self-motivated and rare. The B employees are solid performers, who do good work. The C employees can range from needing too much direction to being disruptive, and they are the ones who may not make it in an organization often a cause for a leader's frustration and sleepless nights. It's good to spend time working with your A and B employees, coaching, encouraging and developing them.
Leadership IS personal
Robert was well known as an executive who would go ballistic for the smallest of transgressions by others. He seemed to take everything personally, and often blamed the messenger who reluctantly carried any bad news into his office. I often heard him yelling and swearing so loudly at someone that you could hear every word he said from across the large building we both worked in. People feared him.
How to help people to change themselves
You're frustrated with a good employee who reports to you because you feel they aren't working up to their full potential. You've worked with them for some time now, and they appear to want to make the changes you've agreed to together, but you don't see them. You might also be irritated at yourself while you're working hard to figure out what you should do to be better coach or mentor to this employee.
How to heal a broken work relationship
It happens a lot you have someone in your circle of work relationships that is driving you crazy. This relationship may involve your boss, direct report, peer, client, customer or someone else that you feel is preventing you from being fully effective. You need this person in some way to help you to accomplish your goals and this failed relationship may be keeping you from doing that effectively.
How to have conversations like a jazz musician
Winton Marsalis has said that the best listener in an improvisational jazz session often ends up contributing the most to the music because they are able to play off whatever is being offered by the other musicians. And so it could be with the conversations you have within your organization. How often have you been in a meeting where everyone is vying for attention and waiting for their turn to speak The dialog is disjointed, with disparate pieces of information coming in from all sides.
Four ways to move beyond berating yourself
Good, kind, empathetic leaders (yes, they're out there ) are especially vulnerable to having negative self-talk. This can take the form of ruminating and spinning about things they inadvertently did or didn't do to others. Does this sound like you Berating yourself for something you've done in the past can't help you to move forward. You'll need to consciously work at getting beyond past mistakes.
Experience the joy and freedom of leadership
Are you a leader who was promoted into a position of responsibility for a work team because you were smart and successful as an individual contributor Are you proud of the expertise that allows you to know the course of action to be taken in almost every situation Do your team members beat a path to your door to ask lots of direction about how to do their work You could be suffering from an addiction to being all-knowing.
What is change asking of your leadership?
Susanne is a mid-level executive who successfully worked in the same position for several years. She realized at some point that she was too comfortable and began looking for another job. Her goal was to find a position that would capitalize on her strengths while providing new learning opportunities. Several months into her search, Susanne found the ideal position. Not only did it entail a promotion it also included responsibilities that would challenge her with new things to learn.
Time to make a stand and change your life - Memes and Homework
What feelings does that word conjure up for you Dread Well, suffer some more, because I've got some homework for you. You all know that one of the failures in the world of Personal Development is reading and not practicing. Many people read, get a boost of inspiration, and then don't apply whatever they've learnt. UrbanMonk.Net is a very practical blog, and so I'd like to set a few challenges and assignments for you.
Finding and Challenging The Causes: Behavioural Mastery, Part
Many psychologists say there are four broad areas we can change our lives and focus our personal growth on emotions, thoughts, behaviours, and relationships. Each person will naturally be drawn to one area and find it most effective. In the previous post, The Key to Behavioural Mastery, we looked at our emotions, attachments, and desires. In this post, we will go a little deeper, to find the faulty conclusions, the hidden fears and needs that drive them.
It might kill you otherwise: Anger Release
It colours everything. Every moment of your day is influenced by it. It is often linked to depression. There is no way to achieve true, lasting happiness with it inside you. There is no way you can have a proper romantic relationship. Sadness and anger don't just go away by themselves. Many people suffer from these emotions. Do you It will kill you. The Incredible Hulk isn't so fun in real lifeI suffered from anger issues years ago. I was depressed.
Melting Away Your Self-Defeating Behaviors with Behaviorism, Part
Are you ready to make some changes Welcome to the second post in the Behaviourism inspired series. The first post presented the basics, with a view to uncovering and understanding our associations. This article builds on those concepts, presenting solid processes and thoughts for practical change. Working with RewardsWe've discussed how certain behaviours are very attractive to us because they have been associated with a reward.
Concepts For A Better Understanding Of Chiropractic
What is chiropractic Chiropractic is a natural and effective method that helps people regain their optimal health, optimizing the functions of the nervous system. Also, it is achieved to achieve a corporal well-being since, thanks to the chiropractic also improves, mainly, the biomechanical function of the vertebral column. Chiropractic is for everyone it is aimed at all people, regardless of their age, who want to live fully.
4 Acceptable Reasons To Visit A Med
Don't let your face show how stressed you are.In our lives, we face constant stress and problems that make us feel tired about our lives. When we're exhausted, not only our body suffers but also our mental sharpness. It all becomes worse when you find your face looking dreadful and that luster of confidence going away. Most people would turn to beauty products to revamp themselves, but I say a quick visit to a med spa will make everything alright.
Agility and Mindfulness - You Need Both
The stresses senior leaders face in fast-moving organizations include pressure to achieve business goals in shortened time periods, constant organizational change and personal turmoil (often related to what's happening at work). I fear these forces will continue to increase. These dilemmas have made me acutely aware of how times have changed since I was in the corporate world the pace and stress I faced pales in comparison to what leaders experience today.
Want charisma? Know who you are and act accordingly.
Robert (not his real name) is one of the most charismatic leaders I've ever known. Simultaneously he also happens to be ethical, effective, influential and even inspiring. He is graceful in his approaches with both his board and the people he leads in return they express great respect for him. Comfortable in his skin and able to get along with anyone, he might be considered the ideal leader, the one we want to be or be like in the way we lead. His charisma is just who he is.
Becoming a great leader takes intention and mindfulness
In reality, most leaders aren't naturals at leading people they have to learn by trial and error. Think of all the professions that people go into that require years of honing their craft musician, doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher, scientist .the list goes on. Although leadership has yet to acquire the title of profession (even if it should), it similarly requires continual awareness, learning, and fine tuning in the craft of leading others.
The Obstacles to Mature Love, Part
My friend told me a story once, of how she fell for one man a story that tells of the gentle miracle of total acceptance. Before that, she was only dating him casually, undecided about her feelings. There was a long and stressful week in particular, and at the end of it she was storming around in his room, yelling and venting her anger at everything in sight. She suddenly stopped when she noticed what he had been doing.
Coaching Skills For Breakthrough Performance
If you have intact leadership teams, project teams, virtual teams or a group who needs to bump up their performance or learn to work together, consider team and group coaching as an option. When communication and relationships need a lift or if you have a leadership team that could benefit from learning together, team and group coaching may be a viable solution.
Six ways of being an approachable leader
Never underestimate how important being approachable is to the work that needs to be done in your organization. When you are approachable, people can connect and relate to you. They understand what is needed for success and are willing to roll up their sleeves to get the work done. When others feel that you are open to hearing what they have to say, they will keep you apprised of the things you need to know.
Quietly revel in your success
We've all seen it the leader who takes all the credit for success and doesn't deflect any of it to the people who did the hard daily work to get there. Maybe you have been subjected to that leader who brags and lays claim to all that's been achieved without recognizing the good hard work you put in. It's not a great feeling. In fact, it's enough to cause loss of enthusiasm and engagement. Everyone knows what this puffed-up leader has and hasn't done.
Your sources of real power
Leadership just isn't what it used to be. Thank goodness We've all known of organizational cultures where the managers' use of command and control is a source of power. Because we are now in an age of flattened organizational structures, global broad based knowledge, and speed of light decision making, real leadership power lies in work relationships that are formed and intentionally sustained. In the next 20 years, we'll see more change in how managers lead.
Your mountain is waiting
We all have things we can improve upon these are nothing to be ashamed or concerned about. The problem comes for those who are working to climb the corporate mountain at some point, some behaviors, no matter how seemingly minor become unacceptable at worse or career stallers at best. Perhaps you've struggled for years with an unappealing behavior you'd like to improve upon.
You, Unoaked
I'm not particularly knowledgeable about wine, and drink little of it. However, I do love a glass of good white wine with a meal and have come to appreciate the unoaked (also called unwooded or naked) varieties of Chardonnay. Because the wine is stored in stainless steel vessels instead of oak barrels, it doesn't carry the heavier flavor of the oak into the wine. Thus the subtle flavors of the grapes come through in the unoaked wine without being overpowered by the heavier oak flavor.
You can't see a vision when you're tangled in the weeds
If you are a people leader , every time you get more responsibility, you need to work toward seeing further, broader, and becoming more visionary. When you take on a higher level of work you need to be thinking about delegating and stepping out of the daily work to fly above it and see a vision. When you are overly tangled in the weeds checking up on minutiae, making decisions someone else could be making, rolling up your sleeves and getting too involved your vision is blinded.
You Can't Change Others So Change Yourself
I love leaders who see the possibility and potential in the people they lead. Yet the methods many use to change those employees who aren't performing up to their potential are ineffective I wish you would (fill in the blank) I don't like the way you (fill in the blank) I want you to change .(fill in the blank) We spin our wheels when we apply the illusion of control to the people we lead. We think we can make them into something more to our liking, more like us, more like .whatever.
Your leadership instrument
A Stradivarius violin can cost millions of dollars. These instruments built by the Stradivari family in the 17th and 18th centuries, are coveted for being the finest in the world for the sound that emanates from them by the world's greatest violinists. Yet in blind trials over recent years, amateur and virtuoso violinists alike cannot distinguish between the sound that comes from a Strad and a more modern violin played by someone else.
Workplace conflict and knowing when to let things go
I had a great conversation the other day with a seasoned and accomplished leader (let's call him Rob ) who's been in a tough spot for a while. Rob was feeling stuck at work with a boss that took the credit for all of Rob's hard work. It is a big source of frustration, and Rob couldn't see a way out. This has been going on for a long time, and although it doesn't seem to be affecting his performance, Rob is beginning to wear down.
Work That Changes
An open letter to stuck or unhappy leaders everywhere I honestly don't know how I got so lucky. After decades of work in the corporate world, I was kicked out of the nest (and my comfort zone) by forces beyond my control that quietly and persistently told me that something else awaited that would change me. It was my time and I was open to it, and I feel so grateful that I can hardly speak about what it means without getting all teary-eyed. I don't have a job or a career.
Why staying calm is important
As a new employee, relatively fresh out of college and working at a Fortune 100 company, I had some preconceived notions about how people would behave in a professional environment. I learned quickly that people are people and that my ideas about treating others with respect especially in the workplace weren't always top of mind for others. My cubicle was in the corner of a huge square space the size of warehouse filled with other cubicles.
Why Relationships Matter to Inspiring Leaders
Geoffrey Cohen summed it up well when he said, The need to belong, to associate, is among the most important human motives. We are almost certainly hardwired with a fundamental motivation to maintain these associations. What causes some personal relationships to feel so close and remain that way over many years, even with limited interactions There are many reasons, but one is the result of sharing similar values, aspirations, and common experiences.
Who Do You Learn From?
All leaders should make an effort to surround themselves with people who stretch their thinking. Those who live out of the box, are different from us, way ahead of us, following the road less travelled, societal outcasts and those who live and work quietly all are fair game to learn from. Ironically, those who have chosen a different path are often the people we reject yet they are the people that we can learn the most from.
When your manager asks you to work with a coach
Panic and fear have you in their grip you because your manager has asked you to work with an executive coach. What does that mean Your mind is racing and going to the only plausible reason you can think of for him to suggest it you're in trouble. Wrong. I often find that the manager doesn't do a good job of explaining why they want someone to work with a coach. Usually, none of the reasons they have involve trouble.
When you want to know what others think
Photo credit 123RF You are a good leader. You feel like you've done your best to develop the relationships that will make your employees feel safe in speaking their truth. Imagine you are in a room for a team meeting to have a tough discussion about their performance, behavior, or a project that's going south. You ask for their thoughts on the situation. Crickets. Silence. The eyes in the room are focused everywhere but at you. You're disappointed.
When you need to reset
Yet on occasion I need to do a check-in with myself because I might be feeling self-critical, stale, or heavy about it, and that can impact my effectiveness. That's when I need a reset to help me to get back on track. I know you can feel lost from time to time too, perhaps from stress, dissatisfaction, or restlessness. You might be wondering if there is a new path you need to take.
When You Coach, This is What Happens
I've been teaching managers how to coach for several years in groups, and also 1 1 in coach client relationships. Having worked in the corporate world, and having an aha moment when I learned the process and skills in coaching, I find it an extremely valuable tool for managers to use at the right time, with the right people. It may come as no surprise that I love hearing stories from clients about the changes they notice in their organizations when they set about to intentionally coach others.
When work passion goes awry
It seems everyone is talking about having passion about the work they do these days. Having (or finding) passion seems especially important for leaders who need to infuse the energy of their passion into the workplace to get done what needs to be done. Yet there needs to be note of caution here.
When things fall apart and they will
Whether you're just beginning to lead or you've been a leader for a long time, you know that eventually something will go wrong. Because you are a good or even great leader, you know that you'll be able to get through it. This is true because you have strong, healthy work (and outside of work ) relationships to support you. You know that others will be there for you because you are Intentional about building authentic relationships.
When Less is More
A few years ago, my teenage daughter and I walked into a store together me, the upset mother of a somewhat rebellious but proud-of her-new-look teenager who had just dyed her hair in stripes of red, white, and blue. I hadn't fully decided how I should address this new look with my daughter.
When great leaders need to be great followers
After a year as president on a board of directors, I'm now officially the immediate past president. I'm learning to be more of a follower in this new role sometimes doing OK, and at other times not so well. My rocky experience has prompted me to think about what it means to be a leader and a follower at the same time an essential attribute for great leaders. All leaders have obvious others they need to follow. Every one of us has someone to answer to.
When Do We Forgive?
A post a while back on whether there is a shortage of good leaders fostered some interesting comments, tweets and private conversations most of which confirmed that the majority of individuals feel that we're suffering a deficiency in this arena. I've thought about the responses ever since that post was published.
What's your best excuse for not delegating?
Delegating work is one of the most endlessly challenging things a leader can do. Leaders at any level in an organization can struggle with decisions about entrusting others to do some of the work they're hanging on to. The simple truth is that you must delegate some work in order to do the work you're be paid to do. That promotion into the position you're currently in is contingent on your ability to step up to it.
What your humanity looks like to others
Sara picked up a used set of golf clubs determined to play golf with her friends so she just started playing. Although she enjoyed it, a year or so into golfing she recognized that she needed to some instruction on the finer points of her swing so she hired a golf pro to assist. David had been a successful CEO for several years. He was beginning to feel stale in his ability to lead. He also noticed that he had returned to some behaviors that he had worked hard to eliminate.
What To Do With Blind Spots
Dan Rockwell of Leadership Freak fame wrote a thoughtful piece called Spotting Blind Spots recently. In his words, You don't see you like others see you. Blind spots are things that others easily see in us but we don't or won't see in ourselves. This started me thinking once again about one of my own blind spots. Living as long as I have, and having been poked, prodded, assessed and provided with feedback all of my life this recently-revealed blind spot hit me like a ton of bricks.
What Success Looks Like
As a very busy mid-level executive in a Fortune 100 company, he took to coaching like a duck to water. He was ready to work on himself. When we first started our work together, he thoroughly studied the 360 feedback he'd received and focused on learning from the leadership development training he'd just had. He knew immediately the goals he wanted to work on and couldn't wait to get started.
What happens in a workplace with healthy relationships?
Relationship is a word that we don't use much in the workplace to designate personal connections with our colleagues. I rather suspect the reason we don't is because it implies expression of emotions (fondness, love, compassion , etc.). How sad that the good feelings that we experience when we are connected and a part of the lives of those around us at work can't be acknowledged.
What Do You Need to do More Of?
I've not yet read the biography of Steve Jobs, but have certainly heard a lot about his leadership since he passed away. It strikes me that he wasn't good with people (this may be an understatement, by the way). Stories of his arrogance, selfishness, explosive personality, and demeaning others abound. Yet he was a genius who was able to encourage others to create great things for Apple and our world. I don't mean to be disrespectful. Steve Jobs was a brilliant one-man powerhouse of creativity.
What do “healthy workplace relationships” look like?
Relationship is a word that we are hearing more about in the workplace to designate positive personal connections with our colleagues. Although expressing emotions at work is still considered unacceptable in most workplaces, positive emotions have an impact on the quality of relationships at work and ultimately, the work that gets done. Its wonderful when the good feelings that we experience when we are connected and a part of the lives of those around us at work are acknowledged.